To just … not have toys?

[giveupontoys]

Obviously we’ll have to have some, but my DS(4) just doesn’t seem to play with them.

Christmas presents included a toy ice cream van and he just gets everything out and then it ends up discarded and thrown everywhere, so bits get lost and it’s unusable. This is the same as everything we get.

He has a few toy trucks / cars type things but doesn’t really seem to play with them.

I know people will say not to let him or to discipline him but he just ignores us … doesn’t solve anything.

I don’t know what to do really. It kind of seems pointless having toys if they end up unusable but on the other hand he has to have some things.

What if you took him to a toy shop and let him pick something out? Sounds like vehicles aren’t his thing.

But maybe some skill games, or more books, puzzles? Some kids don’t play with games and toys much, my eldest didn’t. She’s perfectly lovely but just was into other things (craft, drawing, looking after her cuddley toys, pretending to be mummy)

Does he complain he is bored?
If not then it's not a big issue if he doesn't play with the toys he has.
Does he like doing things like colouring or stickers?

My eldest ( now 12) was not interested in toys at all when small. I remember thinking they were th biggest waste of space/ con … then had another child who played with toys all the time…. They are all different

Oh I’m rubbish, I’ll admit it. I think both of us are a bit lost as to what we’re supposed to do.

The vehicles are all quite similar. Does he have a floor mat and road signs he can set out scenes on?

DS requires a lot of parental input with his brio. To be fair, it would be quite boring pushing trains around on your own, and he’s not at the level of being able to build track layouts on his own.

Paw patrol tower sounds a bit gimmicky. We’ve been caught out with hot wheels a few times like this. They only do one thing, so once they’ve played with them once, they don’t really see much point in playing with them again

Really would recommend ‘doing’ toys as opposed to imaginative toys. He sounds quite sensory seeking as well - you could get a spinning stool or a swing or a tent or something.

You need to get down on his level and play with him. I suspect a lack of this is the problem

Yes my other child plays so … nicely!

Does he enjoy books, since you mentioned being a bookish household? Does he look at books on his own, try to read words, etc.? How are his communication skills?

Genuinely no idea how.

You don't know how to sit on the floor and pick up a toy?

I had one who didn’t really play with toys. His older brother had the house filled with toys but he was never really that bothered. I remember he did like those action figure type dolls so had some of those and was obsessed with football but Christmas and birthdays were v quickly clothes and shoes type gifts rather than toys and games.

He doesn’t usually read alone but seems enthusiastic reading with me. He seems fine communicating, no concerns raised at nursery either.

I know you’re being sarcastic but that’s not playing is it, it’s picking up a toy.

It doesn't have to be toys but you need to gainfully occupy him somehow.

One of mine we more or less stopped buying toys for too (he's autistic and thinks most of them are pointless) but it was a question of finding what else to keep him busy with instead.

Play doh is quite a fun activity that you can both engage in together.One of my sons wasn’t interested in toys but loved books . You do need to play,read with him .

Sone children are just playing differently. If you go to a toy shop or playgroup what does he tend to pick up, given a free choice?
Some children just prefer playing with people rather than things.
Or they want a different sensory experience, maybe play-doh or something that can be played/hammered/has buttons or functions or does music.

Climbing might be a sensory seeking behaviour, is there another indoor toy he can pull/reach/use his strength on?

Dd has always loved her toys but her friend was the same as your son. Never liked them or played with them. Some kids just aren’t interested. Would he like more of sciency set that you could do with him maybe as opposed to something that needs imagination?

Op, you mention how stressful it is for you when he tips everything out.
I wonder whether he’s picked up on that on some level and doesn’t like causing stress?
I would try your very best to get him to play inside; whilst outdoors is great, it’s not realistic when he/ you are sick, weather is very bad or for every half term which will be coming up when he starts school

Would it be that you fuss around him, butting in if he’s not playing with a toy in a way you’d like or telling him not to be making a mess, or to be careful, etc ?

I am not being sarcastic. It sounds like you are not even willing to try

He always goes for the vehicular type toys but then doesn’t massively engage with them. My worry is the fact that his ‘play’ is ‘emptying all over the floor’ which is stressful and ruins things so I’m put off buying them.

Is there only possibility of neurodiversity? My child didn't play with toys in a conventional way - he just liked to tip things out of boxes. At 7yo he is still like this. But he enjoyed watching train sets from about 3y and started role playing in the last year. And he loves action figures from TV, though again he didn't used to play in a very conventional way. Rather than being very choosy about toys, we latch onto any interests he does have and spend a fortune. 🙄

I don’t as a rule or don’t think I do. I do find the emptying contents everywhere hard though.

See, I find this easy, even in my late 50’s. Maybe make noise of ice-cream van and you be the customer, he makes ice-cream and asks for the money and counts change (educational bit), or he makes tea, food if he has tea set/kitchen and serves it to you / his teddies or cuddly toys…

I do wonder @Mamma17373 but no concerns raised at preschool - hard to say.