DH complaining about my Christmas Dinner

[TuffasOldBoots]

Primarily the beef! Which wasn’t good - tough as old boots he said. Reminded him of a shoe etc.

DH worked Christmas Day, home at 2. We have small children and I spend the morning/afternoon running between the kitchen and the living room cooking/playing with the kids/opening presents/building toys and cleaning and cooking a big Christmas dinner.

Main was a huge turkey crown which was beautiful, everyone enjoyed it. All fresh veg, homemade cauliflower cheese, Yorkshires, all the trimmings etc. Beef was an extra (small joint) but not the main event. Texted DH in the morning-help! I’ve never cooked beef before (I eat mostly a vegetarian diet) how long does he want me to cook it for? Just guess! Was his reply!

Served up the dinner and he moaned and moaned about how the beef was like an old boot and he could barely cut through it.

It was very tough-told him to leave it and just eat the turkey.

To make it worse - his family came over in the evening and they asked how our dinner was and all he could mention was the beef being like old boots and our kids laughed along. His Mum then offered to teach me how to cook beef. Grr! He also commented on how much I had spent on the turkey this year-it was expensive but I was alone with the children and had to wait for DH to be home so I could shop for it, not much left and spend a lot more than usual.

Felt like I was in the kitchen for several hours prepping, cooking and cleaning. I was exhausted when he came home. AIBU? I was v.embarrassed when he mentioned it in front of his family and it sounded like the whole of my dinner was shit when it was only one of many other dishes.

Agree with PP - it’s irrelevant how long OP should have cooked the beef or whether she was cooking too much. It’s her husband’s attitude that was the problem.

Your choice.

I have 2,5 weeks Chistmas holidays with our children this year so I wouldn't miss out on a lot.
If my husband was a PITA over cooking beef I would happily leave him in charge next year. He would learn to be a bit more grateful I think.

It's embarrassing when something goes wrong but we are usually oir worst critic, not our loved ones. One comment from u re toughness should have been met with something encouraging from him. He should not have made a fuss. When the festivities are over, have a discussion with him about this. Divide tasks nxt year. It should all be on you.

DH totally out of order. I know what I’d be doing next year. And cooking beef as an extra when vegetarian yourself never would I bother again. Regarding the beef, I see it was from Tesco the instructions on how to cook it (whether you want it rare, medium or well done) is on the sticky label you have to peel it off. Even following those instructions if the beef isn’t great it’ll still be tough.

I have great friends. I could visit one or two of them.
Go to work. They would love to see me! Always a shift to cover. Never enough staff.
Book myself a nice hotel and relax with sushi.
Go the local Christmas marked for hours meating friends. Lots of people go.
Help out at the church preparing Christingle and services for Christmas. Members of the congregation are always welcome to do that.

Really a non issue.

You’re married, he’s whingeing- tell him off!

If you feel embarrassed he mentioned in front of his family….then you say in front of everyone that’s he’s in charge next year and say to the MIL that she can teach her DS his to cook beef

It’s not a big deal and can be done in a jokey way. There’s no point in being upset about it. If he mentions it again, then say yes, I’m an awful cook and can’t budget, so that’s I’m cooking a veggie menu next year.

Dont get upset about it, put him in his place and move on. Don’t let it drag on.

They suffer this year having an ungrateful dad complaing of the food...

Tbh I would reconsider my marriage if my husband acted like OP's.

What an arse.

I cook Christmas dinner every year, and if DH or any of my guests/dc spoke about it like that it would be the last time I did it.

Impressed (for you) that he's still drawing oxygen! I realise it was the years ago but your entitled Little Lordling has infuriated me on your behalf!

He’s an absolute arsehole, OP. He can’t help needing to work on Christmas Day leaving it all to you, but he can help: adding beef to the mix, being unhelpful with timings, being unhelpful once home (why is he stuffing chocolate in his face instead of laying the table/wrangling children/taking it upon himself to figure out where the cutlery is, being rude, reporting to his family that the beef wasn’t good, complaining, literally every aspect of his terrible behaviour.

What are his good points? Because for contrast, I did the Christmas dinner in our house, bodged some things because some things always get bodged – it’s 12 dishes!, dropped the roulade for pudding so we all called it a Splat!, the pastry for my lemon tart came away from the filling, potatoes weren’t as crispy as I’d have liked, etc. All DP has done has been full of praise, gratitude, clearing up, child wrangling, coming back for second helpings.

And tbh, even if your dinner was like an old shoe, I’d expect kindness because Christmas dinner is a ballache; even more so when you’re doing it solo with small children and presents and excitement and building toys and laying the table. Next year, sack him off – cook what you want, pizza or fish finger chips if you cba with the full production which is wasted on small kids anyway, definitely don’t do beef, and for his Christmas present buy him a guide to manners and etiquette.

Because if you choose to cook meat, you, at the very least, respect the animal that was killed for you & cook it properly so it's not wasted. No way would I be cooking it (also vegetarian) but there are unlimited instructions how to do so properly)

@TuffasOldBoots

why did you cook both turkey & beef?? Extra stress you didn't need.

hes a git though & fucking rude.

tell him he's on cooking a full on Roast (or meal if your choice) & minding the children on New Years Day while you're OUT, so it's ready for you coming home.

Even then he'd be getting off lightly as the kids won't be hyped up for Christmas with new toys to assemble & be helped with. I'd put some away to get out new years day!!

Obviously next year you won’t be cooking a roast beef for him.
Well done on holding it all together, keeping your children happy AND producing a lovely Christmas lunch whilst your DH was at work. I wouldn’t have been able to do all that! I presume DH is on cooking duty today whilst you eat chocolate!x

Tell him that he’s most welcome to cook next year. Beef is better cooked medium, google would have been your best bet rather than a guess. But he didn’t need to be so rude. My ex was like that. I was raised to be polite even if I didn’t like it

It varies based on the weight. Didn’t the pack have cooking times? It usually does

Next year just stick to the turkey. Beef is the nicest served rare. You probably cooked it for too long.

1. He should have done the washing up.
2. Slagging you off to his parents is not on—married couples need to present as a “united front”.
3. He is teaching your DCs to belittle you—them joining in is now them moving into dangerous territory.
4. He sounds like an absolute cunt, and if this is just another example of “who he is”, perhaps consider if your life is enhanced when he’s not in it.

I'm so sorry you married a twat! He needs his arse handing to him. Ungrateful pig.

All the supermarket meat joints have cooking instructions underneath the label.

I did a 2kg topside of beef. 25 mins at 220C uncovered then 15 mins per 500g at 160C covered.

Your DH is a twat for only focusing on the bad and not all the nice stuff.

Next year I'd suggest Christmas lasagne or ratatouille that he can prepare in advance!

I would be raging about this too. It's just so ungrateful, negative and very rude. Not a good example for him to set to your children either.

No doubt about it both him and his mother are rude. Your dinner sounds lovely. I tend to cook all meat joints in advance, including Turkey crown, but especially beef, by cooking it the day before in my show cooker and then slicing it thinly the next day. By the time it is covered with gravy and veg no one would care that the meat is cold. My late mother in law taught me this trick.

but don’t fret over you ungrateful DH just get him to do the dinner in future. He can look after the children at the same time!

Tell him he’s an ungrateful, selfish dickhead and Christmas Day is on him next year. Also, that you’ll be sure to focus on whatever short-comings become apparent and share them around the family for laughs.