Disgusted by inability to delay gratification

[KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge]

We get the usual "special" foods for Christmas. Most of them (chocs, cake, etc) are put away upstairs, but the collection of posh cheeses are in the fridge.

I've just found out DH has eaten a big chunk of one cheese, and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink. He says he'll go and buy replacements. I have said that is not the point.
These are expensive treats for us.
In my family, Christmas didn't start until Christmas day. DH and I discussed this, and agreed a compromise this year that we would start eating the nice stuff on Christmas Eve for a change (just us two in the eve, big family meal on the day itself).

I am disgusted - this shows a total lack of self control and ability to delay gratification - he is like a five-year-old with no self control. He is just destroying the sense of anticipation and looking forward to sharing the treats together.

Would this give you the rage?

I’ve just opened the Baileys and I started on the cheese yesterday. Shoot me.

I don't know anyone who considers Christmas Day the first day of the festive period. Surely everyone starts at some point in December and ends after New Year's Day don't they?

OP I think you're imagining rules around dates for Christmas and trying to take moral high ground over which dates the food can be eaten it's really odd.

Many many people now do dry January or Veganuary - January is seen as month by many for reining it in not indulging in chocolate and cheese you've been aching to eat for ages. Also your obsession with driving yourself mad with temptation isn't healthy and won't make for healthy eating habits. Much better to have a bit of what you fancy as and when.

The lights are lit in every town and city, trees are up and decorated, people are going to events and parties.... because the Christmas season has begun.

Wrong - food is absolutely about pleasure for me. Delayed pleasure, deliciously anticipated, and all the more special for the waiting.

This description made be absolutely boke 🤢

You're a deviant OP.

You’re being controlling and weird and dictatorial. Let the grown up man eat when he wants to, and you eat when you want to… simple.

It's only a bit of cheese and a drink.
I think you need to lighten up.
I would hate if my partner was so controlling about what I ate and when.

I started last week on the Prosecco. I'm on my fourth replacement bottle, but I plan to open the port this evening which should slow me down...

I do think you're being very extreme and restrictive.

It is Christmas! Everyone should have a Merry time!

Believe me, I have no trouble whatsoever turning that judgement and criticism onto myself. That is after all the heart of Catholicism.

Nobody does, @JuniperJungl .
I went to a Christmas do a week ago. All my neighbours have had lights and decorations up for a couple of weeks!
Thinking everything should start on the 25th is definitely strange.

Maybe it’s a bit badly worded by OP, but I do get the gist. DH and I have been opening certain food items, but one of us will suggest it, and the other will say, “Oh, go on then!” And we enjoy it together. It sounds like OP’s DH did the opening and eating in his own, and OP came downstairs the following morning and saw that the cheese course had already been started. FWIW, DH and I haven’t touched the cheese course yet, and there would be great offense if one of us suggested it. We draw the line at the cheese board. 🧀

Yabu. Food is for eating not saving. Very judgemental language about someone you presumably love. Chill out, it’s no big deal.

I start my Christmas eating build up in July, and tail it off just after Christmas in about May.

Everything @Sunflowermoonbeam said. Does it really matter; in the grander scheme of things?

Sorry for your loss @Sunflowermoonbeam .

not really.

we buy it all on the 22/23, dig in from the evening of the 23rd (xmas day dinner food aside) and once its gone, its gone. we certainly don't 'replenish' it.

Maybe i should sit here and judgement of those of you clear gluttons who keep rebuying it to extend the holiday... only i won't because i accept other people do christmas differently.

Proof that not all heroes wear capes....

Cheesus Christ lighten up 🎄

YABU - 'disgusted at his lack of ability to delay gratification' This is really controlling behaviour on your part. Have you had any food issues in the past?

OP I can see you're in a minority here - which means I am too... 🤷‍♀️ I get annoyed because my husband can't know 'treat' food and drink is in the cupboard without being having to gorge on it... and I do mean gorge... he has no 'off' switch. As I'm dishing up supper, he's stuffing slices of cheese into his mouth straight from the open fridge; and a minute after laying down his fork, he's cramming so many biscuits in that he can barely breathe...

It's annoying because I will be looking forward to something only to find it's gone... and no, 'we can buy more' doesn't cut it, especially as I'm the only driver so would have to stay sober, get out of my pyjamas and haul ass to the shop after supper, and that's even if it's open. Sometimes you just think 'I'll have that cake I've been looking forward to.' Nah. Gone. 'I'll get another one for you tomorrow'. I don't want it tomorrow, I wanted it NOW.

I know it goes back to his mother who showed affection through feeding... but it's hard to feel sympathy for that when he's eating my fucking food...

Me too. My husband did the food shopping and brought home 2 boxes ( not big ones) of Quality Street. We have one each. He hasn't opened his yet and we've had them in the house for a week. I have and I've only got about 5 left. When mine are all gone they're gone. I wouldn't dream of starting on his. It's his choice to wait and its my choice to eat mine before Christmas even starts. He is him and I am me. We've been together for 23 years.I met him when he was a young widower. His wife died just before Christmas in 2000. There are many things that matter. Someone fancying cheese before the date YOU have decreed is the official day of the Holy cheese isn't one of them. If he'd eaten all the cheese he could go and buy some more.

I recall reading something years ago about learning delayed gratification being a key life skill and indicator of success. People who can't do it, who spend now instead of saving for later, have worse outcomes overall.

This and your subsequent comments about being judgemental of people that cannot delay gratification is so pretentious, and that is saying a lot considering some of the threads on here

You do you but your DH has the right to do what he wants in his own house too. Why does it need to be your way or no way?

But I'm guessing he didn't agree to the rules?

I started my Christmas cake today. The Christmas Baileys got drunk a week ago.

We have to wait a year for Christmas - well, at least 9 months until the shops start selling Christmas foods but I like to wait until December before starting to embrace the season.

I recall reading something years ago about learning delayed gratification being a key life skill and indicator of success. People who can't do it, who spend now instead of saving for later, have worse outcomes overall
You can’t extrapolate eating the nice cheese before Christmas Day to failing in life. I know from personal experience.

Here’s a poem you might enjoy, @KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge . Or not.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/56159/this-is-just-to-say

@Compash it's not the same. The OP isn't binge eating or over eating. He's having some Christmas food at Christmas time.