Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH complaining about my Christmas Dinner

342 replies

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 05:12

Primarily the beef! Which wasn’t good - tough as old boots he said. Reminded him of a shoe etc.

DH worked Christmas Day, home at 2. We have small children and I spend the morning/afternoon running between the kitchen and the living room cooking/playing with the kids/opening presents/building toys and cleaning and cooking a big Christmas dinner.

Main was a huge turkey crown which was beautiful, everyone enjoyed it. All fresh veg, homemade cauliflower cheese, Yorkshires, all the trimmings etc. Beef was an extra (small joint) but not the main event. Texted DH in the morning-help! I’ve never cooked beef before (I eat mostly a vegetarian diet) how long does he want me to cook it for? Just guess! Was his reply!

Served up the dinner and he moaned and moaned about how the beef was like an old boot and he could barely cut through it.

It was very tough-told him to leave it and just eat the turkey.

To make it worse - his family came over in the evening and they asked how our dinner was and all he could mention was the beef being like old boots and our kids laughed along. His Mum then offered to teach me how to cook beef. Grr! He also commented on how much I had spent on the turkey this year-it was expensive but I was alone with the children and had to wait for DH to be home so I could shop for it, not much left and spend a lot more than usual.

Felt like I was in the kitchen for several hours prepping, cooking and cleaning. I was exhausted when he came home. AIBU? I was v.embarrassed when he mentioned it in front of his family and it sounded like the whole of my dinner was shit when it was only one of many other dishes.

OP posts:
WaryOpalFish · 26/12/2024 08:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

NiftyPeachDreamer · 26/12/2024 08:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

It shows you’ve started an argument for absolutely reason. Or did you expect me not to respond?

Comtesse · 26/12/2024 08:28

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 06:01

The issue was more how it was the first thing he mentioned along with moaning that there was no cutlery on the table and he would have to wash some-there was but he just couldn’t find it. Also stuffing his face with chocolate just before I was dishing up and complaining that I hadn’t sat down to join everyone but I was still running around serving everyone.

Ok see this is when it tipped full into “graceless arsehole” territory. What an unhelpful judgemental boor he is.

He’s cooking next year. I would die on that hill.

Haroldwilson · 26/12/2024 08:28

He was bring a prick. But also tbh you're being a bit of a doormat.

Next time do just what you want. Sth kids will eat, make life easy for yourself even if it's 1/4 size of normal Xmas dinner and mostly out of the freezer. Vegetarian is fine.

Say no to his family coming round. If they do, he does the legwork.

And if he has any option of not working Xmas day, he should take it.

NiftyPeachDreamer · 26/12/2024 08:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Are you for real? You’ve entered stalking territory, please don’t message me again.

Haroldwilson · 26/12/2024 08:29

Or do a little treat buffet lunch for you and kids, he comes home and gets to cook Xmas for dinner and run round after kids while you have a bath.

WaryOpalFish · 26/12/2024 08:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

NiftyPeachDreamer · 26/12/2024 08:32

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

We get it, can you stop derailing the OP’s thread now?

Happy Boxing Day.

Greenkindness · 26/12/2024 08:33

The beef, and how easy or not it was to cook, isn’t the point, it really isn’t. How rude and ungrateful of him, especially to get other people to join in. A really poor way to treat you.

LizzieSiddal · 26/12/2024 08:33

Tell him how fucking rude he’s being by constantly going on about a tiny bit of the meal. Then announce that next year he will be doing the whole meal.

He's an ungrateful prat!

buybuysellsell · 26/12/2024 08:34

CountFucula · 26/12/2024 08:26

The women here that have internalised the patriarchy and are giving you recipes. Honestly! Unless the recipe is ‘How to raise your standards with men’ then please just stop.

Well said! It is NOT ABOUT THE BEEF!

Greenkindness · 26/12/2024 08:37

I really think you need to talk to him about how unkind this was, before it becomes the norm, especially dragging other people in.

Greyrockin · 26/12/2024 08:48

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

There's always one who has to contribute with a "you sound as bad as each other" comment. OP was probably running round like a blue arsed fly yesterday and didn't have the time or bandwidth to ask for advice on MN. Even if she did she would have had a myriad of different responses.

@TuffasOldBoots I'm a competent cook but I've stopped trying to do roast beef because I can never get it right (probably 'cos I go for the Tesco club card offer 😁). Your OH is an arsehole.

BeAzureAnt · 26/12/2024 08:51

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 06:11

Oh possibly the beef then? Told my mum and she’s had similar experiences and she’s used to cooking beef. She’s had to bin some joints.

Yes. Probably the type of beef for a slow and low cook in a slow cooker to tenderise it. OP, you did your best. Tell your husband how you feel and ask for an apology.

binkie163 · 26/12/2024 08:54

I am not a big meat eater, so I am in charge of aunt Bessie frozen roast potatoes &Yorkshire pudding 😀 broccoli, parsnips & carrots, zero time or stress. Himself is responsible for the meat and gravy, tbh I will happily eat just a plate of veg and gravy. It's worked for 30 years.
Asda mince pies, Xmas pudding and brandy butter. I have never been that bothered about roasts, I don't cook them. If we want Sunday lunch we eat out.
I remember my mum spending days of prepping....no thanks.

pelargoniums · 26/12/2024 08:58

NiftyPeachDreamer · 26/12/2024 08:21

I don’t understand why people are giving your beef recipes (especially when you’re mainly vegetarian) when the bigger issue is that your husband is an absolute twat.

Does he have any good points? Because he sounds absolutely awful.

It’s one of my least favourite MNisms: “My arzehole husband did this terrible thing, he has a history of terrible things such as XYZ then today in our yellow living room he did it again.”

Mumsnet: “Omg you say living room and not sitting room?” “Ugh, yellow, ours is skimming stone, why not repaint, he’s probably got a migraine from the colour.” “Actually it’s spelled ‘arsehole’, HTH.” “Try spending more on a better joint of beef.”

CowTown · 26/12/2024 09:03

Whatslife · 26/12/2024 08:15

Thank you everyone. I feel like I don't know what a healthy relationship should look like. And that men that help are very rare so this is the norm. I'm not sure if this is true either.

My DH cooked the entire meal. I helped prep the veg, helped serve up, and did the cheese course. And I did the nibbles and the washing up. DH did the meal and timings, the dessert, and the setting of the table. The Beef Wellington didn’t exactly slice up Instagram-ready, but it tasted lovely, I told DH so, and you can bet your arse I’ll mention nothing of the appearance to family when we meet up today.

Hwi · 26/12/2024 09:07

MumChp · 26/12/2024 05:17

Next year you leave home and he fix Christmas dinner and entertain the children.

What, in addition to being the main provider he has to cook as well?

Poppins21 · 26/12/2024 09:07

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 06:11

Oh possibly the beef then? Told my mum and she’s had similar experiences and she’s used to cooking beef. She’s had to bin some joints.

I can cook beef but one beef joint I did was so bloody awful I ended up ringing the meat processor and offered to post it back to him! I was so angry as it was our New Year’s Day dinner.

NiftyPeachDreamer · 26/12/2024 09:09

pelargoniums · 26/12/2024 08:58

It’s one of my least favourite MNisms: “My arzehole husband did this terrible thing, he has a history of terrible things such as XYZ then today in our yellow living room he did it again.”

Mumsnet: “Omg you say living room and not sitting room?” “Ugh, yellow, ours is skimming stone, why not repaint, he’s probably got a migraine from the colour.” “Actually it’s spelled ‘arsehole’, HTH.” “Try spending more on a better joint of beef.”

😊 that’s true, it happens so often. I don’t know if it’s conscious or if they really have ‘internalised the patriarchy’, as a pp put it.

Pussycat22 · 26/12/2024 09:09

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 05:12

Primarily the beef! Which wasn’t good - tough as old boots he said. Reminded him of a shoe etc.

DH worked Christmas Day, home at 2. We have small children and I spend the morning/afternoon running between the kitchen and the living room cooking/playing with the kids/opening presents/building toys and cleaning and cooking a big Christmas dinner.

Main was a huge turkey crown which was beautiful, everyone enjoyed it. All fresh veg, homemade cauliflower cheese, Yorkshires, all the trimmings etc. Beef was an extra (small joint) but not the main event. Texted DH in the morning-help! I’ve never cooked beef before (I eat mostly a vegetarian diet) how long does he want me to cook it for? Just guess! Was his reply!

Served up the dinner and he moaned and moaned about how the beef was like an old boot and he could barely cut through it.

It was very tough-told him to leave it and just eat the turkey.

To make it worse - his family came over in the evening and they asked how our dinner was and all he could mention was the beef being like old boots and our kids laughed along. His Mum then offered to teach me how to cook beef. Grr! He also commented on how much I had spent on the turkey this year-it was expensive but I was alone with the children and had to wait for DH to be home so I could shop for it, not much left and spend a lot more than usual.

Felt like I was in the kitchen for several hours prepping, cooking and cleaning. I was exhausted when he came home. AIBU? I was v.embarrassed when he mentioned it in front of his family and it sounded like the whole of my dinner was shit when it was only one of many other dishes.

He'd be wearing it along with the gravy!!

HardenYourHeart · 26/12/2024 09:12

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 06:01

The issue was more how it was the first thing he mentioned along with moaning that there was no cutlery on the table and he would have to wash some-there was but he just couldn’t find it. Also stuffing his face with chocolate just before I was dishing up and complaining that I hadn’t sat down to join everyone but I was still running around serving everyone.

Ugh, does he have any redeeming characteristics? Does he add anything to your life and that of the kids, or is he merely a burden to you all?

Personally, I'd be reconsidering this marriage. Life is too short to be made unhappy by one person and his family entourage.

ChristmasEveNotChristmasSteve · 26/12/2024 09:13

Well that's fucking rude.

JFDIYOLO · 26/12/2024 09:17

Tell him today, and his parents, and the kids, that on Christmas day 2025 he will be cooking the Christmas dinner.

CowTown · 26/12/2024 09:17

Hwi · 26/12/2024 09:07

What, in addition to being the main provider he has to cook as well?

My husband earns significantly more than me, and still managed to cook the meal. Welcome to 2024.