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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH complaining about my Christmas Dinner

342 replies

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 05:12

Primarily the beef! Which wasn’t good - tough as old boots he said. Reminded him of a shoe etc.

DH worked Christmas Day, home at 2. We have small children and I spend the morning/afternoon running between the kitchen and the living room cooking/playing with the kids/opening presents/building toys and cleaning and cooking a big Christmas dinner.

Main was a huge turkey crown which was beautiful, everyone enjoyed it. All fresh veg, homemade cauliflower cheese, Yorkshires, all the trimmings etc. Beef was an extra (small joint) but not the main event. Texted DH in the morning-help! I’ve never cooked beef before (I eat mostly a vegetarian diet) how long does he want me to cook it for? Just guess! Was his reply!

Served up the dinner and he moaned and moaned about how the beef was like an old boot and he could barely cut through it.

It was very tough-told him to leave it and just eat the turkey.

To make it worse - his family came over in the evening and they asked how our dinner was and all he could mention was the beef being like old boots and our kids laughed along. His Mum then offered to teach me how to cook beef. Grr! He also commented on how much I had spent on the turkey this year-it was expensive but I was alone with the children and had to wait for DH to be home so I could shop for it, not much left and spend a lot more than usual.

Felt like I was in the kitchen for several hours prepping, cooking and cleaning. I was exhausted when he came home. AIBU? I was v.embarrassed when he mentioned it in front of his family and it sounded like the whole of my dinner was shit when it was only one of many other dishes.

OP posts:
MumChp · 26/12/2024 05:17

Next year you leave home and he fix Christmas dinner and entertain the children.

HomeTheatreSystem · 26/12/2024 05:21

He was spectacularly unhelpful with timings for the beef joint. You guessed and it wasn't right. Maybe next time he can be a bit more helpful. I was going to say you could have googled the type of joint and appropriate cooking time but it sounds like you already had your hands full. He was a dick to be rude about what sounds like a wonderful Christmas Dinner bar the beef which I'd see as his sole contribution.

DarkForces · 26/12/2024 05:25

I wouldn't be lifting a finger next year to cater for the ungrateful swine. Cook the food you enjoy and leave the meat on the shelf.

pikkumyy77 · 26/12/2024 05:25

Look: your husband is an asshole who does not know how much work goes into making a holiday or cooking a meal. He needs educating on that and he needs educating on manners. He received a gift from you:your time, labour, love and care and he shat all over it.

Just let him know. Tell him that you worked hard to give him and his children and his family a good Christmas experience and he can either be grateful and polite about it or you won’t be doing it again.

As for the beef—next time you are making an unfamiliar food just google for instructions. Your moron husband knows no more about how to cook this food he likes than he knows how to build a car he wants to drive. Instead of admitting his ignorance he blew you off that is part of his asshole nature.

I have burnt or ruined plenty of meals in the 34 years I have been cooking for my dh (well, a few anyway). He has never complained because he respects the work and care I am showing him by doing this major, repetitive, household chore. For sure he never had the nerve to let me cook a major meal and then criticize it to his fucking mother.

BoxOfCats · 26/12/2024 05:26

Tell him he's in charge of cooking Christmas dinner next year!

Oblomov24 · 26/12/2024 05:28

What an absolute twat.

SunriseCat · 26/12/2024 05:40

You’re just one person. As things stand you’re running yourself ragged trying to please everyone, and you’ve seen what your efforts have gotten you. Ungratefulness. Complaining. Jokes at your expense. Why are you doing this to yourself for someone who takes all of your hard work for granted?

Vegandiva · 26/12/2024 05:49

He sounds really horrible and ungrateful and he definitely needs to cook his own meals from now on while you enjoy delicious vegetarian food 😁

brummumma · 26/12/2024 05:50

You obviously have access to the internet so could have googled how to cook beef? You admit it was awful and if he's making some jokes about it so what just let it go over your head I think you are blowing this out of proportion

DarkForces · 26/12/2024 05:52

brummumma · 26/12/2024 05:50

You obviously have access to the internet so could have googled how to cook beef? You admit it was awful and if he's making some jokes about it so what just let it go over your head I think you are blowing this out of proportion

Why on earth should she have to? Op doesn't even eat beef and her husband's advice was to guess. Surely he could have googled if it was that important to him.

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 05:56

brummumma · 26/12/2024 05:50

You obviously have access to the internet so could have googled how to cook beef? You admit it was awful and if he's making some jokes about it so what just let it go over your head I think you are blowing this out of proportion

I did google how to cook a beef joint but seemed to get multiple timings/different techniques and no definitive answer. It wasn’t good but it was ok when the gravy was added, he wouldn’t let me throw it away. Asked friends advice too but everyone seemed to say different times - one said 4 hours and another said just over one hour - it was difficult to judge it.

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 26/12/2024 05:59

What a twat. I would be telling him next year you will be sticking to cooking Turkey as he upset you with his negative comments about the beef.

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 06:01

The issue was more how it was the first thing he mentioned along with moaning that there was no cutlery on the table and he would have to wash some-there was but he just couldn’t find it. Also stuffing his face with chocolate just before I was dishing up and complaining that I hadn’t sat down to join everyone but I was still running around serving everyone.

OP posts:
InCheesusITrust · 26/12/2024 06:03

Where did you get that beef, because it absolutely did not have to be you. I got once roast from asda and I swear thay cow had to be 100 and running marathons or something. Tough as fuck. Similar happened with steak another time. No matter what we tried, it went to the bin in the end

InCheesusITrust · 26/12/2024 06:03

Alao he was being bit of a twat

Notcopingbutstillstanding · 26/12/2024 06:03

You need to lose your shit, like I did three Christmases ago. I did bite my tongue till everyone had gone.
I'd produced 13 dishes for
nine people: all the usual suspects - and good vegetarian options for some family members. Working with an oven the size of a Rubik's cube.
After he'd heaped his plate, my H sat down, and over everyone else's "wow, this looks amazing" etc, leaned toward me, and said ...."did I miss the bread sauce?"
How I didn't Frisbee his plate, I don't know.
He'd been a grumpy git that Christmas and it was definitely passive aggressive, I know him.
Anyway. He's never pulled a trick like that again.

Twiglets1 · 26/12/2024 06:03

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 06:01

The issue was more how it was the first thing he mentioned along with moaning that there was no cutlery on the table and he would have to wash some-there was but he just couldn’t find it. Also stuffing his face with chocolate just before I was dishing up and complaining that I hadn’t sat down to join everyone but I was still running around serving everyone.

Again ...what a twat. Would not be happy to be married to someone like this personally. It's not just Christmas is it? He has a general lack of respect for you.

Notcopingbutstillstanding · 26/12/2024 06:06

Oh, and we had a beef fillet Christmas Eve that was fucking dire and I've done roast beef a hundred times. It was the quality of the meat, NOT anything I did wrong. It will no doubt be the same in your case.

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 06:10

InCheesusITrust · 26/12/2024 06:03

Where did you get that beef, because it absolutely did not have to be you. I got once roast from asda and I swear thay cow had to be 100 and running marathons or something. Tough as fuck. Similar happened with steak another time. No matter what we tried, it went to the bin in the end

Interesting 🤨 It was a joint from Tesco - £7.75 with a clubcard - bargain 😆 It was 1.34KG? Not big.

OP posts:
TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 06:11

Notcopingbutstillstanding · 26/12/2024 06:06

Oh, and we had a beef fillet Christmas Eve that was fucking dire and I've done roast beef a hundred times. It was the quality of the meat, NOT anything I did wrong. It will no doubt be the same in your case.

Oh possibly the beef then? Told my mum and she’s had similar experiences and she’s used to cooking beef. She’s had to bin some joints.

OP posts:
Tel12 · 26/12/2024 06:12

It was cheap and you get what you pay for. However it doesn't excuse your husband's response. Tell him it's his turn next year.

Tel12 · 26/12/2024 06:14

Or next year it's full on vegetarian roast.

ApparentlyRockBottomHasABasement · 26/12/2024 06:17

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 05:56

I did google how to cook a beef joint but seemed to get multiple timings/different techniques and no definitive answer. It wasn’t good but it was ok when the gravy was added, he wouldn’t let me throw it away. Asked friends advice too but everyone seemed to say different times - one said 4 hours and another said just over one hour - it was difficult to judge it.

Did you get it from a butcher or supermarket?
It has the timings on the packaging if supermarket.

Missmarymack2 · 26/12/2024 06:20

Agree with suggestions to let him do all the cooking next year. I would also sit back and let him set the table too and mind the children throughout it all.
I think perhaps a taste of his own medicine is how he will learn from this.

RareLilacFinch · 26/12/2024 06:27

What a prick! I’d be furious at him shit talking your hard work in front of his family and the kids. Next year he can cook it all and you can rate each dish out of 10.

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