Xmas day morning - AIBU here?

[HennyPenny42]

Staying at my parents’ house for Christmas with dp and dd (3), my sister is also here.
Sat around on Xmas Eve chatting about the order of the day tomorrow. I assume my dd will wake early (6ish) and I’m happy for her to have her stocking when she wakes up. I said ‘oh, she’ll probably have everyone up as she’ll be excited and want to show you all what she’s got’. Just got a groan from df, and pointed silence from dm and dsis said ‘she can show me stuff but I’m not getting up’. So if they have their way it’ll be me and dp getting up with dd to do stocking and them emerging 2/3 hours later.
AIBU to think that this is slightly mean spirited on Christmas Day?
They would never dream of letting us having a lie in by taking dd in the morning normally (obviously wouldn’t want that in Xmas day as I want to be there!) and refuse to get up before 8 when we come to stay, even if we’re up for ages before then. My dp’s mum would be so excited to get up with us and dd on Christmas morning and open her stocking. Am I making a bit deal out of nothing? I just feel a bit disappointed by my family but maybe I need to accept that other people just aren’t going to be as interested/excited about my kid as I would like! What would your Xmas morning routine be with your wider family?

I would hope that I would get up for my grandchild.

Honestly op id tell you to get in the bin.

You are kidding!!

No doubt the grandparents will be full on all day cooking and hosting. You are seriously suggesting that not being keen on a 6am start makes someone an unloving relative?

good grief. You are mad.

Why can’t parents just delay the gifts and entertain their own kids for a bit?

Id be very happy to say yes I’d love to see the kid open her presents BUT AT A REASONABLE HOUR

That’s what stockings are for, to keep little ones occupied before everyone else has to get up. They can then enjoy her opening the rest of her presents at a more suitable hour. Also it is nice time for just the three of you

YABVU. I'm staying with parents and told my 5yo and 1yo we will not open presents until 9am when the rest of the family will get up. DH and I will be up at 6 with them, open stockings and play games but no way would I expect other adults without kids to be up so early. It's a bit self-centered imo.

No way my child would have been allowed to wake anyone that early that is not fair on anyone

Gift them the lie in. No reason for them to be up early. It's not mean spirited. She's not their kid.

To be honest 6am is too early

Growing up we only had Xmas at our house once, so we were always in other peoples houses.
Santa sacks were at 8am, everyone got up for it but it was a strict time. We had to read or quietly play till 8.
Tree gifts were after lunch. It was a nice way of stretching out the presents and gave us a chance to play with the gifts we had before being overwhelmed with more.

She is your child. It is your job to be up at sparrow's. No one else's. None of my parents or in laws have ever witnessed stocking opening. This is a parent thing to distract kids so people don't have to be up so early.

Our 4 yo will be up about 7 which is decent all things considered. Her brothers (14 and 17) will be up around 10 if we're lucky!

When I was growing up when my brother & I were up, everyone was up. We'd go & waken Mum & Dad who'd then go & waken my Grans and we'd all go down together. This was regardless of the time, though we were always told not to get up before 6am

I can't imagine choosing to stay in bed while my nieces were opening presents. Its one morning, surely it's worth the early rise.

I didn't get up at 6am when my dc were young. It was back to bed until at least 7am. I just told them it was still the middle of the night and Santa was still working and might not have been to our house yet.

yanbu to feel a bit put out but also, unless you would be up at 6 voluntarily when you didn’t have kids - you can sort of see why. My family are like this… they love my kids and are so excited but they just aren’t morning people.

I think that's a shame OP. It's their call to make, but it's not one any of our parents would make. We do all presents downstairs so no stocking in the bedroom. We'll all get up when the first DC wakes and all go down together. The grandparents look forward to it as much as the kids I reckon.

We have relatives staying.

DD will no doubt be up at 6 as it’s her usual time (she slept till 7 this morning mind; felt like I’d had a holiday!) - if not earlier. She’ll open stocking in our bed and to be honest I’m hoping other relatives stay out of the way for that bit! For me, that’s a bit of the day that’s just for us, I don’t really want an audience. We’ll try to put off coming downstairs to see what’s under the tree until 7 ish, but if guests don’t want to come down at that point then fair enough, we’ll do their gifts from us, and from them to DD when they get up and that’s enough.

OP you are being a bit unreasonable.

I love our tradition of snuggling in bed together while the dc open their stockings, just the 4 of us. I wouldn’t massively want anyone else there (sometimes my mum joins in towards the end). Then the rest of the family get to join in the fun of a) hearing about it later (& this also gives dh & me a chance to get ourselves ready etc) and b) join in with tree presents which are the big ones anyway & far more likely to get the wows. Plus because they have all had more sleep than us, they can entertain the dc later while we flop for a bit.

This!!

I totally get your sister not wanting to get up. But your mum and dad are strange not wanting to see their grandchild open presents. Don’t make your DD wait til they get up, let her open it all!

Oh, sod that! I agree with pps I'm afraid. When my dds were little and very early risers, we did the stocking opening in our bed when visiting family and then everyone else got up when they were ready. It's a long old day, there'll be tons of time to watch your dd and I wouldn't be remotely offended if extended family weren't as obliged excited until it suited them a bit better.

I’ll be perfectly honest, I don’t want to get up at 6am tomorrow. However I have children with SEN who don’t understand that at the best of times (my eldest loves banging on my door at this time on a Saturday telling me to get up…). Unlikely I’ll have grandchildren but if it ever was the case, this gran will be happy to see what Santa brings. At 8-9am when she’s feeling more human.

I wouldn’t be getting up at 6.30 on Xmas day. That’s why I chose not to have kids!
I’d happily look at her gifts at 8-9ish when I got up.

You need to keep your daughter entertained from 6am until a reasonable time, eg 8am. “It’s so exciting but we have to wait until everyone is awake before we can see if Father Christmas has been/open presents”. I get it as mine were early risers but I wouldn’t have expected everyone in the house to wake up at the crack of dawn for a toddler, even if it is Christmas day. Not too early to learn a bit of patience.

All extended family awake at 6am when our kids were young.

Getting up at 6 sounds miserable. Everyone will be knackered and grumpy all day. No one is going to care about your daughter the same way you do.

My DD is 22yo , she was 6 months on her first Christmas .
I told her that DH and I had gone to Sainsbury at 6am ( me to the shop, DHt to the gym) on Christmas Eve

"Where was I "? she demanded .
"At home , asleep"

She was raging that I;d gone out and left her at 6 months .......... but my Mum and Dad were staying and my Dad got up at 5.30 to look after baby DD ( and DS who was 3yo) , he insisted . So she wasn't Home Alone as she imagined and was in fact very happy with her Grandad

When there's LOs in the house at Christmas , everyone mucks in . It's a time for children.