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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Xmas day morning - AIBU here?

257 replies

HennyPenny42 · 24/12/2024 22:51

Staying at my parents’ house for Christmas with dp and dd (3), my sister is also here.
Sat around on Xmas Eve chatting about the order of the day tomorrow. I assume my dd will wake early (6ish) and I’m happy for her to have her stocking when she wakes up. I said ‘oh, she’ll probably have everyone up as she’ll be excited and want to show you all what she’s got’. Just got a groan from df, and pointed silence from dm and dsis said ‘she can show me stuff but I’m not getting up’. So if they have their way it’ll be me and dp getting up with dd to do stocking and them emerging 2/3 hours later.
AIBU to think that this is slightly mean spirited on Christmas Day?
They would never dream of letting us having a lie in by taking dd in the morning normally (obviously wouldn’t want that in Xmas day as I want to be there!) and refuse to get up before 8 when we come to stay, even if we’re up for ages before then. My dp’s mum would be so excited to get up with us and dd on Christmas morning and open her stocking. Am I making a bit deal out of nothing? I just feel a bit disappointed by my family but maybe I need to accept that other people just aren’t going to be as interested/excited about my kid as I would like! What would your Xmas morning routine be with your wider family?

OP posts:
Coffeemmmmcoffee · 24/12/2024 23:07

doodoodahdah · 24/12/2024 22:56

I think it's a bit weird that your DM isn't excited to see your DD open her presents, but I guess you can't force them to be interested. Bit of a shame really cos what's the point of having you to stay over to be there on Xmas morning together if you're not interested in your grandchild opening their presents?!

You do know presents don’t have to be opened at the crack of dawn don’t you?

Parents can just give a stocking if they want their kids to open something immediately then rest of gifts are opened later on in the morning or even later that day when everyone else is up.

I think it’s so weird that the whole family is expected to all gather round at 6am to watch a kid tear into all their gifts as they can’t wait a single second.

It would also make the day feel extremely long.

CombatBarbie · 24/12/2024 23:08

Tacocatgoatcheesepizza · 24/12/2024 22:55

I would hate to be woken up at 6am for this to be honest! She can show them what she’s got at 8am surely!

If you were the GPs, I'd be disappointed that you didn't want to be part of the magic of your own grandchildrens Christmas tbh.

If you don't want an early rise, don't invite them.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyea · 24/12/2024 23:09

I find it a bit sad grandparents wouldn’t want to see the opening of presents, but my parents get up anyway around 6, so they’d be up before dd

outerspacepotato · 24/12/2024 23:10

Take a video and show it to everyone over and over after they get up by themselves without loud child assistance and let them have their coffee too.

RaininSummer · 24/12/2024 23:10

Hell no. I did the 'magic' with my own children at that ungodly hour. This one is down to the parents.

TitaniasAss · 24/12/2024 23:11

Well if it were my grandchildren I would be up, but I think that when you stay with other people you have to expect that things may not go exactly the way that you want them to. The only way to ensure that is to stay at home.

Wildywondrous · 24/12/2024 23:11

It's only really the parents that are excited to get up at 6 to see their kids open presents, I did it with mine at that age but it did spoil the day as I was so tired by the end of the afternoon and so didn't enjoy christmas evening.

You say they usually get up at 8 which is fine, 3 year olds tend to take ages opening stuff anyway because they play with things before opening the next present, you'll easily fill a couple of hours before everyone else gets up.
You can always take a few videos of her opening anything that you think she'll be particularly excited about and show them later.

Oddsquadnumber1 · 24/12/2024 23:12

I would absolutely not be getting up at 6am for anyone but my own child. Absolutely not

Dollshousedolly · 24/12/2024 23:12

Personally, I’d prefer to have the excitement of opening the stocking and initial aftermath to ourselves and then everyone else can get up at a more normal. They can still share your DD’s excitement when they do surface by asking what she’s got, etc.

I think if you go downstairs to open the stocking, you need to be quiet as possible leaving your room and going down the stairs so not to wake everyone else.

whyamiawakestillitssolate · 24/12/2024 23:12

If it was my grandchild I’d want to be awake and participating in the magic even if it meant a 6am start. (I think - my dds have never really been up before about 7am so I might not feel as positive at 6 in reality!)

If it was a niece I think I’d rather have the sleep and see the presents later.

FeliznaviDogs · 24/12/2024 23:12

If your DD was 13 I’d understand but she’s only 3….. I’d be overjoyed to be getting up and seeing the Christmas magic effect.. I bet she’ll be giddy with excitement. I think your parents sound pretty miserable. I’d be tempted to stay at my own home if this was how my Parents behaved. Christmas is all about the kids.

buttonousmaximous · 24/12/2024 23:13

I agree they should go along with the child that's who Christmas is for. Maybe suggest stocking in your room when she wakes and then cuddles in bed until 7 and then everyone get up.

Tbh if they spoil it for your dd it would be last Xmas I do there

CarolSwimmer · 24/12/2024 23:14

if they have their way it’ll be me and dp getting up with dd to do stocking and them emerging 2/3 hours later.

erm....yes. that's normal. What's the issue?? You r the parents.

I'd never dream of waking my in-laws (or mum before she died) up before 8am on Christmas morning. Usually I hoped they and other family members could sleep in after 9am. They deserve a lie in on Christmas day.

Kids wake early, their parents help them with opening stocking etc.. and then when everyone else is up later in the morning, do all the other under the tree presents etc..

I think you sound incredibly selfish wanting to wake the whole house up early. It's their Christmas too.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 24/12/2024 23:15

I'm with you OP...but then, before I had my own children I would drive to my sisters for 7am to watch my nephew open his gifts!

RandomUsernameHere · 24/12/2024 23:15

We are also staying with DParents, DCs will get up stupidly early and open just the stocking presents first. They will wait until everyone is up to open the rest of the presents.

Nogaxeh · 24/12/2024 23:16

I always felt that the point of a stocking was to provide a child with enough small presents to keep them entertained and in bed for a few hours so that they would not get up until the adults were ready for them to do so.

OolongTeaDrinker · 24/12/2024 23:17

So if they have their way it’ll be me and dp getting up with dd to do stocking and them emerging 2/3 hours later

Jeez, it's not like they are staying in bed until mid-day. Let the poor people have their lie-in on Christmas day - 6am is way too early to wake up on what will be a busy day. In our family, parents always do the stockings with their own kids and wider family presents later on with everyone else there. I couldn't imagine expecting anyone else to get up while it is still dark.

CarolSwimmer · 24/12/2024 23:17

OolongTeaDrinker · 24/12/2024 23:17

So if they have their way it’ll be me and dp getting up with dd to do stocking and them emerging 2/3 hours later

Jeez, it's not like they are staying in bed until mid-day. Let the poor people have their lie-in on Christmas day - 6am is way too early to wake up on what will be a busy day. In our family, parents always do the stockings with their own kids and wider family presents later on with everyone else there. I couldn't imagine expecting anyone else to get up while it is still dark.

Exactly this.

ShortyShorts · 24/12/2024 23:18

When my own kids were little I wouldn't get up at 6am with them!

8 or 9 is fine OP.

mynameiscalypso · 24/12/2024 23:18

I make my own child (5) stay in bed until at least 7.30. No way would I get up for anyone else's child.

TwinklyAmberOrca · 24/12/2024 23:20

8am is sensible! My DCs have a grow clock and are not allowed out their rooms until 7am.

My parents are staying so they'll get woken up first and hopefully I'll get to sleep in til 8am!!!

mrsm43s · 24/12/2024 23:21

I wouldn't allow my child to get up at 6 a.m., let alone allow her to disturb the rest of house. 8 a.m.is reasonable for weekends or holidays, 7.30 at a push.

evtheria · 24/12/2024 23:22

Nogaxeh · 24/12/2024 23:16

I always felt that the point of a stocking was to provide a child with enough small presents to keep them entertained and in bed for a few hours so that they would not get up until the adults were ready for them to do so.

I may specifically buy things because I know they will keep DS occupied until a more humane hour!

Iwishiwasagiraffe · 24/12/2024 23:22

I think you’re unreasonable to expect the entire household to get up at 6am just because your dd is up. I would never expect that off my family. Especially if your parents are hosting and need to do all the cooking too

ChocolatePodge · 24/12/2024 23:22

I understand your disappointment, I don't think I'd stay with them again next year, the pressure to keep a small excited child quiet and not allow them to show off their stocking gifts would be too much for me 🤣 no point doing Christmas together if they miss one of the main events.

Having said that my mum is always more excited than my youngest I think, she loves watching him open his stocking. Even my eldest (22) pretends to be awake and lucid for the event. Though it is always quick and if too early we all enjoy going back to bed afterwards while he admires what he's got and waits for the other gifts at a more reasonable time. They are little for such a short time, I can't imagine wanting to miss that as a grandparent.

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