Disgusted by inability to delay gratification

[KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge]

We get the usual "special" foods for Christmas. Most of them (chocs, cake, etc) are put away upstairs, but the collection of posh cheeses are in the fridge.

I've just found out DH has eaten a big chunk of one cheese, and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink. He says he'll go and buy replacements. I have said that is not the point.
These are expensive treats for us.
In my family, Christmas didn't start until Christmas day. DH and I discussed this, and agreed a compromise this year that we would start eating the nice stuff on Christmas Eve for a change (just us two in the eve, big family meal on the day itself).

I am disgusted - this shows a total lack of self control and ability to delay gratification - he is like a five-year-old with no self control. He is just destroying the sense of anticipation and looking forward to sharing the treats together.

Would this give you the rage?

Nice one!

Agree that restricting stuff to Christmas day is a bit controlling
But the fact he helped himself to nice cheeses and an entire bottle of drink without offering to share is off.

When I was about 7 I used to sneak the ends from blocks of marzipan convinced no one would notice.

I thought this thread was going to be about premature ejaculation from the title!

OP, you say rage might be too strong a word but "disgusted" is also very strong. As others have said, unless what he consumed was an integral ingredient of another meal, then why shouldn't he?

Maybe some of us don't wait for Christmas day because we're bloody working then. Today and tomorrow are the only days my husband and I have together until New Years Eve and then I'm back at work on New Years day. I'm not sure what it says about you that the possibility of some households not being able to celebrate on 'the day' doesn't seem to have crossed your mind.

Oh heck I ate the fudge from the Xmas cupboard today 😱 cheese is intact in fridge though. Our Xmas starts on Xmas Ève so I’m only a day early

We finished work on Friday. It's been awesome nibbles for days now

For me the "special occasion" isn't just one day- it's the festive period. Surely he hasn't eaten "ALL" the nice food?! I think being "disgusted" is a really harsh reaction. You obviously can't help how you feel though - but I think you need to reflect on why this has prompted such a strong reaction. Do other things about your partner "disgust" you? Have you told him this is how you feel? I'd be really hurt if my partner told me I disgusted them.

I would hate to have a partner who policed my eating this way. Why do you get to dictate when Christmas starts?

Who says he has prematurely cracked into the snacks anyway? He may be practising delayed gratification actually because he's been waiting to eat it, until now. It's just a case of perspective.

I'm beginning to think this is just a goady thread now anyway so you can wax lyrical about lost moral values and feel morally superior through the medium of cheese.

I thought this thread was going to be about premature ejaculation from the title!

This is the thread that keeps on giving 😂

I have great pleasure in breaking open the nuts, or eating a hot mince pie from the oven by myself. Solo, casual, luxurious snacking is one of the best bits of Christmas. My dh has is currently starting on the cheese….

This doesn’t bother me. I would be cross if sometime ate elements of the actual dinner but DP is an adult he can eat what he wants?

One of the best & accurate phrases I heard for the first time when I joined MN is " performative under eating" I've had an ED since dinosaurs roamed the Earth but it never came down to randomers suggesting I was a pig for opening a selection box BEFORE the 25th 😆

Sorry for forgetting that waiting means abstaining from cheese. 😳Do be sure to inform all global makers of advent calendars, often featuring edible treats, and backdate it over a century

Er, ok.

Do you genuinely not understand that it’s completely fine for people to view things like this differently?

Or that people who like to crack open the cheese the week before Christmas (or whenever their family tradition does it) have ‘waited’ 12 months? Which is exactly the same amount of time you’ve waited?

Have you got pearls to clutch now or do you have to wait to open the parcel on christmas day? Edit sorry wrong quote I meant to quote the one about "what does this say about us as a society" Guess that's what comesof hitting the christmas goodies early.

It is Christmas! Let him eat and drink… it’s the time leading up to it that’s brilliant- we’re say with baileys and eating the cheeseboard already 🥂

it says that we are grown ups who can decide what to eat and when.

You and your husband aren't aligned. So he could do his thing and you can do yours?

This thread is full of people who delay gratification, they just don't derive a sense of satisfaction from controlling others' access to gratification for the sake of a couple of days. Think about it, if 'society' ate like this all the time there would be no Special Cheese - choosing to enjoy some of these foods for the days around Christmas is hardly a headlong descent into unbridled hedonism.

If you want to pathologise something you might spend some time reflecting on what it is in your own life that's leading you to seek out this sense of control and authority. Or you could just relax and enjoy Christmas with your family...

good grief, life is too short.

Christmas Day food might be special FOR YOU, not so much for us. Is that ok with you?

I refuse to put so much pressure and stress over one day anyway. Things happen, the best planned day end up very differently than what you planned, it's life. You handle it better if you chill a bit.

More importantly, I don't believe the FOOD is the main event. I'd be just as happy with a pizza, it would still be Christmas! It's lovely to have party food, but it's only food. Thankfully there are celebrations and events throughout the year, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, successes. I am very sociable, but my Christmas would be ruined if it was all around a meal.

If the man fancy a bit of nice cheese, let him be. Fancy cheese and treats for the holiday season, as long as he replaces them on time so YOU can have YOUR special food on YOUR special day. Just don't spoil the season for him.

This wacko thread may wind up in classics 🤣

I think you’re using some very extreme words to describe him eating some food.

But in my household we save the special food for Xmas eve.

1.Because it makes Xmas that bit more special.
2.Because we’d be the size of houses if we started eating the treat food too early.

So I do understand where you’re coming from, I just think you’re being a bit too over the top.

We often end up cracking open the quality street early and you just have to let it slide and remember that things are there to enjoy.

I might go and open some cheese now, actually.

RIP my outcomes

I think u r a bit mean.

I'm sadly like your DH! I ate all the chocolate peanuts,. Brazil nuts and baklava I had bought for Xmas day and had to buy more to replace them today! I've always been a bit like this. I try but I do lack self control when it comes to food. Probably part of the reason I ended up bulimic for ten years in my late teens and twenties. I always feel awful about it, but it's like I'm not in control of myself.

Luckily my DH is lovely! He said don't worry, Xmas is for enjoying yourself and no harm done! He'd never criticise me and call me disgusting.

Christ alive! I am no great lover of Christmas, and all the fuss and hoohaa about it, but, ye gods, you sound totally anally retentive! Over a bit of cheese and a 'special' drink!?