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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you check you can get home?

214 replies

Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 08:26

A colleague/ friend came over for Christmas. Arrived Christmas eve and was meant to leave today.

They're a pleasant enough person but we aren't good friends so it's not as relaxing as it might be having them around. Before they arrived we agreed they'd come Christmas eve and leave boxing day - explained we already had plans both 24th and 26th for all day visits with family, all was fine.

They arrived Christmas eve and all has been well however when we discussed returning home, they didn't know what time their train was on boxing day (we were working out the best way to get them to the station). So they looked up train times, apparently for the first time since deciding to join us for Christmas! And lo and behold, there's no trains on boxing day.

I'd have thought it was fairly standard to check both sides of a train journey before departure? Now they're hanging around an empty house they don't know all day! Nothing within walking distance is open today so they literally have nothing to do!

Aibu to think you check you can get home before you set off?

OP posts:
pollymere · 28/12/2024 13:29

I think people expect a Sunday service on Boxing Day. Same issue with NYD.

I remember my anaesthetist discussing it with my surgeon as he had no idea how to get somewhere on NYD 🤦‍♀️😂. Yes, during the operation.

Ithappenedtome1 · 28/12/2024 13:43

Update: so we arrived home to find the TV gone, the dog escaped and our passport opens with drawers strewn across floor.

Even while I was reading that, I thought, yeah right 😅 It sounds like you've been an excellent host and had really thoughtful guests. So pleased it all worked out, OP

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 30/12/2024 11:11

Ayechinnyreckon · 27/12/2024 18:13

Update: so we arrived home to find the TV gone, the dog escaped and our passport opens with drawers strewn across floor.

Not really.

Came home to a tidy house, dishwasher loaded. They bought us a takeaway for dinner and had left by 7 am this morning, having stripped their bed and deposited it in the utility room.

Would definitely have them to stay again!

Your guest - and you - sound lovely, glad it all worked out.

I bet next time you invite guests, you check the journey planner and send them the link!

Happy new year, @Ayechinnyreckon

Snugs10 · 31/12/2024 19:49

Surely they booked an off peak return as that would be cheaper and they would have noticed then no trains on boxing day. Or being generous did not notice that the return journey was 27th being the first day trains were running again. Or they were aware when they bought their ticket on Christmas Eve but did not know how to tell you when they arrived so waited till Boxing Day and pretended this was the first they knew there were no trains.

Unicornsanddiscoballs91 · 01/01/2025 04:13

OP
I have full sympathy for you in that this person should have checked the times and booked these trains.

I'm quite a hospitable person, empathetic, kind and overly stupidly generous, with very few boundaries. Somebody who I didn't really know, wouldn't be at my house, even at Christmas. Why lovely?

Unicornsanddiscoballs91 · 01/01/2025 04:17

Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 10:09

So to answer a few questions.

They have very limited family. The two family members they do have are currently overseas (one lives abroad and the other is visiting their partners relatives for the Christmas period). I've known them for about 18months, and DH has known them about 2 years.

We haven't met up much because it's simply not practical given the distance. The 3 times we've met have been work related but we've had lich/ dinner and drinks etc after each time. I've been to their house once.

When we invited them it was quite off the cuff but we were hosting other friends as well, so not as odd as it seems - it's not as if it was just me, DH, the kids and work colleague!

They've been an excellent guest, brought pigs in blankets and stuffing balls from an excellent butcher local to them, thoughtful gifts for us all, mead and wine, and a cheese platter from a local deli. They're been helpful and done washing up/ veg prep etc, played with overexcited sugared up kids.

So yeah, I've left them at home with the dog. They're getting the early train in the morning (they're supposed to be working). It's all booked now. They're very apologetic.

If I'd known the train was on 27th I wouldn't have minded but would have been more mentally prepared!

Ok. So its there curveball in plans/routine and the not knowing. I get that

Simonjt · 01/01/2025 04:19

ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes · 26/12/2024 22:36

Why the fuck would I ever go out of my way to learn how to look after a dog I don’t have? 😂😂😂

Show quote history

Do you yourself not have a bladder or intestines?

Unicornsanddiscoballs91 · 01/01/2025 04:30

I've also been that person with no family, and as much as I'd be quite rigid with my planning (wouldn't want to impose) I'd be extremely grateful for your hospitality and possibly subconsciously prolong the goodbye.

Christmas is high pressured, anticlimaxed, add a bit of grief and no family, makes it unbearable.

OP as much as your hospitality creeps me out because you have only met this person a handful of times, I'd be so grateful for you, and it sounds like they have been, I'd put the rest down to Christmas pressure 🙂

Unicornsanddiscoballs91 · 01/01/2025 04:32

BetsyBrowny · 26/12/2024 20:10

Yes, an open return is available everywhere.

If they bought it in person at a ticket office, they'd be asked if they wanted an open return or a specific date, so they'd be advised about 'no trains'.

If they booked online, they would have to choose 'single' or 'return' and select open return. That's usually more expensive.

It's hard to believe they were unaware of the closure of rail lines on the 26th.

It's been 'national news for weeks leading up to Christmas.

It was hard to avoid the 'there are no trains over Christmas' on the news on radio and TV.

And there is also a lot of work being done on lines so anyone travelling is advised to check this when booking (and info is online.)

And....the website usually always says 'check for holiday dates' or check for work affecting the journey.'

Edited
Show quote history

I live in Yorkshire, so maybe it differs, but I've heard nothing on the news.

However. I've been caught out too many times, so would have checked.

Sevenwondersofthewoo · 01/01/2025 06:17

After reading all that

can I be your friend and theirs too.
sounds like they had an amazing time with you even with the over stay and you get a wee bitty miffed but rolled with it.

glad it all worked out in the end and for others Christ you’re all grinches

now when inviting again you’ll both be double checking trains 😝 😜

TimeForATerf · 01/01/2025 06:59

All I’m going to say is what a lovely person the OP is for hosting and what a lovely guest her new friend is. Happy NY 🥂

Norisca · 01/01/2025 22:55

It always amazes me that people don’t know that national rail train services don’t run on Christmas Day or Boxing Day. At all. No need to check, there are no trains. Full stop. As someone who doesn’t drive I’ve always been highly aware of this and had to always plan Christmas around it.

Sevenwondersofthewoo · 02/01/2025 12:54

But trains/coaches in different countries do run on Boxing Day reduced service but still running

tilypu · 02/01/2025 17:25

Norisca · 01/01/2025 22:55

It always amazes me that people don’t know that national rail train services don’t run on Christmas Day or Boxing Day. At all. No need to check, there are no trains. Full stop. As someone who doesn’t drive I’ve always been highly aware of this and had to always plan Christmas around it.

It sounds like you don't know that some rail services do indeed run on Boxing Day.

Maybe not where you are, sure. But surely the fact that you didn't know that means that it's not terribly surprising that other people might not realise that there are none in England...

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