DH having a rant at me

[Bettib00]

My car was in the garage and my parents' car was in front of the garage so we took my husband's car to go shopping.

My husband's car takes a while to heat up, as it's an older car (15 reg), whilst my car heats up quickly.

Whilst in the car I twice mentioned it was cold and I also expressed concern that the car is probably cold when he drops our children off at school in the morning.

He turned up the heat but I mentioned my feet were still cold. He shook his head and went on a nasty rant about how I have to complain about something every day to him, and he didn't want to listen to me anymore. He proceed to recounted everything I had complained about that was which was a complete exaggeration.

I have hyperthyroidism and a whole host of other problems and I an ND. I was really upset at DH comments. We didn't speak yesterday or today. He will apologise but I don't want to forgive him. He is always belittling me and my feelings.
Shouslnt your husband listen, just listen, without exceptation.

Most people on this thread think you sound like an irritating moaner.

Are you taking any of this on board?

You asked MN's opinion - and 96% have said you ARE being unreasonable.

Will you apologize to him now you have your answer?

No, you were insulting him about his car and covering up by claiming it was about your “feelings”.

Op, why bother with an AIBU if you’re not going to listen?

Are you going to continue being a martyr or take on board that many others agree with your husband that you are being unreasonable?

But it sounds like you get upset at absolutely non events… you knew the car was cold. Take some personal responsibility. You’re not a child.

just Ask the children to wear their coats on the school journey until the weather is warmer. There, fixed that for you.

What were you hoping to achieve by telling him you were cold so many times? Did you think he didn’t hear you the first time you told him?

Living with a moaner is so draining. Nothing is ever good enough. There’s no occasion that can’t be turned negative by someone who treats you like you’re their personal complaints department and there to fix all of life’s ills. You might think that you’re just commenting on how you feel and all you want from him is to tell you that he hears you, he feels sorry that you’re unhappy and it will heat up in a few minutes. But what you’re actually doing is chipping away at him, bit by bit, and getting him to the point where he can’t bear to listen to you for another minute.

I don’t think he should apologise. It sounds like he’s rapidly coming to the end of his tether with you and, in your shoes, I’d be looking to make some serious changes before he starts thinking about how peaceful his life would be without you in it. You need to apologise to him.

My DH does this, it drives me insane. First time he says something we may discuss it, second time I say, yes I know. Third time or onwards, I just repeat ‘you’ve said’.

As someone else said, there is literally nothing he can do about it. The kids won’t die going to school in a cold car. I imagine it’s warmer than walking.

YABU, YABU, etc.
Hyperthyroidism?
The general rule is you are hot as hell most of the time.
I have got both your conditions as well. They don't come with tendency to complain a lot. 😉

Sorry but you do sound like you were just moaning for the sake of it. I’m sure your children would survive the school run! You can put on extra layers if need be. What did you want him to do, get out there an hour in advance and warm the car up for her Royal Highness?!

Absolutely. Marriage is about give and take. But he’s telling you that you are complaining to him about something every single day. How many times is he ill or bedridden? You are taking far, far more than you are giving.

But what would being ‘there for you’ look like in this situation? You moaned you were cold. He put the heating on. You moaned again. And again. And suggested your children were suffering. What did you want him to say or do?
No doubt he’s aware his car is cold, he’s the one who has to drive round in it.

You're constantly moaning expect your husband to put up with it.

If OP’s husband comes here to make a thread please can someone tag me

I suspected she meant hypothyroidism, so that's why I put it in my post.

You are right though. Hyperthyroidism (I've been there too) generally makes the sufferer feel too hot, amongst other things. Hypothyroidism tends to cause them to feel cold.

BUY A BLANKET FOR THE CAR

so you know the car doesn’t heat up for a while, it’s the only car currently available to use and you know it isn’t your DHs fault that it’s chilly and yet you complain about it. What, precisely, would you like him to do about it ?

I bet if the roles were reversed this thread would eventually degenerate into you being told LTB

Merry Christmas to you too.

What exactly did you want him to do about you being cold in the car?

It’s winter for fucks sake, and many of us with older cars have to bare a few minutes of chillyness before they heat up.

You’d love my car OP. It’s a 58 plate and will take longer than your husbands car to warm up.

Get a grip.

OP - AIBU?
Nearly every reply - yes
OP - No I am not

But you were not bedridden, so I'm not sure you have a valid comparisons - you were momentarily cold whilst the car warmed up. That scenario doesn't need "support".

I hope you are not passing on this lack of resilience and complaining to your children.

It’ll be like that one the other day where the vast majority of people told the OP she was being unreasonable and she clung on to the fact that three people and a gerbil thought she wasn’t as “proof” she was right…

Surely if you were sat in the front passenger seat you had full access to the heating controls? So you could have changed the heat direction to your feet yourself.

Agreed. Op sounds like a pain here

You sound annoying. Not everything you think needs to be said.

Yes I think your poor DH needs a break. You sound utterly exhausting and will no doubt use the ND card to try and help you.