Disgusted by inability to delay gratification

[KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge]

We get the usual "special" foods for Christmas. Most of them (chocs, cake, etc) are put away upstairs, but the collection of posh cheeses are in the fridge.

I've just found out DH has eaten a big chunk of one cheese, and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink. He says he'll go and buy replacements. I have said that is not the point.
These are expensive treats for us.
In my family, Christmas didn't start until Christmas day. DH and I discussed this, and agreed a compromise this year that we would start eating the nice stuff on Christmas Eve for a change (just us two in the eve, big family meal on the day itself).

I am disgusted - this shows a total lack of self control and ability to delay gratification - he is like a five-year-old with no self control. He is just destroying the sense of anticipation and looking forward to sharing the treats together.

Would this give you the rage?

Light the good candles.
Wear the nice perfume.
Eat the lovely cheese.

Hands up to guilt! I had two pieces of a large tobelone tonight. My excuse is that I don’t usually eat chocolate due to on going dieting, but it beckoned its tantalising paw to me and I succumbed! I would let you DH off this time!

You sound A LOT like my (controlling, shaming) mother. Hopefully your husband is able to shrug off your 'disgust' rather than internalizing it.

The joint occasion can still happen for her, there is enough. I said I wouldn't give a monkey's if some was snaffled before. Op is not being put out by it.

Just had a thought, I ate someone's Christmas present a few weeks ago and had to buy a replacement 😅.

Life will be a lot easier if you unclench. It's not Christmas yet but it's definitely Christmas season.

It’s not really about whether treats start one day or another, the contempt and disgust you feel for someone having a treat on a different schedule to yours is really concerning.

I won’t still be having treats in early January but it doesn’t make me feel contempt or disgust to hear that you will be.

"inability to delay gratification"

Who even talks like that? You sound like a robot who has written into an AI chatbot and posted it here. At first, I genuinely thought the thread was about inability to delay ejaculation!

But you come across, to me, as a thoroughly nasty and a grinch. I don't know how your husband bears it. Aren't you even a little bit ashamed? Uptight, highly strung, super strict don't even cover it. The normal done thing is to enjoy Christmas Eve drinks and snacks and cheeses. That's the normal procedure. Waiting until some arbitrary movement of the clock until you can eat Christmas seasonal snacks and drinks is simply not normal. You did not grow up normal, sorry. Its sad that you were deprived growing up, but your husband is absolutely normal. And if my selfish uptight husband told me I couldn't enjoy Christmas seasonal food and drinks until right on Christmas day, he'd be told in no uncertain terms to go and get fucked! You have a very patient husband. Far too patient....

Thought this was going to be about sex 😱

Weirdly controlling….I mean if he busted open the Christmas pud, or cooked the Turkey then yes I’d be annoyed- they’re harder to replace and he likely wouldn’t eat it all so very wasteful. It’s a packet of cheese- get a grip.

There’s no way I’d want to be eating rubbish throughout January either.

It seems almost no-one waits for Christmas day anymore. What does that say about us as a society?

What on earth are you on about? It says nothing. It’s a festive season. The festive season starts when people start on the season which will be different times for different folks as everyone has different situations.

My DH started his holidays, i.e. festive season, at 5pm last Friday. At that point he cracked open the wine and got out some nibbles. The man has been half-pickled since🤣. I will start my festive season at the end of business on 24th and will then join him in festivities. I don’t expect him to sit there and stare at the wall and wait for me so we share a piece of cheese, how odd! We will still have enough festive food for Xmas day and a few days after. The aim is to get through to New Year, and if for some reason it runs out, we will simply get some more at the shops to see us out through New Year, it’s not a lockdown!! No way I will tell him when his festive season starts, he’s an adult, he knows when it starts for him and I know when it starts for me.

Controlling, miserly and very out dated.

Can't you discuss the dilemma without repeating personally insulting the OP?

I grew up the same and it’s how I’ve lived for 40 years. This year, no more. We are enjoying the Christmas holiday rather than Christmas Day. It feels quite exciting! We’ve already polished off a yule log and some Pringles 😅😄

It looks like this is more of a YOU rather than DH problem.
I'm not saying you should do something special and eat something special for Christmas, but how do you go on about it? Salivate for days and then come Christmas day you sit on the sofa and stuff yourself with special stuff like hamsters for the next two days? Then the stomach pains come and you're crushing down from your high sugar and high lactose high?
Live a little @KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge That tradition where you keep away people from expensive food items for days because it's not the right time yet and then you chase after them to eat it so it doesn't spoil - does it make sense? Because that's how it usually ends up.

Imagine living with such a killjoy? A piece of fucking cheese and a drink?

That we don’t all have a stick lodged where one shouldn’t be!

I thought this was going to be a juicy thread about bedroom antics and now I’m disappointed

It's an interesting one. My stepmum used to insist that wait until Christmas Day to eat the special food, which was boxed up in the fridge. Then we would be so excited that we would eat far too much of it far too quickly. Once older, I realised that she suffered from DE and used to binge and purge. It felt like she controlled the food to mirror her own needs, because as children we would have enjoyed some treat food from school breaking up onwards.

I understand why you are upset about the lack of waiting to share a special meal together but your initial wording was very strong. 'Disgusted' is normally used when people are judging themselves and projecting that onto others, in my experience.

Your writing style reminds me of Eleanor Oliphant. Personally I dislike when festive food hangs around, I definitely don't want to be eating mince pies and stilton in January.

Btw my mother is from a Catholic background and does the food saving thing all year round, it leads to a lot of food being thrown out and overstuffed food storage which are both stressful.

Life is very short OP. Eat the cheese, drink the drink and have a merry Christmas.

I really don't think it's anything to do with being Catholic. I grew up in a big RC family and community and there was none of this.
Being disgusted and getting the rage with her husband over this is something that the OP willl have to address.

If this is all you have to be disgusted about then you are very blessed.

He ate some cheese and had a drink. Both of which he's said he will replace.

Belt up.

Completely get this re my ex - be it food, drink etc. He'd leave empty packages in the fridge / freezer and a thimble full of the posh Port / Cognac and my gifted Booze from friends who were kind enough to use their duty free allowance knowing I liked their country of origin Rum. Would come home and there would literally be a swirl at the bottom of the bottle. I would also take ages makes ice cubes (this is 30 years ago), decanting frozen cubes into zip lock and repeat till I had I had a nice stock. I'd come back from work looking forward to a G&T - no gin, tonic or ice but an empty bag in freezer and rapidly evaporating thimble full of Gin. He claimed he didn't like chocolates or desserts. I'm the weirdo that just fancies a square of nice chocolate every so often - all gone. If we were out at a family serve style restaurant he'd literally shovel in as much as he could before being able to engage in conversation then complain he wanted to go because I or others hadn't finished - and if I had a pudding - he'd eat it; 'just have a taste'.

I agree with you, id be ' mildly' annoyed. I think Xmas eve is a good time to start otherwise it detracts from the specialness of Xmas indulgence. That said I had some blue cheese and quince yesterday and I felt a bit bad that I didn't wait one more day

Our indulging goes on in an ‘on and off’ way right through December once around the 20th we go all out. Tubs of chocolate, wine, beer, picky teas. I couldn’t wait until Christmas Day.
if you want yo wait then go for it, it’s your tradition, but you can’t impose that on a grown man with his own traditions or wants. I would be annoyed that he attacked the good stuff but he’s already said he’ll replace it so as long as he does. Next year suggest he gets extra stuff to tide him over until you both start