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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband went to the gym on Christmas Day?

360 replies

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 13:51

We did Christmas just the two of us. We don’t have children and our families live in different countries.

We did presents, watched a film, cooked dinner and then he said he was off to the gym. He is very much into the gym, goes pretty much every day.

He couldn’t understand why I was annoyed that he couldn’t just miss one day. Aibu?

OP posts:
johnyhadasister · 27/12/2024 16:35

How is your social life here otherwise? Made some nice friends, perhaps will have a baby as well and Christmas will make much more sense to both of you...good luck

katepilar · 27/12/2024 16:36

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 13:59

I should have elaborated more but it’s our first Christmas just us, we’re used to bigger family Christmases. And I just didn’t want to be on my own.

For one day I thought he could miss it. He goes pretty much every day (depending on work).

Have you discussed plans for Christmas Day beforehand? Did you happen to have different expectations without telling each other?

johnyhadasister · 27/12/2024 16:37

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 15:24

And yet numerous posters have said their gym was also open. So why it is a “no way”?

People are so strange … why is it even being questioned, when multiple people have also confirmed their gym was in fact open. It’s so boring to keep going over the same irrelevant point.

I actually can’t believe how many have posted on this thread. It’s a bit extreme so please continue arguing between yourselves.

Show quote history

LOL. They love to do just that, even when we give sensible caring advice.

Olika · 27/12/2024 16:40

My gym is open every day and I would have gone but I got ill. Personally I don't think it's weird or could be bothered about it.

menopausalfart · 27/12/2024 16:44

It would have pissed me off early on in our relationship. Now, I'd be glad he was out of the way for a couple of hours.

Billybagpuss · 27/12/2024 16:45

YABU just be happy he spent a couple of hours doing something he loves and enjoy the peace to watch something that is more you than him.

dm used to work in the tax office and apparently Christmas Day was one of the busiest days for people filing their self assessments online. The Gym is much more interesting.

Definitelynotagladiator · 27/12/2024 16:45

This is a communication issue. He was planning on going to the gym but didn’t tell you. You were expecting him to spend all day together and skip the gym just for Christmas Day but hadn’t said so. Especially as this was a different Christmas to usual. I get why you are upset. I would’ve been too.

Pickingmyselfup · 27/12/2024 16:55

I wouldn't have minded if it wasn't for very long and we had nothing else planned.

I was supposed to be out for a couple of hours running yesterday but I didn't end up going because I had a hangover. We have kids but we had nothing planned so it would have been absolutely fine for me to disappear. All any of us did yesterday was lounge around.

Instead I took myself off for a 45 minute run after work today and I feel better for doing so. I'm not leading some double life, I went for a run because I need to, got some big races coming up and because it makes me feel better. I wouldn't have gone Christmas Day because we were busy but I have gone to work in previous years so it wouldn't have been any different to that, better actually because it would have been for less time.

Of course I am assuming it was 2 hours tops, if it were several hours then I think you are right in feeling annoyed.

ginasevern · 27/12/2024 17:00

I think for a first Christmas alone and for a young couple (who haven't got the stage where they're actively glad when the other one buggers off for a while) it's a reasonable expectation he would spend the day with his wife. Boxing Day is usually the day to go for long walks, bike rides, football matches etc.

Tvp123 · 27/12/2024 17:03

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 15:24

And yet numerous posters have said their gym was also open. So why it is a “no way”?

People are so strange … why is it even being questioned, when multiple people have also confirmed their gym was in fact open. It’s so boring to keep going over the same irrelevant point.

I actually can’t believe how many have posted on this thread. It’s a bit extreme so please continue arguing between yourselves.

Show quote history

Are you in the UK? Most gyms in the UK would have been closed on Christmas day so if you are not in the UK that might make more sense to people.

Grapewrath · 27/12/2024 17:05

My gym was closed Xmas day or I would have gone. I went for a run instead. I do not feel good sitting around the house all day and moving makes me feel better. Not sure why it’s an issue for your husband to take some time out of his day to do something he enjoys

ShortyShorts · 27/12/2024 17:06

mumedu · 27/12/2024 15:45

The gym is not open on Christmas Day.

And you're not reading the thread.

dynamiccactus · 27/12/2024 17:11

doodleygirl · 27/12/2024 13:53

I went for a run on Xmas day, didnt for one minute think I shouldn’t.

I was going to say the same thing, I went to parkrun. DH came with me, but he hasn't always, and has never said I shouldn't go if he wasn't coming.

It's good to get out of the house for some air and to create a calorie deficit before Christmas dinner (or to burn some off afterwards).

muddyford · 27/12/2024 17:11

I took the dogs out for an hour in the morning and went birdwatching for an hour in the afternoon. DH was quite happy snoozing in front of the television.

PeloMom · 27/12/2024 17:12

I also went to the gym on Xmas day while DH watched DC. What’s wrong with that?

dynamiccactus · 27/12/2024 17:13

Also never occurred to me that a gym might not be open. Clearly the staffed ones won't be, but there are the ones where you just let yourself in - I assume you can get into many of those 365 days a year.

It's frankly odd that many MNers' first thought must be he's having an affair rather than having a think about whether there are circumstances in which a gym might be accessible.

Original poster
pineofcone · 27/12/2024 17:14

Stravaig · 27/12/2024 16:12

This is the third thread I've seen today where it is the OP's partner who needs the 'red flag, run!' advice from MNetters.

Because I want to spend one full day with them?

OP posts:
whosaidtha · 27/12/2024 17:15

dynamiccactus · 27/12/2024 17:13

Also never occurred to me that a gym might not be open. Clearly the staffed ones won't be, but there are the ones where you just let yourself in - I assume you can get into many of those 365 days a year.

It's frankly odd that many MNers' first thought must be he's having an affair rather than having a think about whether there are circumstances in which a gym might be accessible.

My gym is 24hrs but was closed Xmas day.

Original poster
pineofcone · 27/12/2024 17:15

Tvp123 · 27/12/2024 17:03

Are you in the UK? Most gyms in the UK would have been closed on Christmas day so if you are not in the UK that might make more sense to people.

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Oh ffs. Who cares anymore. The people fascinated by whether a gym is closed or not is just baffling.

OP posts:
ShortyShorts · 27/12/2024 17:17

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 17:14

Because I want to spend one full day with them?

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It's not all about you though is it?

It's Christmas for your husband too.

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 27/12/2024 17:22

YABU. You do not have to spend every minute of Christmas Day together for it to be special.

Maybe that’s your idea of showing how much you value your partner but not everyone is quite so needy most people would be fine with a couple of hours apart.

Curb it before you become the problem in your relationship.

Sarahconnor1 · 27/12/2024 17:24

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 17:15

Oh ffs. Who cares anymore. The people fascinated by whether a gym is closed or not is just baffling.

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They aren't fascinated, they are just absolutely desperate for an affair story, for whatever reason (they probably need to think about why that is)

Alittlebitfluffy · 27/12/2024 17:24

If it was for an hour, what's the problem? I'd find it very needy if I was guilt tripped for wanting an hour to myself to exercise. Sounds like he spent the rest of the day with you around that so I don't see the issue.

redskydarknight · 27/12/2024 17:26

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 17:14

Because I want to spend one full day with them?

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So what would you have done in the time that he went to the gym, if he hadn't gone?

Original poster
pineofcone · 27/12/2024 17:30

ShortyShorts · 27/12/2024 17:17

It's not all about you though is it?

It's Christmas for your husband too.

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And he did exactly what he wanted?

OP posts: