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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH complaining about my Christmas Dinner

342 replies

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 05:12

Primarily the beef! Which wasn’t good - tough as old boots he said. Reminded him of a shoe etc.

DH worked Christmas Day, home at 2. We have small children and I spend the morning/afternoon running between the kitchen and the living room cooking/playing with the kids/opening presents/building toys and cleaning and cooking a big Christmas dinner.

Main was a huge turkey crown which was beautiful, everyone enjoyed it. All fresh veg, homemade cauliflower cheese, Yorkshires, all the trimmings etc. Beef was an extra (small joint) but not the main event. Texted DH in the morning-help! I’ve never cooked beef before (I eat mostly a vegetarian diet) how long does he want me to cook it for? Just guess! Was his reply!

Served up the dinner and he moaned and moaned about how the beef was like an old boot and he could barely cut through it.

It was very tough-told him to leave it and just eat the turkey.

To make it worse - his family came over in the evening and they asked how our dinner was and all he could mention was the beef being like old boots and our kids laughed along. His Mum then offered to teach me how to cook beef. Grr! He also commented on how much I had spent on the turkey this year-it was expensive but I was alone with the children and had to wait for DH to be home so I could shop for it, not much left and spend a lot more than usual.

Felt like I was in the kitchen for several hours prepping, cooking and cleaning. I was exhausted when he came home. AIBU? I was v.embarrassed when he mentioned it in front of his family and it sounded like the whole of my dinner was shit when it was only one of many other dishes.

OP posts:
WaryOpalFish · 26/12/2024 08:11

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LandSharksAnonymous · 26/12/2024 08:11

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 06:10

Interesting 🤨 It was a joint from Tesco - £7.75 with a clubcard - bargain 😆 It was 1.34KG? Not big.

Nothing was going to save that joint. Beef is one of those things that you 100% get what you pay for and at that price you could have been Rick Stein and Gordon Ramsey’s love child and it would still have been crap. no offence.

Doesn’t excuse him being a twat, of course.

LandSharksAnonymous · 26/12/2024 08:12

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JMSA · 26/12/2024 08:13

He can shove the beef up his pompous arse.

Whatslife · 26/12/2024 08:15

Thank you everyone. I feel like I don't know what a healthy relationship should look like. And that men that help are very rare so this is the norm. I'm not sure if this is true either.

berksandbeyond · 26/12/2024 08:16

I'd have shoved the beef up his arse!

Tbh you could have googled it, but I'd be googling divorce lawyers instead

BugsyMaroon · 26/12/2024 08:17

I am a Very Good Cook (not boasting, fact. It's my only hobby). And I can't cook beef.

Your husband is an arse. I hope he realises today what a shithead he has been. I am sorry.

Itsalwaysfools · 26/12/2024 08:18

Twiglets1 · 26/12/2024 05:59

What a twat. I would be telling him next year you will be sticking to cooking Turkey as he upset you with his negative comments about the beef.

Goodness, what a terrible consequence for this poor man....

WaryOpalFish · 26/12/2024 08:18

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NiftyPeachDreamer · 26/12/2024 08:21

I don’t understand why people are giving your beef recipes (especially when you’re mainly vegetarian) when the bigger issue is that your husband is an absolute twat.

Does he have any good points? Because he sounds absolutely awful.

CountFucula · 26/12/2024 08:21

I find rudeness so unattractive. He sounds such an entitled prick. His mother probably enslaved herself to the kitchen and the homemaking and so he thinks this is actually acceptable. Ask him to imagine his Christmas Day if you hadn’t been available to him to look after and make a nice day for his children or to cook the dinner, what would it look like, would he be ok with getting a take away or something? I hope so, because I assume after this ungracious and prickish behaviour you’ll not be doing it again.

Ps don’t prove him right that the success of the meal relates to your achievements in life by giving this any more headspace. It’s clear that he basically thinks effortless meal preparation and homemaking is all women should be measured against and you have failed, that’s his failure to understand the world, not yours. He sound quite thick.

NiftyPeachDreamer · 26/12/2024 08:21

Itsalwaysfools · 26/12/2024 08:18

Goodness, what a terrible consequence for this poor man....

Why is he a poor man?

Itsalwaysfools · 26/12/2024 08:22

Whatslife · 26/12/2024 08:15

Thank you everyone. I feel like I don't know what a healthy relationship should look like. And that men that help are very rare so this is the norm. I'm not sure if this is true either.

Firstly, you need to refrain it in your mind. It's not 'helping'. It's his home and his children too. It's not your task to carry the full weight of all this. Raise your bar. Men can use strategic incompetence extremely well (capable of running big engineering plants, for example but sorting washing is beyond them) but never settle for some man-child who expects you to be a domestic appliance.

Itsalwaysfools · 26/12/2024 08:22

NiftyPeachDreamer · 26/12/2024 08:21

Why is he a poor man?

I was being sarcastic.

WaryOpalFish · 26/12/2024 08:23

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Iliketulips · 26/12/2024 08:23

You want to tell him, you appreciate he was working but next year he can cook the meal after work, Boxing Day or whenever he's not working.

NiftyPeachDreamer · 26/12/2024 08:24

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Considering I’ve only had this username for a couple of days and it’s been Christmas, I think your definition of ‘always’ is very loose.

NiftyPeachDreamer · 26/12/2024 08:25

Itsalwaysfools · 26/12/2024 08:22

I was being sarcastic.

Sorry, some of these replies are incredible, hard to read sarcasm on this thread.

However87 · 26/12/2024 08:25

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WaryOpalFish · 26/12/2024 08:25

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NiftyPeachDreamer · 26/12/2024 08:26

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Is this post sarcastic too? Because it should be,

NiftyPeachDreamer · 26/12/2024 08:26

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Or you’re just making crap up, as always.

CountFucula · 26/12/2024 08:26

The women here that have internalised the patriarchy and are giving you recipes. Honestly! Unless the recipe is ‘How to raise your standards with men’ then please just stop.

newyearsresolurion · 26/12/2024 08:26

I had a backache from cooking all morning if someone said that to me I'd probably end up in prison with murder. He's an asshole

WaryOpalFish · 26/12/2024 08:27

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