Husband went to the gym on Christmas Day?

[pineofcone]

We did Christmas just the two of us. We don’t have children and our families live in different countries.

We did presents, watched a film, cooked dinner and then he said he was off to the gym. He is very much into the gym, goes pretty much every day.

He couldn’t understand why I was annoyed that he couldn’t just miss one day. Aibu?

Manipulative to who? Strangers on the internet who aren’t my husband?

No way was the gym open Christmas day. Even if it was, why would he not want to be with you?

😂😂😂😂

At least read the thread - OP has said the gym was open.

As for the second comment - he can want to be with OP and go to the gym. Couples don't need to be attached at the hip just because it's Christmas.

So would I probably. BUT I would have the self-awareness to recognise it was Christmas Day and to check with my partner that they didn't mind. It appears that DH doesn't particularly see it as such but IS a special day, and they were spending it together so I'd have at least expected him to ask if it was OK. And to accept a no graciously if that was the answer. He can go all the other days!

Well I went to the gym as well, Christmas Eve and Boxing Day though. We have a home gym in a garage. I did this because I am neurotic and insecure about my looks/fitness and it is much easier for me to keep the habit going without missing my workouts. I fall off the wagon easily and missing just a couple of workouts over holiday period or vacation can quickly put me in a very dark self-loathing space, causing to miss even more workouts and then it just snowballs. He might be battling a similar crisis.

Good for him.
It's only me and DH at home but I'd have no issue if he went to the gym.
We always walk dog together Christmas Day for about an hour but if he didn't want to come I'd still go on my own.

And yet numerous posters have said their gym was also open. So why it is a “no way”?

People are so strange … why is it even being questioned, when multiple people have also confirmed their gym was in fact open. It’s so boring to keep going over the same irrelevant point.

I actually can’t believe how many have posted on this thread. It’s a bit extreme so please continue arguing between yourselves.

Are you suggesting this is a LTB scenario because he wanted to pursue a regular activity by himself for what was probably a short period of time? Is he unworthy of the relationship because he didn't want to cater to the OP's unwillingness to be alone at all?

It is possible to factor a run into Christmas morning between presents and lunch. I think you both need work out a “timetable” next year. He’s creating a situation but you are making it worse.

Oh for goodness sake.

I hear you OP, you wanted a special Xmas day just the two of you, he decides to go to the gym which is an every day activity and leaves you alone on Xmas day for which you had high expectations.
Different if you are both gym bunnies or it was agreed before hand but basically he doesn't want to disrupt his gym routine even for Xmas day and exercise is a top priority for him .
He probably didn't occur to him how you would feel about it.
I think it's about expectations for the day and communication.
Not sure how much of this applies to DP but some people are obsessed with exercise, it's like a addiction. Clearly this is brilliant for their health but can sometimes make them self absorbed and unaware of the impact on others, particularly if they can't change routine for special days or it takes up a disproportionate anount of time and energy or a partner is left alone for long periods or is left carrying a larger load of childcare or household tasks because of it. Often if they don't get their exercise fix they become grumpy and snappy.
So if he is obsessed /competes/does triathlons etc then you may want to set up some clear boundaries and expectations now.

If your attitude on this thread is anything to go by then he probably wanted to go to the gym to get a break from you.

If you start a thread then I’m assuming you want peoples opinions? Your thread is pretty boring but at least some people have taken the time to reply to you 🤷🏻‍♀️

But that's not what happening here! There's no suggestion that OP can't 'bear' to be apart from him - it was Christmas Day and he just up and off to the gym without asking - it's not the crime of the century but it IS a bit thoughtless. It sounds like any other day of the year they both run their schedules as they please which is totally normal. But I don't think there's anything wrong with OP being a bit surprised that Christmas Day he just goes out

Because they'd opened presents, watched a movie, cooked and eaten dinner.

The gym (like many others) was open on Christmas day so he thought he'd pop along.

Would you have the same problem if he wanted to go for a walk?

Yes - I know, which is why I said "I'm not saying OP is needy, but I know people who are like that" in response to a PP's post about it

And? If it bothered you and you know he goes every day why didn't you discuss your day beforehand and lay out your expectations? You can't just assume someone isn't going to do a daily 'thing' just because it's christmas.

Chill the fuck out, hopefully 🤷‍♂️

I do celebrate Christmas with the family, DC older now and live in their own homes but are here for Christmas day most years depending on work rotas and we do have a good time but if they did want to do something else on Christmas day I wouldn't be overly upset.

But....
I think if this is the norm for your DH I'd have an agreement that he's either going to limit his Gym time until after the DC open their presents and go for an hour or so making sure he's back just before serving up time or he doesn't get be part of the days celebrations at all and can fix himself his own food during the day.

Maybe that's a tradition you should start and if he's OK with not being a part if it crack on...
If he's not, well, it's not much of a compromise for him to make...

Meh. DH goes most days. He didn't go on Christmas Day as we have DC and spent it with wider family but if we'd had a quieter day I can't imagine I'd have minded him going - I assume it was only a couple of hrs out of the house?

Hundreds of folk were out doing our local park run xmas day, going to the gym is no different. YABU.

I don't see the problem. It's his routine and it's healthy. Better than going out on a bender!!!

I went to the gym on Christmas Day. What’s the big deal? It’s 1 hour out of 24.
Tye gym is my social time to see friends, and we all did a workout together on Christmas Day in our Santa hats and Christmas T-shirts.

Why didn't you go to the gym with him if you couldn't bear to be apart?

Good for him. I hope you found a way to enjoy that short time yourself. I walked the dog down to the river for some fetch & swim after lunch myself while DH and my dad helped the DC ride bicycles around the house.

Getting upset about this would be an absolute dealbreaker in a relationship for me. I need regular breaks from togetherness or I simply don’t enjoy togetherness. During times with lots of social and couple time like Christmas this becomes more important, not less. My DH is an extrovert and I don’t think he can truly relate or share in that feeling, but he respects that it’s the same as his need for social time and actively helps make sure I get time to myself, even with our herd of DC.