To feel a bit disappointed that he didn't get me anything for Christmas?

[Feelingabitsillyatxmas1]

I've name changed anticipating being told I'm "grabby" but I'd like some outsider perspective on whether you think I'm being unreasonable.

New boyfriend. 4 months. Had the exclusive chat and we have both said we have feelings for one another.

It was his birthday last week. I bought him a present. It didn't feel odd to do so, we've spent a lot of time together by this point.

Fast forward to Christmas, I got him a Christmas present. He hasn't got one for me (but has kept me updated about the things he's buying everyone else).

We spent yesterday together and I thought I'd at least leave with a Christmas card if not a box of chocolates or something. Nothing.

I'm feeling a bit stupid for buying things for him now 😔

AIBU (for 1) buying him gifts early on and 2) feeling the way I do now.

I didn't tell her to hang onto a useless man - I said there is time yet, and if he doesn't, only she knows if he is good in all other respects and just needs some training - some men just need educating!

I just think people are jumping the gun a bit. If he doesn't produce a present then fair enough but there is still time.

Actually howled at this. (I've had a number of brandies so am feeling tipsy and happy anyway! 😆)

No you wouldn’t after 4 months and it isn’t being coy either ffs

he should be on his best behaviour and want to impress he isn’t stupid and knows what tomorrow is. Token pressie would suffice.

And if he hasn't, he may have been burnt in the past or didn't want to be too keen - he will of realised his mistake by now if that is the case

Here we go again if a man says he has been burnt in the past , "used" for money all sorts of excuses are made if he treats his next partner as if shes going to do the same.

But if a woman has been burnt in the past (usually cheated on) she is hauled over the coals on here if she dares to even mention that she has trouble trusting her next partner and told that he is a different person Good ol" MN double standards.

Well even if OPs boyf has been burnt in the past SHE is a differrent person.

You are just jumping to conclusions and making the post about my opinion and not the questions the OP asked. I stand by my comments and it has to be taken on a case by case basis whether they are male or female and only the OP knows if he is worth it or not.

Maybe @Feelingabitsillyatxmas1 wants a partner not a project!

I agree and that is her choice, all I am saying is its not too late and there maybe reasons and only she is in a position to judge when she knows the outcome.

Do you seriously think this guy is santa and managed to get in op’s house and slip in a present under her tree without her noticing? Really?

He might of visited her house when he last saw her and slipped it under the Christmas tree as a surprise.

He could drop it off on his way somewhere tomorrow, depending on the size he could put it through the letterbox - it ain't Christmas yet!

And if he doesn't, she then gets to decide if he is worth it.

Well we will see but I highly doubt a present will have miraculously made it under op’s tree without 1. Op noticing the present in bf’s hands when he brought it into her house 2. Op noticing a present had been placed under her tree without her knowledge and 3. Op received present through her letterbox in the morning without all the gift wrap being shredded off during the process.
My I thought I had a big imagination but yours absolutely trumps that lol.
BTW you keep saying it’s not Xmas yet but in just over half an hour it will be officially Xmas lol!

Chocolate will fit through letterboxes, as will some types of jewellery etc, never say never.

All I am saying is its still early to write him off, it could appear anything tomorrow.

You seem to be getting very annoyed with me about this but my opinion is my opinion and I'm not going to change it just because you disagree.

But it isn't Christmas yet. Maybe he's going to surprise you!?

Like I said, we will see. But I do feel that myself and other posters are going to be correct here. He has had plenty of time to buy op a gift and give it to her. And op has already said they both have other commitments tomorrow so won’t be seeing each other. It also doesn’t look like he has arranged with op to drop any gift off and not sure why he’d post it through her letterbox when he can just knock on her door. But anyway I’m off to bed now so I’m sure we will find out tomorrow.

And I aren't saying you are wrong but there is still time for him to do something and if he doesn't she can decided then.

I wonder if he's lying about the gifts he's bought for other people, the way he said he was buying you perfume? Maybe he's so tight he doesn't buy gifts for anyone but pretends he does to save face. Bin him.

Thank you all!

I don't think he will turn up tomorrow with a present as he will have his DC for Christmas but I'll update if he does.

We've well surpassed the window for him ordering something to be delivered now.

Yes to knowing where I live. He stayed over on Sunday night and didn't go home until 7pm on the Monday as he didn't have work. He definitely didn't leave anything under my tree.

Somebody asks who pays for dates - we've both paid for things but upon reflection, and I wasn't totting up at the time, I've definitely paid out more.

We earn a similar amount, if what he tells me is true.

It was Tom Ford that I bought him for Christmas. It costs more than I would generally spend on perfume for myself. I got it for him because he said it was his favourite 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

He definitely has bought gifts for others as I've seen some of them and know what they are. They're really nice gifts too.

Sorry he's let you down like this.

Why, why on earth did you provide him the club card info???????

Sometimes I feel that women want to be doormats.

"Not handy, sorry."

That was all you needed to respond with.

Oh, he has DC, too? Why am I not surprised.

aaaaaaaaaargh god I’m so pissed off for you

How disappointing. Don't feel stupid for buying a present for him just don't bother again. He's got kids... let him go... you deserve more.

He has children yeah. I don't.

He's having his boys stay for Christmas and they're all going to the grandparents on the day so for that reason alone I doubt he has any intention to come round with any presents for me. But we will see.

"Clubcard cunt" has really made me laugh, if nothing materialises over the next week I'll set that as his contact name 😂

It is adding insult to injury isn't it? That went completely over my head.

I probably have contributed to his tonic with my card aswell!

Look after yourself OP chalk this up as an experience. Have a lovely christmas knowing that you dodged a massive bullet.

Whether or not he realises it, it's a power play. He is testing where the balance of power in your relationship is, and so far it's very firmly on his side.

While I think your present was rather over the top for such an early relationship, it was generous and thoughtful. As you had already given him a birthday present, he should have known perfectly well you would give him a Christmas present.

In my opinion, this is not a matter for discussion and negotiation and apologies and promises to do things better in the future. It's a mark of who he is, and you deserve better. Keep your bar high here and value yourself higher than he values you.