To think you check you can get home?

[Ayechinnyreckon]

A colleague/ friend came over for Christmas. Arrived Christmas eve and was meant to leave today.

They're a pleasant enough person but we aren't good friends so it's not as relaxing as it might be having them around. Before they arrived we agreed they'd come Christmas eve and leave boxing day - explained we already had plans both 24th and 26th for all day visits with family, all was fine.

They arrived Christmas eve and all has been well however when we discussed returning home, they didn't know what time their train was on boxing day (we were working out the best way to get them to the station). So they looked up train times, apparently for the first time since deciding to join us for Christmas! And lo and behold, there's no trains on boxing day.

I'd have thought it was fairly standard to check both sides of a train journey before departure? Now they're hanging around an empty house they don't know all day! Nothing within walking distance is open today so they literally have nothing to do!

Aibu to think you check you can get home before you set off?

There should be a rail replacement service. Is there a bus service? I think, get them to pack and work it out yourself. Even if it’s a 10 hour journey with multiple changes, they need to leave.

Goodness what a lot of mean spirited responses. Such incredulity that someone should add a presumably lone person to share festivities with a number of people.
They're not close friends! The horror!!
Leaving them alone in your home, unthinkable!
OP you sound very thoughtful, thank goodness there are still people like you around.

Yea to this^. Some people live very sheltered lives so it does happen.

When I’m inviting someone I usually check myself how can they arrive/ leave, just to get myself a rough idea how it might affect me.

You sound like a super lovely person.

@SoNiceToComeHomeTo I meant to click on the "agree" button , but missed and got "funny"

Nailed it. I bet guest checked, and realised either be alone on Xmas day or outstay the welcome at OPs, and chose the latter. Which was best for guest, but not for OP.

Maybe worth considering, going forward on the friendship, that guest may have decided their preference outweighs your inconvenience OP.

It's not really the OPs responsibility to sort out their journey, I wouldn't expect to organise a guests journey for them. Do you expect hosts to do that for you whenever you go somewhere? Why wouldn't you do it yourself?

So have you gone out and left them at your house OP? That wouldn't sit well with me.

Trains don't run on Chr Day or Boxing Day – the reason I know this is that DH always has to drive to the match on B Day rather than his usual method of train.

I find it astonishing that this guest who I presume doesn't drive, didn't check this, if they didn't happen to know. Could you not drop them to the nearest coach station - coaches run on B Day.

Edited to add: sorry I missed the OP's update, you do sound like a nicer person than me! Hope you have a nice day and can relax a bit this evening.

Trains normally run later in the day on boxing day, or at least they do in this area, not all train companies run the same

You’re lovely OP. And I completely get the ‘wanting to be prepared in my head’ part. Anyway, you get someone to sit with / walk the dog! There’s a positive…

Seconded. It was lovely of you to invite this person OP.

Yanbu to expect them to know this, but it's common knowledge to absolutely everyone without a car who doesn't always just sit at home alone all Christmas that there are never any trains on boxing day and never have been. We have people in our wider family who don't drive and everyone in the family knows that wherever that cluster are on Christmas eve they are definitely there until the 27th, no other options.

Do people really let others be alone over Christmas unless they are adamant that this is what they want?
The OP is lovely - so generous - and I find hosting stressful too so I get it. Have to say though this sounds like a dream guest. I bet she will have finished the washing up and final bits by the time you get home!

It wouldn't bother me leaving them alone in my house, if it was someone I'd invited for Christmas day.

Public transport on bank holidays is a joke though, it's why I'd never give up my car.

Yes I suspect they realised when booking their ticket as you would select a return on the app and it would ask you when you wanted to come back and tell you there were no trains that day.

OP says the person is supposed to be working tomorrow too so they will probably not get home and online for a 9am start. Another reason to keep quiet and pretend you just hadn't realised there were no trains today.

It does sound like they were a lovely guest though and OP doesn't mind too much them staying till tomorrow.

I sould never have left strangers alone with my dog. I have loads of online friends but I don't fell that they are friends I would entrust mt dog to.

You and your DH sound like a kind and fairly chilled couple and the visitor sounds like a considerate and grateful guest. Yes, the guest should have checked and made sure of their return travel plans, but it sounds as though they will be fine on their own and will certainly not be turning the place over like some have suggested, they might even run the hoover round for you.

No, I don't massively mind. Had they told me they couldn't get home until the 27th I'd have been absolutely fine with that, but would have made plans with family tomorrow instead and gone for a country walk or such today instead.

I just find it really odd that a person wouldn't check both ends of the journey! I genuinely don't think they did it deliberately because of how I invited them - it was a "let me know when you'll be going home so I can plan" and they then told me Xmas eve to boxing day a bit later ( I assumed they checked!).

You wouldn’t continue a friendship with someone who didn’t realise there weren’t trains on Boxing Day 😂 OK.

I didn’t say it was OP’s responsibility. I said if OP didn’t realise there weren’t trains were, then it’s not an unreasonable assumption for her guests to have also made.

Coaches are not typical and OP says there are no taxis, so it’s its normal to enquire how your guests are travelling home – expected even. I would have definitely checked that they had travel back home sorted as I would care about one of my guests.

A bit odd to think " oh well, no trains, so that's that". Without looking at national coaches & bus options next.
It does also seem like this person probably knew all along as anyone would check, but was afraid to ask if another day would be an option for fear of you saying no. Embarrassed and shy, combined with not wanting to be alone at Christmas I should think. Some people who wfh, do so as it suits their personality- are a tad odd with their social skills ( some, not all, before someone jumps down my throat).

Sounds like a reasonable assumption to have made then if you did too.

I agree.

I didn’t say she should have organised it their journey or that’s she’s responsible for it. But OP did think trains were running so it’s an understandable assumption to make.

Yes, when I have guests I make sure they have a safe and reasonable journey home as I care about their travel to and from my home. I live rurally and I appreciate the journey they’ve made.

@Genevieva Even if it’s a 10 hour journey with multiple changes, they need to leave.

lmao this is so unhinged

Couldn't you take them to a hotel?