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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you check you can get home?

214 replies

Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 08:26

A colleague/ friend came over for Christmas. Arrived Christmas eve and was meant to leave today.

They're a pleasant enough person but we aren't good friends so it's not as relaxing as it might be having them around. Before they arrived we agreed they'd come Christmas eve and leave boxing day - explained we already had plans both 24th and 26th for all day visits with family, all was fine.

They arrived Christmas eve and all has been well however when we discussed returning home, they didn't know what time their train was on boxing day (we were working out the best way to get them to the station). So they looked up train times, apparently for the first time since deciding to join us for Christmas! And lo and behold, there's no trains on boxing day.

I'd have thought it was fairly standard to check both sides of a train journey before departure? Now they're hanging around an empty house they don't know all day! Nothing within walking distance is open today so they literally have nothing to do!

Aibu to think you check you can get home before you set off?

OP posts:
Neveranynamesleft · 26/12/2024 08:27

Of course they should have checked, you're being very generous letting them stay. Is there no bus / coach service either ??

ChronicallySleepy · 26/12/2024 08:39

Of course YANBU! I'd be absolutely fuming and certainly wouldn't be leaving them in my home whilst I went out for the day. Last thing I'd want after spending the day with family is to come home to someone I'm not overly close to being there.

Is a taxi not an option? No hotels nearby?

pinotnow · 26/12/2024 08:48

Obviously you're not being unreasonable in that they should have checked the trains beforehand but I don't understand why you have had them to stay over Christmas if you don't like them much. Also, you sound more concerned about what they will do with themselves today than the impact on you. I would hate to have a guest unexpectedly stay longer than planned but entertaining myself in someone else's empty house would not be a problem at all- I'd have my phone, kindle, presumably you have books and a TV with some package or other etc etc. Not saying I'd do what they have done but I don't see why you're worried about what they'll do all day.

Original poster
Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 09:02

pinotnow · 26/12/2024 08:48

Obviously you're not being unreasonable in that they should have checked the trains beforehand but I don't understand why you have had them to stay over Christmas if you don't like them much. Also, you sound more concerned about what they will do with themselves today than the impact on you. I would hate to have a guest unexpectedly stay longer than planned but entertaining myself in someone else's empty house would not be a problem at all- I'd have my phone, kindle, presumably you have books and a TV with some package or other etc etc. Not saying I'd do what they have done but I don't see why you're worried about what they'll do all day.

We had a house full yesterday, so one more person wasn't an issue. A few stayed over and are leaving shortly (driving) and a few only came for the day so have another person we expected to leave this morning really wasn't an issue at all. I do like them, but it's a relatively new friendship and due to them living far away, it's only the 3rd time of meeting them in person.

I'm just going to be ready "peopled out" by this evening and was looking forward to putting the kids to bed and having some 1:1 time with DH.

Re then entertaining themselves today, it just seems odd to me to have a house guest and leave them to their own devices for 12 hours!

A taxi isn't an option, even if we could find one that would do the journey it's going to be hideously expensive. And I just feel rude asking them to get a hotel!

If they'd have known they couldn't leave until tomorrow, I would have been ok with it - it's the changing of plans and expectations/ shift of head space etc that's throwing me!

OP posts:
EBearhug · 26/12/2024 09:10

Do they never usually travel by train? You'd always want to check for engineering works and the like, particularly over a weekend or Bank Holiday period. It's not new that trains don't run on Christmas.

yesyellow · 26/12/2024 09:16

I'd be thinking that they already checked and engineered this situation to gain access to your property while you are absent. No way would I be leaving someone in my home unsupervised when I'd only met them 3 times! They'd have full access to your passport, bank statements, jewellery, computer/tablets with passwords saved. If it were me I would be telling them to make their way home another way, but I live in London where an alternative would always be available even if it was expensive or inconvenient.

Runnersandtoms · 26/12/2024 09:22

How did you end up with someone you're not that good friends with spending Xmas with you?? In my world Christmas is spent only with family or maybe very close friends and travel and overnight plans would have been talked through beforehand.

rainbowstardrops · 26/12/2024 09:23

Well I'd have checked train times etc, so that bit is weird!
Why are you leaving them for 12 hours today though? Could they not have tagged along with you? I'd feel uneasy about leaving a person I've only met three times in my house alone.

ARealitycheck · 26/12/2024 09:24

Are any of the guests leaving today heading the same direction?

Justsayit123 · 26/12/2024 09:25

Check the first train and drop them off at station in morning.

Didimum · 26/12/2024 09:26

How did you think thru we’re getting home, OP? Sounds like you didn’t realise there were no trains on Boxing Day either!

TheirLastRolo · 26/12/2024 09:28

I thought it was common knowledge trains didn't run on boxing day? How did you think they were getting home?

itsmylife7 · 26/12/2024 09:34

Common sense so rare it's like a superpower.

I recently saw this printed on a t shirt and 100% agree.

lillylallylu · 26/12/2024 09:38

why is a random person from work you've only met three times, staying with you for christmas? I'm assuming they have no family and you felt sorry for them or something?

HardenYourHeart · 26/12/2024 09:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

PinkyFlamingo · 26/12/2024 09:43

How on earth did you invite someone you've only met 3 times for Christmas dinner! Mad

Butchyrestingface · 26/12/2024 09:43

There was someone who started a thread on here just before Xmas whose flatber was gasted that the trains didn’t run in her area on Christmas Day, let alone Boxing Day.

A couple of contributors seemed to be equally unaware. So yes, people should check, but OP’s guest is not alone in making assumptions.

poemsandwine · 26/12/2024 09:43

How did you end up with someone you're not that good friends with spending Xmas with you?

This is the weird bit. Tell them to get a hotel. Having no common sense is on them.

EDIT: Are you allowing them to stay at your home when you're not there? Did I read that right? I find that really strange, too, when you don't know them well. Does this adult have no idea about how to deal with the world?

Nameychangington · 26/12/2024 09:45

You asked someone from work you'd only met twice to stay over on Christmas day? Blimey.

Shinyandnew1 · 26/12/2024 09:46

I think it’s really odd inviting a colleague who lives far away that you’ve only met three times to come and stay over Xmas!

I certainly wouldn’t be happy about leaving them in my house alone for 12 hours.

Bournetilly · 26/12/2024 09:46

I would of thought trains ran on Boxing Day but would obviously check if I was relying on one.

How far away do they live? I think it would be fine to ask them to get a taxi/ book a hotel but would prepare for the friendship to be over as they might not be happy about this.

Original poster
Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 09:46

rainbowstardrops · 26/12/2024 09:23

Well I'd have checked train times etc, so that bit is weird!
Why are you leaving them for 12 hours today though? Could they not have tagged along with you? I'd feel uneasy about leaving a person I've only met three times in my house alone.

Well what's weirder, leaving them alone in my house or dragging them along to various relatives houses all day?

OP posts:
MerrilyOnhigh · 26/12/2024 09:47

Have you investigated buses and coaches?

Bookaholic73 · 26/12/2024 09:48

Depending on how far away they live, I’d offer to drive them home.
I’d rather that than them stay another night.

Beenaboutabit · 26/12/2024 09:49

I made this mistake years ago. Hosted a big Christmas meal, invited people to stay for Christmas, then neither they nor I realised there were no trains at all on Boxing Day even though I mostly travel by public transport. So, they stayed an extra night when I was ready for winding down. But it can’t be helped and you live and learn. Put it down to experience.

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