I didn’t get any Christmas presents

[NeedySwan]

Not even a box of chocolates or biscuits from my whole family, parents/siblings etc.

What happened on the years you didn't go for the buffet? Did you parents send you a present, or is it the buffet or nothing?

My DH parents never bought presents. One year they unusually have him some money and he immediately spent it on a tablet that his mum needed! I have 3 siblings and 10 neices and nephews and for a few years now we have only bought one secret Santa gift, max value £20 shop everyone gets one gift. Last 2 years we have done no presents, so I just bought for my 3 kids( young adults) My DH and I don't bother. It is actually very liberating to just move away from all the stress of spending so much.
When you say you got no presents, did your DH not buy you anything?

As long as you know it could be okay and low stress. Bonus your presence is your present to them.
Your partner should treat you though and the two of you develop your own tradition.
My DS for family reasons does Christmas over 3 days.

It sounds like this was expected so what’s the problem? Your parents don’t do gifts. Your siblings don’t seem to for each other either.

Surely you got gifts from your partner and any friends you did secret Santa with?

You have to just accept that your family don’t do gifts and sort out other plans with your partner and friends.

Did your OH get you anything?

The weirdest Christmas set up ever . Never ever heard of food being the actual gift . I'm not sure I'd engage with that again and would make my own Christmas at home or go on holiday .

Right so it sounds like your parents didn't give to anyone & your siblings didn't give to each other either (except one of them)
I agree it's a weird situation but your op makes out like everyone is busy exchanging gifts with each other while you're sitting there with nothing, which doesn't seem to be the case

You still haven't said whether your partner bought you anything.

If you want a present from siblings you could suggest a secret Santa.

Why didn’t your partner buy you anything? It doesn’t appear you live with your parents, so are an adult in an adult relationship?

What did you have for the buffet? What was served???

I hope your partner got you a present! Your family setup is a bit odd but families mostly are odd in some way, in my experience. Best forgot about gifts in future, unless you like to give them to the children in your family.

Don’t buy presents for siblings going forward. If they ask, say you’re doing as they did this year.

parents, I would do a token gift for if they’re doing a buffet even if a buffet is an odd gift

partner?? Did you give your partner a gift and they gave you nothing?

Sorry lucd that sounds dismal. Did you still get your partner a gift though even yours was the household item 🙄?

I would use the voucher his parents got to buy something for yourself.

It's the one sidedness of some of this that's the problem. If someone decides they're not doing gifts, I'd expect them to say 'and don't get me anything either'

Well I don't think parents should be expected to give adult children gifts.
I buy for mine but I don't expect them to buy for me. I would rather they spend money on something for themselves. And I would gladly accept a good buffet and effort from them as a gift. I truly hate a token box of chocolates as a gift for any occasion. I would rather no gift.

I really, really don't think adults should expect gifts from other adults. I would happily spoil children but definitely don't think I should spoil adults

Are you healthy? Are you injured? Did you spend Christmas Even in A&E? Did you receive a diagnosis before Christmas? Did your nearest? House re-possessed? Or like one poster said - homeless and pregnant before Christmas. Not enough to be grateful for these Christmas blessings? Or would you like some bath salts as well? As a token?

About your relatives? What is their financial position? Are they spending their last meagre money to put on a buffet? Or are they stretching their finances to give you all a buffet? Has anyone thought of that? The cost of a buffet can be high and in today's economic climate it may be a challenge. I think it is an immense treat not to cook and just come and enjoy the atmosphere and the buffet. Is it not enough? Why is it not enough? Did you help prepare the buffet or just came and enjoyed it and it was not enough?

I haven't received a present since DS was born. I think the transformation from being a person into a mum that did it!

Send them a pack of sausage rolls for their birthday

I mean did you even enjoy the buffet?

I'm sorry you're feeling low about not receiving gifts.

If it's any consolation, you are definitely not alone; there was another thread yesterday where quite a few people (me included) said they didn't get any presents. Others were lucky enough to receive dozens of gifts. But then if you look around other threads, you'll also see plenty of people moaning about being given a load of old tat... All things considered I'd rather buy myself something nice than be given stuff I hate (which always happened when we still had family).

The idea of a buffet as a gift does sound very weird though, and I'd be inclined to make my own Christmas next year and not bother going.

Are your parents financially struggling? Or just mean and very weird?

I didn't get anything either. Xmas is pretty pointless these days. Glad it will soon be over.

Who did you give gifts to?
Did you partner not get you anything?

Christmas is too commercial. This wouldn't bother me at all. Did you have an agreement that there would be no gifts? To me, this time of year is about togetherness and unwinding. For others, it's about the birth of Christ. It's not about stuff, which will inevitably go into landfill. I'd be thrilled if someone did all the cooking for me!

I agree. It's much more effort to prepare a buffet than it is to buy something. The effort would mean more to me than stuff.

Did your parents give gifts to your sibs/grandchildren? I mean, I would bring food to share but no future gifts. My mum told me she’d pay for my £9 meal when we went out to the pub, 15 or so of us, for my birthday. I was slightly gobsmacked. I always get her thoughtful gifts. She has over £150K in the bank, no mortgage etc. She’s become incredibly mean since my dad died, or maybe she’s always been this way but dad was the generous one?

I also didn’t get anything from family (parents, siblings + partners + kids), and am a single sole parent of an autistic 8 year old - so I knew beforehand that it would be the case, as it has been every Christmas for years now. If my child didn’t love all things Christmas, I wouldn’t put myself through it.
Hugs!