Disgusted by inability to delay gratification

[KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge]

We get the usual "special" foods for Christmas. Most of them (chocs, cake, etc) are put away upstairs, but the collection of posh cheeses are in the fridge.

I've just found out DH has eaten a big chunk of one cheese, and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink. He says he'll go and buy replacements. I have said that is not the point.
These are expensive treats for us.
In my family, Christmas didn't start until Christmas day. DH and I discussed this, and agreed a compromise this year that we would start eating the nice stuff on Christmas Eve for a change (just us two in the eve, big family meal on the day itself).

I am disgusted - this shows a total lack of self control and ability to delay gratification - he is like a five-year-old with no self control. He is just destroying the sense of anticipation and looking forward to sharing the treats together.

Would this give you the rage?

He hasn't done either of those things though. He's had a bit of cheese and a drink. He's not "scoffed" anything. Eating some cheese isn't hacking at a turkey. It's cheese; cutting off a piece to eat isn't ruining it for anyone else. OP can still eat it when she chooses. Why does one person get to dictate the "special date?"

I get where you're coming from OP, but having a sneaky little bit of something that you really shouldn't never gets old. Nothing tastes better.

I think there are extremes though - no one should be cutting a chunk out of a cake before a big day. But no one would notice a little bit of cheese, if i was your husband I'd go wide eyed and say it must have been the mice!

How comes you get to decide when he can eat it? He's an adult. He's also said he will replace it, so you've not missed out. Very controlling.

It's Christmas time, chill out.

Too many people to reply to individually.

Totally agree it is a 'season', not just a couple of days. Just for me the season starts on 25th and runs until at least the 5th Jan.

I am not joyless - I love the joy of the excitement and anticipation.

For me the turkey dinner is no big deal. It is just a roast, with a few extra veg. We often have a Sunday roast. So that meal is not "the main event" - it is all the other treats like cheese and chocs that make the day special.

But it does seem I am old fashioned in this regard, I see the majority start sometime in December, or after school breaks up or annual leave starts.

Does nobody enjoy the waiting and anticipating special events?

I recall reading something years ago about learning delayed gratification being a key life skill and indicator of success. People who can't do it, who spend now instead of saving for later, have worse outcomes overall.

I'm quite happy to leave the non run of the mill food that we buy until Christmas Eve but DH has been troughing his way through since Friday afternoon (God knows where he puts it, he's fit and a healthy weight). He's off to Waitrose and ASDA tomorrow (we don't care, if a supermarket has something nice at Christmas we buy it) to replace all the things he's hoovered up that I haven't had a sniff of. I'll smile and wish him good luck.

I bloody well left my camembert wreath in the work fridge today by mistake. It is just aswell otherwise I would have demolished it tonight.

Yabu- it's the festive session. He is allowed to pick and nibble at the Xmas treats if he likes, along as it isn't the main dinner!

Does nobody enjoy the waiting and anticipating special events?

It's a bit of cheese

I had a cocktail while cooking dinner today because it is the Christmas season and we are in the holidays.

Is a day when you're having a big roast the best day to also really appreciate delicious cheese and other treats though?

Is your DH shit with money? If so you've got a point. If not though then you clearly don't!

The thing is, OP, maybe you enjoy the delayed gratification, but other people don't. Apparently your husband doesn't, and that's OK.

Don't impose your own particularly rigid viewpoint on others.

I used to think like you, OP, to the extent that I ignored decorations until Christmas Eve. What I have come to understand is that Christmas is a season, not 24 hours, and the way that it works now, it’s almost all over on Boxing Day. So spread the goodwill and cheer, don’t get in the way. You never know what’s round the corner

Most of us aren’t hosting at Sandringham though so a full ‘cheese course’ really isn’t necessary. But I was raised working class and the validity of cheese in the Christmas Day line up is unknown territory for me. I’m more of the ‘we got Cathedral City rather than Supermarket Brand for Christmas so please slice it smaller to make it last’ type of cheese person…

Having to wait until Xmas day before you can start eating the good stuff sounds Dickensian to me. We start with the treat foods as soon as DC finish for the holidays. For instance, we had churros with chocolate sauce for breakfast on Saturday morning. 😜

You have turned it into some 'delayed gratification' complicated scenario

I think there are certain foods more readily available or think more the buy them at Christmas so people buy these foods and eat them when they want which is one benefit of being a grown up eating when you want and not having someone get hysterical when you do because they have some issues going on

We eat our Christmas cheese out of bowls on the sofa, wearing our pajamas and drinking a glass of wine or Baileys. Centrepiece indeed 😂

Does nobody enjoy the waiting and anticipating special events?
I recall reading something years ago about learning delayed gratification being a key life skill and indicator of success. People who can't do it, who spend now instead of saving for later, have worse outcomes overall.

Sorry to break it to you but everyone waits a year for Christmas. You’re not extra special just because you lock up the mince pies until the 25th.

I think you’re referring to the Marshamallow test OP, and it is a salient point. However, Christmas is the one time of the year when the usual rules don’t apply - especially with food!

But those are YOUR feelings OP. It doesn't mean they are right. The turkey isn't a big deal to you- fine. It is to others. You DH is allowed to have different opinions.

I recall reading something years ago about learning delayed gratification being a key life skill and indicator of success.

Im pretty sure that was Sting and his wife overindulging us with their sex life and not about Tescos Extra Special Brie…

You're thinking of the marshmallow experiment which in fact was later debunked as it was primarily socio economic background that led to ability to delay gratification ie children who have abundance in life are better able to control impulse because they are sure they can have something to eat later. And social economic status is a good predictor of later socio economic status.

You just have different idea of Christmas. I don't like the sound of your Christmas meal if I'm honest but that's because we're different. No big deal. I don't care really how you want to celebrate and I'm sure you don't care about me. But maybe just cut DH some slack?

I never think it's a good idea to save everything for one day or one day and evening in this case. What if someone is ill on the actual day.
Also what if you are too full up with the big meal to enjoy the extra, snacky bits. I think it's much better and much nicer to spread it out. Also I would be really upset if my partner said they were disgusted with me for eating something. I think if he wants to relax the rules that's up to him.

Good lord, we're talking about some cheese and wine, not saving for retirement, or studying for exams.

This!

My first Christmas party was 21 November, we have had Christmas food in since before then, we buy it , it gets eaten or drunk. We buy it again twas always the same.

Oh - you sound like my mother. “That’s for Christmas”. “Save it until Christmas”. And, of course, Christmas comes around and nobody feels like eating a load of cake after a massive roast dinner. And same on Boxing Day after a huge buffet. And there’d invariably be a cupboard full of gone off goodies that we’d then be given in February, way past their best, when we’d have enjoyed them a heck of a lot more in the first week of December. Unless you’re on a super tight budget and your DH has been eating the one and only packet of mince pies, leave him to it. He’s an adult and he’s entitled to define the Christmas season as he sees fit. I now make a point of scoffing mince pies as soon as they hit the shops (which I think was October this year) and enjoying the anticipation (and the nice fresh taste!).