I didn’t get any Christmas presents

[NeedySwan]

Not even a box of chocolates or biscuits from my whole family, parents/siblings etc.

So sorry OP. That sounds really hurtful. Is this a common experience? Do you feel able to express to them how their total lack of consideration of you has made you feel? Xxx

Why didn't they get you anything?

Definitely not. Would cause a family argument I think… they say because they put on a buffet on Christmas Eve that is the gift

A buffet is your gift? Are you the only one who eats it, then?

No everyone comes and eats it so I don’t really understand it. But my siblings who couldn’t make it on Christmas Eve apparently missed out on their ‘gift’ the buffet.

They sound very strange and thoughtless.
Don’t wait to be gifted anything - go and treat yourself to something you really want and forget their lack of consideration.

That's shit. And I say that as someone for whome getting no presents would be the ideal scenario.

I certainly don’t expect anything expensive and I’m not a greedy person. Just would be nice to have a ‘token’ gift.

We don't do presents, but everyone knows that so it's not s surprise. Are they not embarrassed? Did you give them gifts?

Buy them something from Poundland next year (if anything) and spend the rest on yourself.

I am sorry but this is the weirdest thing I have heard this Xmas on MN. I am so sorry you have to be dealing with such weird crap. 🥺

That’s awful. If I were you, I would take the value of whatever you would budget for their birthdays next year, and buy yourself something lovely.

Oh that is really sad. Do you usually exchange gifts?

First Christmas I’ve been in a few years, however the buffet was the gift the last time I went. Just find it odd, and my partner thinks it’s the strangest family set up he’s ever heard of.

Neither did I. I got a couple of boxes of chocolates (one I don't like) from my Cubs in my Pack but literally nothing else. To be fair, I told my toxic mother that I'd give her presents to a charity shop as it was her PA way of getting me to talk to her!

I gave money, gifts, vouchers etc to my "family" and I didn't get a thank you or a text to say Merry Christmas. I have decided that 2025 will be my year of being a tight fisted bastard and I will love it.

Don't your partner get you anything?

So does your whole family, parents/siblings give each other gifts & you were the only one left out? Or did no one exchange gifts? Did you buy for them? Did your partner not get you anything either? Did you get him something?

Think there's more to it tbh

I got gifts for whole family.
Sib1 got presents for parents and 1 sibling.
Sib2 got presents for parents and nieces.
Sib3 got presents for parents.

parents got buffet for all.

Did your partner not get you something?

I didn't get any presents either - other than a generic gift voucher from my line manager.

The adults on my side of the family agreed a few years ago that we wouldn't do them any more and my DH declared a few weeks ago that a household expense/item would double as my Christmas present this year. We got a voucher from his parents that was opened a week ago with their Christmas card.

Kids are too young to get me anything independently. I ended up wrapping up a £20 piece of equipment I had bought for my hobby earlier in the year, and a box of chocolates that were (and still are) destined for our boxing day hosts so that I at least had something to unwrap so the children wouldn't notice I had literally nothing.

Why didn’t your partner get you something? I do think using the buffet as a present is strange, but if they didn’t do presents last time then you know what the set up is. Not everyone does presents.

I think if they told you in advance the buffet was the present then I would have brought wine or something.

At least now you know not to bother next year

The buffet as a present is strange but logical if they think of it in terms of money spent per person. Was it an expensive affair? Was drink provided too?

It sounds more like hosting, I went to a friend's for a meal prior to Xmas, we took wine, chocs, flowers and they put on a lovely meal for us. So similar to your experience really.

Was there a gift opening time with everyone sat round? If so that's awkward and I'd expect them to have got you something to open. Didn't your partner or siblings get you anything?

I didn't get anything either - well, 3 cards total - but I'm not fussed about it, actually more delighted cos I have a house full of stuff already.

But I understand it's hurtful OP.

Make this your last year buying anything for any of them. Bring some food to contribute to the buffet as a gift for all. Stop letting them treat you badly. Match their energy.