Not to let dh take MIL food shopping on Xmas eve

[Bookitonlinenextyear]

Every year we prompt MIL about what a good idea it would be to book an online delivery. Every year she says ‘oh no - I like to pick my own fresh things the day before!’
Every year she then asks dh to take her. It takes AGES because she wants to look at everything and chat to everyone. It takes Dh away from me and the dc on Xmas eve and I find it irritating.

This year it’s been no different we told her please book an online delivery as we have plans this year we can’t take you shopping. She didn’t.
We offered to add anything she needed to our delivery due on 23rd. Not good enough, she as usual wants to pick her own things.

We have all come down with an awful cold/flu and she’s called dh to try to arrange to
go food shopping on Tuesday !!!! He is saying he feels he has to I’ve told him categorically no. That he can’t as if we aren’t all better I just want to rest and if we are all better I want to do something with the dc. She can get a taxi. AIBU to put my foot down ?

Because there's something magical about Christmas Eve with small children that you can't really replicate by doing it on the 23rd!

I think MIL doesn’t want to be in the OP’s company. DH can’t take the kids to his mums because of cat allergies so if she wants to see DGC she would have to go to their house. I just think she would like to see him before Xmas without her DIL being there.

She’s 66!!!! Hahaha no she can figure out another solution. It’s hardly like she’s frail and very elderly - she might not be even getting her pension yet.

I agree with this.
Silly domineering woman, I feel embarrassed for her. It's up to your DH to sort it though OP. Best wishes to you, don't let it wind you up, be serene !!

66 is not elderly. Why on earth can't she shop online? Even better take herself shopping. Ridiculous not to drive, either - she's clearly one of those women who like to be carried around by a man - first her husband and now her son - what was her father like I wonder?

That said, of course it's fine to want to do something with your son but I wouldn't expect it if my son were ill.

One day you will be a mother-in-law. Food for thought.

He’s going shopping with his Mum not popping his penis in another woman. It’s really not that deep.

Then if seeing her son is so important, she can compromise and see him on the 23rd, or the 22nd, or any other day in the lead up to Christmas - not insist on taking him away from his young children for hours on Christmas Eve just so she can go to the supermarket.

I wouldn't mind much as it's just the morning not the whole day and not the evening.
What would you be doing for the morning if he was there?

A lot of people work on Xmas like the staff in the supermarket they are going to , I'm sure they would like to be at home with their kids.

I know you want it to be special but it will be in the afternoon and evening that's the best time anyway.
If he doesn't want to go then it's up to him to say no and not go but I would keep out of it

Is it more because you're left with the children on Xmas eve and also Boxing Day and would like help?

Magical my arse. I don’t remember anything magical about it with small children. It was a day of rushing about and trying to get everything done by midnight.

He meant take the dc to the park on Xmas eve not today as they are all unwell.

Dh has said that rather than see MIL Xmas eve morning and on Boxing Day (which is usually just half a day am or pm) he will just go there on Boxing Day and stay a bit longer so she gets the same amount of hours but not split over 2 days

A lot of people work on Xmas like the staff in the supermarket they are going to , I'm sure they would like to be at home with their kids.

I'm not sure why people keep bringing this up. If someone is lucky enough to be off for Christmas Eve, why shouldn't they make the most of it instead of feeling guilty because strangers have to work?

But why not do that on 23rd? Or early in morning? Or one of the many other compromises offered?

Speak for yourself. I loved Christmas Eve as a child and it was even more special when both my parents were home.

It’s not about the shopping. It’s about being with her son on this particular morning.

She's hardly going to bond with him in a packed supermarket is she?

I'm not going to argue with you about this. It's not my relationship or yours, it's OP's and she allowed to feel strongly about what things are like in her relationship. If it's a matter that's important enough then she can make that clear to her DH.

I think if you told anyone repeatedly that something wasn't convenient then its very rude to expect and ask again

But thats how some people view it though. I get your point, to you it's the 23rd and 24th but to some it's the 23rd and Christmas Eve.

She sounds like a piece of work.

Won't come to yours cos the kids are too noisy.

You can't go to hers because of allergies.

Refuses to compromise in the slightest.

Does she ever see the GC?

On a practical note, I went to M&S food this morning and it was the least fun I've had in a very long time. It was extremely crowded to the point of being unable to move, very stressful and too hot. It was literally impossible to get down certain aisles. I can't see how it would be a fun bonding experience!

And for someone who is complaining about her husband not spending every waking minute of a day off work with her and the children, you have spent a good chunk of your Sunday bitching about his mother on here. Why aren’t you spending time with him if it’s so important that you spend all your spare time together? It’s ok for you to arse around on MN all day but not ok for him to spend a few hours with his mother. Is that how it works in your house?

I'm not going to argue with you about this.
But here’s my next point 😂😂

If it's a matter that's important enough then she can make that clear to her DH.
Of course she can, what she can’t do is make the decision for him. Or in other words ‘put her foot down’.

I think you're confused...I didn't make any further points and I'm not going to.

Well it’s sorted out now anyway and MIL won’t be getting any less time with dh over Xmas

Let? You can't dictate to or control him. If he wants to then he can.

What a lovely way to bring Christmas cheer to your MiL who clearly loves to go food shopping right before Christmas.

Heaven forbid you do something nice for her because it takes an hour from you.

Sorry I find your post self centred, demanding of your husband and unkind to your MIL.