How much easier my life would be if I just sent my DD to the local state primary

[abgah]

At the moment she's at a private primary school.

The local state primary in my village is within walking distance.. it has an ofsted ' good ' rating.

The class size is of course 30 children per class. In DDs private primary, there are 15 children per class.

We made the decision to send her to private school because we thought she'd massively benefit from smaller class size and will enjoy better facilities.

But it's such a stress to send her there, mainly because it's 30 minutes away due to traffic really. I leave the house before 8 and I'm not back until after 9 in the mornings and the same in the evenings. It's absolutely exhausting.

I have recently started a job working from the office and getting back to pick her up is very stressful. My every day is massively stressful. I pay someone to drop her off on the mornings I go to work in the office but I do all the pickups.

It's just a huge stress but she's really thriving and loves her school so much. This is not even considering the huge financial burden it is on us to send her there.

I just keep going past the local primary school and thinking, is this going to be something I look back on and regret ? It's such a huge stress on us. I hope it will be worth it.

She goes to one of the through schools and we chose it for that reason, so she can stay on for secondary school more easily.

Are any parents in similar positions or have been in similar positions ? We really are just trying to do the best for her, no matter what the sacrifice. Like all parents are.

I wouldn't bother going private for primary to be honest, use the money to pay for private tuition, extra circular activities, saving for secondary (where private makes more of a difference) etc.

Added bonus of good local school is play dates that don’t require 30minute drives. Birthday parties that don’t require 30min drives.

I’d move schools. We’ve done the whole way through private. A good education and lots of sport but add-ons could have helped with this. The £10,000 a term for senior year's has been a nightmare. We have a scruffy house, very cheap holidays and most clothes from TK Maxx!
Now dc heading to University I realise the whole of the superb local comprehensive gets a contextual ( lower grade) offer for University as its apparently in a poor area!

She's 3 years old ! Do you mean pre-school?

It sounds like a school selling/justifying their work for the money because the ly know you are paying because you want the best and expect a personal service and want to see value for spending money. What support is she actually receiving in thst sentence?

Think about it, they know saying "X is settling in really well in her first year, getting used to the class routines and is developing her confidence to answer questions in class".

That's basically the same thing, except the focus on the latter is on the child meeting expectations, the former is on the school helping to meet expectations.

The vast majority of the British population send their children to ordinary schools and somehow these children do well and achieve, are happy, make friends and find crucial support. You aren't helping your child as much as you hope you are by sending her so far away from the chance to make local friends and be a normal child. Just send her to her local school and everyone can relax and get on with life.

Primary isn’t worth it in my opinion. The benefits of private kick in in secondary.

If she’s in wraparound care till 6pm every day and she’s only in year one, I think the small class sizes are kind of irrelevant, OP. As, in the nicest way, that’s such an overwhelmingly long school week for her.

One of the reasons we chose state primary is because our kids would have needed daily wraparound care too (while we’d be working late to pay off the bloody fees!) which to me kind of negates the idea of small class sizes being low stress. With mine in state, my kids can come home sooner, and I can do a couple of shorter working days so they don’t need any wraparound at all.

She's nearly 5.

I work in state primary and would not send my child to one.
Under-funded and a plethora of behaviour and emotional issues. Don’t let OFSTED ‘good’ fool you.
If you can find a way around it, I personally would O.P.

My daughter is in a good state primary school with 36 in theory in her class ...in theory ...that's only registration and in the playground...she is usually in either a class of 4 or 16 as they split the class for lessons....it's amazing and works so well. Lots of children to choose to be friends with. Paying for primary isn't worth it... secondary yes if you can afford it. I love walking my dd to school and walking back with other mums and children at my dd school...my daughter knows all the local children now. I love the walk as we talk if not walking with other people, we see the seasons change and she learnt the walk back, kept healthy and learnt about traffic and crossing the road. I'd walk over driving to school every single time. Your journey sounds very stressful

If you're already exhausted with it, imagine another 5 years!

If you have money for private school, then you'll be able to spend money on extra tuition if and when required. Sometimes it's in everyone's best interest to simplify life.

Several of the mums my dd at school with teach primary and every single one of them send them to state primary not private. Not heard anyone say that as a teacher until you.

Getting back home at 9am is surely not a problem. It's the same for most of us. Half an hour travelling is not a big deal either - when you are not working.

Now you have a job presumably your designated hours in the office allow for you leaving in time for pick up. Is there anyone else who could do it in an emergency?

You don't say how old your daughter is. If she is only five, she could transfer to the primary school as it is a good one. If she's older, it might be disruptive for her so you have to weigh up pros and cons,

Let's hope she gets a grammar place when she is eleven.

I'd say the learning to take turns is pretty standard in a report for a Reception child. I have experience in private and state schools as a teacher and I would not send my DCs to a private primary where I live. Private secondary, possibly if I could afford it easily, depending on what my DCs wanted to do and where they interests lie, (hypothetical as my DCs are grown up now, but they did state throughout and did well).
I think it is such a lot of money for an education that is pretty similar for primary pupils in state or private. Obviously arguments for an against etc., but from my experience, the stimulus/nurture at home definitely has the biggest impact on a child's development, growing intellect and attitude in school.
The commute sounds horrendous OP and is clearly stressful and you've said it would be life changing if you moved her so I think you've kind of answered your own question!
I'd move her and then consider ext steps when she reaches Y5 depending on how she is doing and what the state secondary school looks like.
Just think how much money you will be able to save! You could have a fantastic Uni pot for DD and/or house deposit for them and enjoy some amazing holidays with the money you would have spent otherwise.
Lots to think about!

Ehm I am working and have always worked. Full time. Now I'm required in office 3 times a week. She's nearly 5.

We sent our two to a private primary for a few years because we moved house in late August and couldn’t get a state primary place. My son did two years and my daughter did four. It was a nice school and they met some nice people but they did not benefit academically in my opinion. In fact once they started (state) secondary, I realised the teaching hadn’t been great. I would say check out the local state primaries. I think the walk to school and being close to all their friends is a lovely part of being at primary school! And I’m sure you’ll find a private school place for secondary if you still want one.

Geographically closest school always.

Can you move? I would love rather move or pay a nanny or childminder thab pull her out of school now (leaving state vs primary argument aside but most kids do much better in smaller class sizes). Any parents near you to share lifts with? A school bus?

Most private secondaries you have to pass an exam to enter.

Very much depends on what the 11+ is like. If it's horriffic like it is in some bits of London, then avoiding it is very sensible.

@Londonrach1 my DC go to state secondary and went to state primary. I always had guilt around not being able to afford private education.
If you’d asked me 10 years ago, I would have defended state education all the way. I witness first hand the lack of resources and people.
However, I imagine the part of the country you’re in makes a difference…

Most teachers can't afford it. I would get a 50% discount at my school, and I still can't afford it for 2 kids.

We didn't pay for primary and DS got into the grammar, so I wouldn't necessarily agree with this.

I am indeed in a tricky area for 11 +