Disgusted by inability to delay gratification

[KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge]

We get the usual "special" foods for Christmas. Most of them (chocs, cake, etc) are put away upstairs, but the collection of posh cheeses are in the fridge.

I've just found out DH has eaten a big chunk of one cheese, and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink. He says he'll go and buy replacements. I have said that is not the point.
These are expensive treats for us.
In my family, Christmas didn't start until Christmas day. DH and I discussed this, and agreed a compromise this year that we would start eating the nice stuff on Christmas Eve for a change (just us two in the eve, big family meal on the day itself).

I am disgusted - this shows a total lack of self control and ability to delay gratification - he is like a five-year-old with no self control. He is just destroying the sense of anticipation and looking forward to sharing the treats together.

Would this give you the rage?

That lots of us like eating cheese?

🤷‍♀️

I started on the After Eights from a hamper I won a couple of weeks ago as I did battle with forms for HMRC!

Wrong - food is absolutely about pleasure for me. Delayed pleasure, deliciously anticipated, and all the more special for the waiting.

Fuck all. It says fuck all.

Stop trying to make out you are morally superior because you don’t open some cheese and chocolates until December 25th. It’s nothing to do with anything more than people enjoying the festive season and the treats it brings in this bleak world!

I am with you @KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge

I have never understood the mental mindset of "oh nice stuff, must eat it NOW!!"

I like your example of a birthday cake. Same thing at Easter with grown ass adults unable to control themselves over their kids eggs....ffs control yourselves!

I actually really dont like Xmas but one thing I do like is the nice food and anticipating it makes it tastes better! But then I loathe gluttony in any form so perhaps not the best person to ask.

Does make me laugh though when I remember Xmas at my mothers as a child on Xmas eve.... "Can I have X?" "No thats for Xmas"....... Xmas day rolls around "Can I have X?" "No you've had enough". That why I never say that the kids cant have something if they want it (we start on Xmas Eve) as we never got the nice stuff. If they are sick then they are sick, they'll learn and they soon did!

Live and Let live OP!! It's Christmas!!
DH has been aware of things in the cupboard for a few weeks now but left things alone. But I've started to put odd things out but I take the attitude when it's gone! It's gone!! Some of the fruit bowl has disappeared, he's been cracking the walnuts and he's been sinking his favourite ginger beer!! As for Me? I've been at the home made dip! Over the past three evenings, the mulled wine has gone - very nice too! And shock horror!! The first trifle is half gone!! Need to buy more Amarretto for the next lot!!
DSS is here too for 10 days - waiting for him to relax enough to start munching things - but he's loving our new coffee machine!! 😎

It says that society has evolved. Which is OK.

This is weird. Food is food, not some sort of reward you get on Christmas Day. It's great to celebrate the holidays with nicer food and drinks but actually controlling when they are eaten is just bizarre.

I don't believe in this kind of restriction. If I fancy a mince pie on Easter Sunday, I am an adult and I'll bloody eat it

Yes it would pee me off too. We agree on when to start the Xmas stuff and start at the same time. It’s about sharing and joining in not one person starting on their own.

Gosh OP, you sound like hard work.

This!

Is it that he can't control himself, or that you can't control him?

Really good question. Imagine if a man came on here calling his wife "disgusting" for eating the food that she had paid towards 36 hours before he deemed it permissible. He'd get his arse handed to him on a plate, rightly.

The strength of words you’re using - ‘disgusted’ and ‘disappointed’ - makes me feel really uncomfortable. Do you generally have a good relationship with food?

in the event someone intentionally ate something I’d bought for myself as a treat, I’d be irritated. But trying to legislate when other adults who were equal members of my household should eat things bought for everyone is a whole other ball game…

My parents used to buy a case of wine in October 'for Christmas '. Then they replaced it in November, then again in December. We just thought it was amusing. It really does not matter, they enjoyed it all.

Perhaps he should just buy more.

For you! Not your husband. Leave him alone.

There is a wider point here - which this thread has highlighted for me.
It seems almost no-one waits for Christmas day anymore.
What does that say about us as a society?

That some of us don't share your batshit rules about it starting on the 25th? Heard of Advent? I find your tradition of rolling on celebrations all through January unusual but I'm not about to handwring and express 'concern' about your / society's greed and lack of control over that minor difference

😂

But they're probably the fun people, not the pearl clutchers!

🤣🤣🤣

“Control, control - you must CONTROL!”

It says that we’re lucky to be able to live in a society that lets us have the joy of Christmas more than the 1/2 days of days gone by. If you’re really good at it, you can start in August thanks to modern day consumerism and the addictive nature of coagulated milk. It’s a wondrous time to live in.

Wrong - food is absolutely about pleasure for me. Delayed pleasure, deliciously anticipated, and all the more special for the waiting.

Well he hasn't forced you to eat it, has he? You're being quite weird. Live and let live.

Surely that's food for a family of 4 for the week in MN terms!

What does it say about society? People have different traditions. And it's nice to enjoy special food during the Christmas season, which starts at different times for different families. Why wait until Christmas Day? Really, why? It won't be enjoyed any less a few days or a week or two earlier.

I do think that there is a point to be made about enjoying nice food together though, and it's a bit selfish to eat it on your own when it's supposed to be a shared treat.

Wow. Those are some pretty strong words. Especially when it was his fancy drink bottle and considering that he’ll replace the cheese.

You want to delay gratification. He clearly does not. Maybe the fancy cheese or drinks are part of feeling festive and looking forward to Christmas for him. Maybe he just does not want to delay gratification.

But you being disgusted is definitely OTT!