To think you check you can get home?

[Ayechinnyreckon]

A colleague/ friend came over for Christmas. Arrived Christmas eve and was meant to leave today.

They're a pleasant enough person but we aren't good friends so it's not as relaxing as it might be having them around. Before they arrived we agreed they'd come Christmas eve and leave boxing day - explained we already had plans both 24th and 26th for all day visits with family, all was fine.

They arrived Christmas eve and all has been well however when we discussed returning home, they didn't know what time their train was on boxing day (we were working out the best way to get them to the station). So they looked up train times, apparently for the first time since deciding to join us for Christmas! And lo and behold, there's no trains on boxing day.

I'd have thought it was fairly standard to check both sides of a train journey before departure? Now they're hanging around an empty house they don't know all day! Nothing within walking distance is open today so they literally have nothing to do!

Aibu to think you check you can get home before you set off?

But that poster seemed unused to travelling by train. As this person came by train they presumably don’t have a car and surely use the trains fairly often. Honestly i think you’d have to have been living under a stone for decades not to realise you have to check the trains over Christmas

I had assumed trains ran on boxing day, but I never travel by train so didn't really think much of it to be honest.

I work for a fully remote company so my colleagues live around the country. I speak to them everyday and we text outside of work etc. they're also DHs colleague and friend. They live 3+ hours away from us so not seeing them in person isn't that weird.

We didn't have a single family member round yesterday, but did have 5 kids and 6 adults in addition to us!

Are they from overseas? We host relatives, work colleagues and overseas students on and off and have found that train timetables and Boxing Day closures catch a lot of people out - especially if they are used to living in another country that doesn't shut down over Christmas.

It is a pain in the proverbial, but we make it very clear that we can't change our plans and they are happy to join us or stay home. Depends on the person, what they choose to do. Over the years we have learned to keep magazines, leaflets on walking routes, books, WiFi codes and details of the TV schedules etc in the spare room for such guests 😆 Extreme, I know, but once I stop hosting I don't expect to look after them! They have to be self sufficient!

(Oh and edited to add I think it is very kind to host someone you are not familiar with, my guess is they would have been on their own for the day. I am sure the appreciate it and are just as nonplussed as you are!)

I think I would drag them round the various relatives houses rather than leaving them alone in my house all day.
Do they seem embarrassed by it all? Could they have engineered this? Either way it’s quite sad really, annoying for you but in a way worse for them .
But I do get you wanting some downtime. I’d be announcing an early night tonight!

National express are running today. I’d be dropping them off at the nearest pick up point.

The coaches run, get a coach.

Well neither in my world!
I'd be directing them to the nearest Premier Inn.

No..I've been busy hosting. I wore this whilst watching the kids in the bath this morning, it's the first space I've had. I'm now on my way to relatives.

This! Or a coach station. How is it your problem? I don’t get that.

OP you sound like this strange person staying over at your house on Christmas Day is just one of those things that happens, nothing you can do about it, not your issue.

What an odd situation. Are you a bit of a people pleaser OP?

have you left them at home then? what's the story with them staying at yours? Are they without family?

This! I cannot comprehend this! How did this come about @Ayechinnyreckon you are sounding as odd as your guest to be honest 😅

Why didn’t someone who was driving offer to give them a lift?

Ok, you sound like me and how I view Christmas!

They aren't from overseas but their remaining family are now overseas.

I don't not trust them, I think they just didn't think trains wouldn't be running.

3 hours each way, I’d probably set off early evening and drop them home or to the nearest place they can get themselves home from. They have no one who can meet half way?

Because they live nowhere near them and don't know them! It's a 6 hours round trip from ours.

Is it just me who thinks they probably did check but realised it meant they wouldn’t have been able to come, so it’s kept quiet?

Yanbu, we are out seeing more family today which will be lovely, but also can’t wait to come home, get DC in bed and open a bottle of wine with DH in peace. No hosting.

They're a pleasant enough person but we aren't good friends so it's not as relaxing as it might be having them around.

Why is this person even there to begin with? It sounds like you weren’t very keen.

Well I’ve just looked at the National Rail website and it says that minimal trains are running today due to engineering works, which a) shows that there ARE at least some trains running and b) suggests that, some years, there are more services.

In any case, I don’t see why you are trying to put the blame on the OP here. If a guest tells you “I am getting a train home on Boxing Day”, you assume they’ve checked that’s possible. OP’s guest is not a child.

Try to chill out about this OP. You will get home, put the kids to bed, make a sandwich and put on a film then all have an early night and drop your guest at the station first thing.

I think it happens more than people expect. We have always had an open door policy for guests at Christmas and other odd times throughout the year. But there has to be boundaries and ours is, "you can stay but after the festivities you sort yourself out and I absolutely need you gone by such and such a date and you may need to check x timetable etc etc". For the overseas students/colleagues we used to have an email we would send out in advance with details too... I need to dig it out actually as we will have a Chinese student in the New Year. But it saves any hint of miscommunication. We have learnt this by trial and error it has to be said! And there have been some cringe/awkward moments in the process 😄

Might be too late to sort a coach but just enjoy your day. Am sure your guest will be fine and may also be enjoying the quiet.

This 💯
I wouldn't be a bit happy leaving them to their own devices in my home for hours when I'm out visiting family.

I'd have expected them to get an airbnb near train station, ready for tomorrow

So to answer a few questions.

They have very limited family. The two family members they do have are currently overseas (one lives abroad and the other is visiting their partners relatives for the Christmas period). I've known them for about 18months, and DH has known them about 2 years.

We haven't met up much because it's simply not practical given the distance. The 3 times we've met have been work related but we've had lich/ dinner and drinks etc after each time. I've been to their house once.

When we invited them it was quite off the cuff but we were hosting other friends as well, so not as odd as it seems - it's not as if it was just me, DH, the kids and work colleague!

They've been an excellent guest, brought pigs in blankets and stuffing balls from an excellent butcher local to them, thoughtful gifts for us all, mead and wine, and a cheese platter from a local deli. They're been helpful and done washing up/ veg prep etc, played with overexcited sugared up kids.

So yeah, I've left them at home with the dog. They're getting the early train in the morning (they're supposed to be working). It's all booked now. They're very apologetic.

If I'd known the train was on 27th I wouldn't have minded but would have been more mentally prepared!