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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think you check you can get home?

214 replies

Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 08:26

A colleague/ friend came over for Christmas. Arrived Christmas eve and was meant to leave today.

They're a pleasant enough person but we aren't good friends so it's not as relaxing as it might be having them around. Before they arrived we agreed they'd come Christmas eve and leave boxing day - explained we already had plans both 24th and 26th for all day visits with family, all was fine.

They arrived Christmas eve and all has been well however when we discussed returning home, they didn't know what time their train was on boxing day (we were working out the best way to get them to the station). So they looked up train times, apparently for the first time since deciding to join us for Christmas! And lo and behold, there's no trains on boxing day.

I'd have thought it was fairly standard to check both sides of a train journey before departure? Now they're hanging around an empty house they don't know all day! Nothing within walking distance is open today so they literally have nothing to do!

Aibu to think you check you can get home before you set off?

OP posts:
ExpressCheckout · 26/12/2024 11:15

No trains on Boxing Day is the norm and thanks to RMT, ASLEF and the Labour government, there are hardly any on a Sunday either.

HardenYourHeart · 26/12/2024 11:19

Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 10:09

So to answer a few questions.

They have very limited family. The two family members they do have are currently overseas (one lives abroad and the other is visiting their partners relatives for the Christmas period). I've known them for about 18months, and DH has known them about 2 years.

We haven't met up much because it's simply not practical given the distance. The 3 times we've met have been work related but we've had lich/ dinner and drinks etc after each time. I've been to their house once.

When we invited them it was quite off the cuff but we were hosting other friends as well, so not as odd as it seems - it's not as if it was just me, DH, the kids and work colleague!

They've been an excellent guest, brought pigs in blankets and stuffing balls from an excellent butcher local to them, thoughtful gifts for us all, mead and wine, and a cheese platter from a local deli. They're been helpful and done washing up/ veg prep etc, played with overexcited sugared up kids.

So yeah, I've left them at home with the dog. They're getting the early train in the morning (they're supposed to be working). It's all booked now. They're very apologetic.

If I'd known the train was on 27th I wouldn't have minded but would have been more mentally prepared!

OP, from reading that I retract my earlier statement of just dropping them somewhere. It seems like they were genuinely caught out. I have a habit of booking my whole trip before I even leave the house, but you can still buy tickets at train stations, so I get not everyone does it that way.

TheBlueUser · 26/12/2024 11:21

OP I think you sound like a wonderfully kind person, and your friend sounds as if they are very grateful that you invited them, and you've given them a nice Christmas instead of them being sat on their own.

Christmas is supposed to be about giving - and half these posters would have you chuck someone out on the street when it's only a minor inconvenience for you to have them stay.

It is a bit strange they didn't check the train times, but I can see why someone would just assume they were running. Lots of stuff is open as normal on boxing day.

You don't need to be in 'host' mode when you get home tonight, you can text friend that you wont be cooking so they can just feed themselves from leftovers / freezer food. And pre warn them you will be going to bed early / slobbing on the sofa if you feel the need!

Zanatdy · 26/12/2024 11:21

They should have checked, but it’s always been the case no trains on boxing day

BigSilly · 26/12/2024 11:22

I think they just made an honest mistake because they are human.
You are out all day so they will pay the price

BigSilly · 26/12/2024 11:23

Dancinghedgehog · 26/12/2024 09:52

National express are running today. I’d be dropping them off at the nearest pick up point.

I imagine if the trains aren't running they miayy be full

Whattheduck · 26/12/2024 11:25

Where are you based op

Snowmanscarf · 26/12/2024 11:27

They even announced on Radio 2 that trains wouldn’t be running!

Regardless of that, it’s normal to check train travel so you can let your hosts know regarding food, lifts to station etc.

Clearinguptheclutter · 26/12/2024 11:28

Very odd that they didn’t check the train times. I thought it was common knowledge that there are a. No trains on Boxing Day and b. The whole of the festive season can be a disaster for trains with engineering works etc. The control freak in me would have wanted to know exactly what time they were leaving before they arrived, but that’s just me.

anyway If you are happy to leave them at home to dog sit (presumably the dog is happy) then that’s the best situation. I think trying to make them find their own way home on Boxing Day would be mean but they are a bit daft to have assumed it would be ok in the first place.

Shinyandnew1 · 26/12/2024 11:33

You sound a lovely host.

I think it’s most odd to not check a train journey though. Firstly, I’d want to know how much it was (train journeys can sometimes be extortionate if not booked loads in advance) but if I was travelling on Boxing day, my first thought would be, ‘I’d better check there is actually a train running on that day!’

Azandme · 26/12/2024 11:35

So many stone cold cynics on this thread!

Chuck them out, drop them at a hotel, stick them on a bus with ten changes...

Not really the Christmas spirit is it 😕.

I'd be like you op, a little miffed I didn't get my down time, but would get over it and crack on. There is no way I'd turf someone out if they were stuck. It would be leftovers and party snacks for dinner, and something on TV with wine for the evening as planned, but they would be welcome and included.

It's Christmas, if an innkeeper can make room for a woman in labour, we can house a thoughtful and considerate house guest for an accidental extra night.

lionloaf · 26/12/2024 11:39

This would put me off a friendship with them to be honest.

Squirrelblanket · 26/12/2024 11:40

We had a kind of similar situation many years ago with my sister. She came to stay with us for Christmas and the plan was that she would join us at the in laws on boxing day. On boxing day morning, she decided that she was 'not in the mood to be sociable' and wanted to go home. We dropped her at the train station and set off to the in laws, only to receive a panicked phone call asking us to come back and get her because there were no trains. She still refused to come to the in laws with us so we had to drive back home and leave her there. She got a train back the next morning and put the keys through the letter box for when we got back. It was really annoying. But that was how I learned there are no trains on boxing day!

Also, on NYE I discovered that while we were away she'd eaten the nice party food I'd had in the freezer for NYE. We didn't invite her again!

Wheresthebeach · 26/12/2024 11:41

I think is reasonable to assume the trains would be running if you’ve no experience. You can fly every day of the year, buses run…would I have checked? Yes…but my DD would check on the day.

YourGladSquid · 26/12/2024 11:41

Azandme · 26/12/2024 11:35

So many stone cold cynics on this thread!

Chuck them out, drop them at a hotel, stick them on a bus with ten changes...

Not really the Christmas spirit is it 😕.

I'd be like you op, a little miffed I didn't get my down time, but would get over it and crack on. There is no way I'd turf someone out if they were stuck. It would be leftovers and party snacks for dinner, and something on TV with wine for the evening as planned, but they would be welcome and included.

It's Christmas, if an innkeeper can make room for a woman in labour, we can house a thoughtful and considerate house guest for an accidental extra night.

Edited

To be fair in that part of the world (or anywhere more southern) this wouldn’t even be a problem to begin with lol a guest wouldn’t be treated like a disturbance

this is just awkward Britishness at its peak

Christmasandallthetrimmings · 26/12/2024 11:46

I don't know anyone I could invite over and would bring such lovely thoughtful additions to Christmas dinner, help out with prep etc AND keep the kids entertained. I would hold onto this person OP, they sound great. No-one is perfect. I use the buses all the time and one Christmas my dad came over and neither of us realised the buses weren't running boxing day until the day before, when he looked up the times. He was an arse and refused to even help me dish up, and I'm a single mum and my daughter was only three and he barely paid her any attention whilst I was trying to cook. So I had to endure him for an extra day. A pleasant, thoughtful person for one extra night isn't going to hurt you in the long run. I wouldn't let this one faux par (which I bet they're super embarrassed about) taint your positive experience with them. It's just not a day people are used to travelling a lot, or often enough for it to stay in the conscious! I mean, you also assumed the trains would be running by expecting them to leave that day.

LBFseBrom · 26/12/2024 11:59

I agree and she should have checked beforehand. Can she be dropped off anywhere that there is a bus or something, can she afford a taxi? I know most cab firms are not charing extra for Christmas.

MathsFiend · 26/12/2024 12:02

Not sure why people keep banging on about there never being trains running on boxing day, there are trains running where I live so it's not true everywhere.

TwoSwansFromMyWindow · 26/12/2024 12:04

I do like them, but it's a relatively new friendship and due to them living far away, it's only the 3rd time of meeting them in person.

And you invited them for Christmas? Not just for Christmas dinner, but to stay over for two nights? Wow. You are truly the spirit of Christmas and a better person than me, but WHY???

The fact that you don't know them that well is why you feel so awkward now. You don't want them tagging along with you for the day but you feel uncomfortable about leaving them in your house alone all day too. If it was someone you knew and trusted better you'd be more relaxed about that.

I suspect they possibly did know there were no trains, but were angling to either stay longer or cadge a lift home.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 26/12/2024 12:10

whatwouldyoudoifisangoutofkey · 26/12/2024 10:16

@SoNiceToComeHomeTo I meant to click on the "agree" button , but missed and got "funny"

No problem (I was intrigued as to what I'd said that was funny!) but for future reference you can just click your emoji and then change it. At least you can on my computer.

TwoSwansFromMyWindow · 26/12/2024 12:10

MathsFiend · 26/12/2024 12:02

Not sure why people keep banging on about there never being trains running on boxing day, there are trains running where I live so it's not true everywhere.

Are you in the UK? I thought it was pretty standard for trains in England at least to stop fairly early on Christmas Eve and not start again until the 27th.

MyDeftDuck · 26/12/2024 12:11

I am just puzzled why the OP had someone stay over Christmas who they obviously don't like

Original poster
Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 12:13

TwoSwansFromMyWindow · 26/12/2024 12:04

I do like them, but it's a relatively new friendship and due to them living far away, it's only the 3rd time of meeting them in person.

And you invited them for Christmas? Not just for Christmas dinner, but to stay over for two nights? Wow. You are truly the spirit of Christmas and a better person than me, but WHY???

The fact that you don't know them that well is why you feel so awkward now. You don't want them tagging along with you for the day but you feel uncomfortable about leaving them in your house alone all day too. If it was someone you knew and trusted better you'd be more relaxed about that.

I suspect they possibly did know there were no trains, but were angling to either stay longer or cadge a lift home.

I don't want them tagging along with me now because it's incredibly rude to turn up to your hosts home with an extra adult! Who they've not catered for.

OP posts:
PokerFriedDips · 26/12/2024 12:13

MathsFiend · 26/12/2024 12:02

Not sure why people keep banging on about there never being trains running on boxing day, there are trains running where I live so it's not true everywhere.

Google the phrase "what trains are running on boxing day" and you get many many pages agreeing that there are no trains on boxing day unless you happen to live along the route of an airport transfer service - do you happen to live near Gatwick or Stansted @MathsFiend? The vast majority of national service routes and local networks schedule major engineering works on Boxing Day so that they can happen with minimal business disruption.

ilovepixie · 26/12/2024 12:16

How many people did you have for Christmas! And what size is your house!