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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think you check you can get home?

214 replies

Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 08:26

A colleague/ friend came over for Christmas. Arrived Christmas eve and was meant to leave today.

They're a pleasant enough person but we aren't good friends so it's not as relaxing as it might be having them around. Before they arrived we agreed they'd come Christmas eve and leave boxing day - explained we already had plans both 24th and 26th for all day visits with family, all was fine.

They arrived Christmas eve and all has been well however when we discussed returning home, they didn't know what time their train was on boxing day (we were working out the best way to get them to the station). So they looked up train times, apparently for the first time since deciding to join us for Christmas! And lo and behold, there's no trains on boxing day.

I'd have thought it was fairly standard to check both sides of a train journey before departure? Now they're hanging around an empty house they don't know all day! Nothing within walking distance is open today so they literally have nothing to do!

Aibu to think you check you can get home before you set off?

OP posts:
EBearhug · 26/12/2024 19:20

I'd have assumed your guest knew this because the return trip would be part of the ticket-buying process.

Round my way, you'd either buy a same day return, or an open return, valid for 30 days. I realise that might not be the same everywhere, as rail ticket pricing in the UK can be so variable.

BetsyBrowny · 26/12/2024 20:10

EBearhug · 26/12/2024 19:20

I'd have assumed your guest knew this because the return trip would be part of the ticket-buying process.

Round my way, you'd either buy a same day return, or an open return, valid for 30 days. I realise that might not be the same everywhere, as rail ticket pricing in the UK can be so variable.

Yes, an open return is available everywhere.

If they bought it in person at a ticket office, they'd be asked if they wanted an open return or a specific date, so they'd be advised about 'no trains'.

If they booked online, they would have to choose 'single' or 'return' and select open return. That's usually more expensive.

It's hard to believe they were unaware of the closure of rail lines on the 26th.

It's been 'national news for weeks leading up to Christmas.

It was hard to avoid the 'there are no trains over Christmas' on the news on radio and TV.

And there is also a lot of work being done on lines so anyone travelling is advised to check this when booking (and info is online.)

And....the website usually always says 'check for holiday dates' or check for work affecting the journey.'

redalex261 · 26/12/2024 20:32

I think it's really nice to invite someone who would otherwise be alone to Christmas lunch. If you have a biggish group one more makes no difference to the group but means a lot to the otherwise solitary person. My family have done this over the years as needed for recently bereaved/separated friends or acquaintances, teen friends who are estranged from parents. One more to ten or eight is fine.

Wouldn't be delighted at leaving someone alone in my home for hours though. This isn't because of fear of identity theft (like one poster - bizarre, if I thought they were criminal wouldn't have them in the first place) but because I hate the idea of someone idly poking through my stuff. Probably because all my family are blatant rakers!

RampantIvy · 26/12/2024 20:56

EBearhug · 26/12/2024 19:20

I'd have assumed your guest knew this because the return trip would be part of the ticket-buying process.

Round my way, you'd either buy a same day return, or an open return, valid for 30 days. I realise that might not be the same everywhere, as rail ticket pricing in the UK can be so variable.

It depends on the type of train. Local commuter train is as you describe (Northern Rail). A return trip to London would either be pre-booked times or open return. Although with an open return you risk not getting a seat.

Hedgerow2 · 26/12/2024 21:40

ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes · 26/12/2024 18:59

@Cosyblankets Can you not leave a dog for 12 hours?

Of course not 🙄

ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes · 26/12/2024 21:45

Hedgerow2 · 26/12/2024 21:40

Of course not 🙄

Show quote history

All right love, I don’t have one, was just wondering.

Hedgerow2 · 26/12/2024 22:27

@ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes - not sure you need to have a dog to know you shouldn't leave it alone for 12 hours - love.

ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes · 26/12/2024 22:36

Hedgerow2 · 26/12/2024 22:27

@ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes - not sure you need to have a dog to know you shouldn't leave it alone for 12 hours - love.

Why the fuck would I ever go out of my way to learn how to look after a dog I don’t have? 😂😂😂

Ineffable23 · 26/12/2024 22:37

I agree that I'd check if there were trains on boxing day.

But I'm totally baffled by all the people who, in those circumstances, are saying that they'd expect the person to get home/leave and stay in a hotel no matter what. I'm really not a doormat but circumstances like this call for kindness not cruelty. I'm also not Christian but what's being proposed by a lot of people is the antithesis of the spirit of Christmas.

I would understand if it was a close friend or relative and this was standard behaviour for them, but for anyone where I didn't have positive evidence to the contrary I would always rather assume things were an honest mistake. Never assume conspiracy where a cock-up can explain it.

Hedgerow2 · 26/12/2024 22:38

@ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes - you don't have to learn anything. Just engage brain.

ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes · 26/12/2024 23:08

Hedgerow2 · 26/12/2024 22:38

@ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes - you don't have to learn anything. Just engage brain.

Oh, yawn.

MerrilyOnhigh · 27/12/2024 00:33

I don't understand why they didn't check train times for coming back. It's fairly obvious that, even if there was a service operating, it wouldn't be a normal timetable, so it would be mad not to check.

Original poster
Ayechinnyreckon · 27/12/2024 18:13

Update: so we arrived home to find the TV gone, the dog escaped and our passport opens with drawers strewn across floor.

Not really.

Came home to a tidy house, dishwasher loaded. They bought us a takeaway for dinner and had left by 7 am this morning, having stripped their bed and deposited it in the utility room.

Would definitely have them to stay again!

OP posts:
pineapplesundae · 27/12/2024 18:14

They made a mistake and they’re probably embarrassed. Don’t think too badly of them.

Pixiedust88 · 27/12/2024 18:27

My SD does this. She goes to see a friend and then calls my husband or her grandad to order her a taxi because she’s got no money or other way of getting home or she calls me and asks me to pick her up. I won’t go out for her at the times she calls as my grandson who lives with us is in bed and I refuse to disrupt his routine by waking him up and taking him with me to get her (my husband works shifts past his bedtime) just because she hasn’t thought about how she’s getting home

Maddy70 · 27/12/2024 18:54

I dunno. Transport where I live is good and reliable. It wouldn't occur to me to check tbh as it's 24 hr service here

Minc · 27/12/2024 19:06

Why are you having an acquaintance as a house guest over Christmas?

EternalSunshine19 · 27/12/2024 19:12

Shinyandnew1 · 26/12/2024 09:46

I think it’s really odd inviting a colleague who lives far away that you’ve only met three times to come and stay over Xmas!

I certainly wouldn’t be happy about leaving them in my house alone for 12 hours.

This

JoannaGroats · 27/12/2024 19:16

Minc · 27/12/2024 19:06

Why are you having an acquaintance as a house guest over Christmas?

Read the OP’s responses.

Minc · 27/12/2024 19:26

I can’t really be bothered. Especially if the guest couldn’t even be bothered to check the train timetables.

NeverSeenAFarmerOnABike · 27/12/2024 19:33

Ayechinnyreckon · 27/12/2024 18:13

Update: so we arrived home to find the TV gone, the dog escaped and our passport opens with drawers strewn across floor.

Not really.

Came home to a tidy house, dishwasher loaded. They bought us a takeaway for dinner and had left by 7 am this morning, having stripped their bed and deposited it in the utility room.

Would definitely have them to stay again!

Sounds like the perfect guest. Hurrah for you making a good judgement call that you could trust her. And, hey, you've made a friend 😁

LardoBurrows · 27/12/2024 20:20

Ayechinnyreckon · 27/12/2024 18:13

Update: so we arrived home to find the TV gone, the dog escaped and our passport opens with drawers strewn across floor.

Not really.

Came home to a tidy house, dishwasher loaded. They bought us a takeaway for dinner and had left by 7 am this morning, having stripped their bed and deposited it in the utility room.

Would definitely have them to stay again!

Sounds like the perfect houseguest, I would definitely invite them again.

peachystormy · 27/12/2024 23:04

whatwouldyoudoifisangoutofkey · 26/12/2024 10:13

Goodness what a lot of mean spirited responses. Such incredulity that someone should add a presumably lone person to share festivities with a number of people.
They're not close friends! The horror!!
Leaving them alone in your home, unthinkable!
OP you sound very thoughtful, thank goodness there are still people like you around.

This 👏🏼👏🏼

fairytailcat · 28/12/2024 07:31

Read the full thread

Not really a problem

You're being dramatic

tilypu · 28/12/2024 07:44

YANBU.

I didn't realise that there is no train service in England on Boxing Day. We have a reduced service here in Scotland. But I was invited to visit friends in England this Christmas and before I gave an answer, I checked on transport options. The 9 hour plus journey involving 4 buses on Boxing Day meant I declined.

Glad you've got your house back now op ☺️