Christmas cancelled

[SandSandy]

Feeling very sorry for myself! Had family coming over today for Christmas, I've spent ages preparing food, games, the usual - they've cancelled last minute as they're ill.

It can't be helped and I'm not upset with the family at all, just really disappointed to be spending Christmas alone 😔

My mum is the type of person who takes being ill very seriously. Any sign of a sniffle and she’ll panic and cancel whatever.
But, if she rang me to cancel her attendance at a Christmas dinner I was cooking, she would tell me not to make any for her, and she would be trying to reimburse my costs for the food, I just know. To cancel and then collect food is quite shocking to me, unless that is specifically what you’ve offered…but even then, I’d personally tell you please not to worry, relax and we’ll rearrange.

I’d personally say that you don’t think you’ll cook a big dinner now as you’re on your own, and that you’ll see them when they are feeling better.

Sorry @SandSandy but that sounds like a piss poor excuse to me and I agree with the pp that you tell them that you aren’t going to bother to cook now as you are going out instead . Buggered if I’d stand in the kitchen cooking meals for someone to collect , if they are well enough to eat dinner they are well enough to see you .

That's a rubbish situation and I'd be annoyed, upset and disappointed, but not at anyone in particular. I hope you end up enjoying the day and managing to rescue all the food, except whatever you want to eat today yourself. 😀

Edited to add: I didn't read the full thread and think there have been some updates since your OP; sorry if so!

No, sorry, they dont get to leave you alone all Christmas Day and then expect you to provide a catering service for them. Bloody hell.

If they're too ill to come and see you then they are too ill to drive around and to eat a full Christmas dinner. They sound like selfish dickheads

A bit headachy and achy?? Why cant you go to them? Sounds a bit shit - I'm sorry op

All 6 of them feel "a bit headachey" at the exact same time? But one of them is less headachey so still able to ferry your food around for them to eat despite their flu symptoms?

Riiiight.

I couldn’t be do cheeky to pick up the food.

However, in their defence.

The BIL is the least poorly but he’s still poorly and been around the others and I don’t think it would be a good idea for him to sit in OPs home and eat.

I also assume he’s the least close to OP and it might be a bit weird if just he sat and ate in OPs home whilst her sister, kids and parents weren’t there.

I’d like to know how it came about that they would still collect the food.
I can’t imagine ever asking that and so I wonder if OP offered.

How horrible.

How about a good old fashioned skype Christmas chat? Germ free and you could show them all the effort you made. You could have a digital get-together for the Christmas meal...?

Just an idea.

Wow I would not be cooking that dinner for them to collect . I can't even get my head round how out of order this is

Bils well enough to drive to you and collect all the food that you’ve made and then take it home?! They haven’t invited you over to them with the food? I’d be raging. There’s no way I’d be cooking if they all aren’t coming- if they’re so poorly why do they want a full roast. Also suspicious that all of them are poorly

The bit about BIL picking up dinner has got my back up! I’d tell them I wasn’t planning to cook and would just be freezing everything. What a bloody cheek!

I'm so sorry your family is treating you this way. If they are well enough to eat a full Christmas dinner, then they are well enough for a bit of company. There's absolutely no way I'd be preparing food for them, I'd rather give it to someone in need who would appreciate the effort you have gone to.

Too ill to visit but not ill to come and pick up the food for to eat ? Just with the exclusion of your company of course. I mean you could go to theirs then surely?
but I suspect there is more to the dynamics and feel this could make the stately home thread.
Whatever you do I hope it’s great and know you have literally the whole of mumsnet community rooting for you and wishing you well.

big love. ❤️

Or invite me to join them for lunch! It sounds like their Christmas is just going to crack on as planned.

They are too ill to come round but they will take the food! F that! Awful behaviour.

Did people go around cancelling left, right and centre before Covid? I certainly don’t think so.

I'm so sorry and it does sound like they can't be bothered. Understand if people are ill but wrong they want to collect food. Just sounds as if they want you to cook dinner so they don't have to then leave you out whilst they have their family Christmas. Please don't and this is coming from the biggest people pleaser! Wondering if there's any neighbours that might welcome coming around or if you could go for a walk or a pub for a quick drink or a coffee to have some company.

This is a thread I actually wouldn't mind the Daily Mail picking up on and the CFs reading.

I have the opposite problem, I was planning a nice quiet low key Christmas (I normally work and was looking forward to relaxing in front of the telly and having a drink this year), and one by one people have cancelled existing plans and announced they will be coming to me (since I’m already cooking a roast dinner anyway)! But then have proceeded to moan about what I’m cooking - don’t eat veg thats not green, parsnips better be fresh and not frozen (wasn’t even planning on doing parsnips), doesn’t like sprouts, only drinks diet drinks, doesn’t like nuts or ice-cream, the list goes on!! I’m just hoping there is enough turkey to go around.

Anyway, I’m sure it’ll be fine. I can still have a drink as I’m not driving, they will either eat what I cook or they won’t. Bottoms up!

So they’re not even concerned about you catching it as they’re willing to send someone contagious over?

Oh no. And to drive over to collect food! That’s so rude, I’m sorry.

I'm so sorry to hear that, enjoy the day as best you can xx

There's no way I'd be entertaining that nonsense, tbh. Inviting themselves along and moaning about what's on offer. Nope.

Nah fuck that, I'd sit and eat all the food to myself. Thats really rude!

Did they not invite you to theirs?

Sorry your family are treating you so badly OP. If I was “so ill” that I had to leave a family member alone on Christmas Day there is no way I’d have the brass neck to expect them to cook dinner for me and yet be miraculously well enough to drive over to pick it up.

Im afraid I’m another one who thinks this is an excuse and that their Christmas is carrying on as usual but without you there. I’d be taking a good look over the last year and see if this is a pattern of behaviour from them. So sorry x