DD has regifted something to me for my birthday which has been lying around the house for 3 years

[Thepeopleversuswork]

I’m really upset but not sure if I am overreacting or how to handle.

DD (13) has just presented me with two regifted presents: they are both things she made to be fair and they are lovely but they have been in our home for three years one of them was sitting on my desk for a few weeks. They are very familiar to me.

She had a budget from me for Christmas shopping (including my birthday) and I know she has spent a lot of care and love on buying presents for her aunt and her school friends.

I don’t have a problem with regifting in principle but I think giving someone a household object they see every day and presenting it as a birthday present is a real fuck you.

I am really quite upset but I am not sure if I am overreacting and need to find a way to handle it without being really grabby or consumerist and insisting on expensive stuff.

@Thepeopleversuswork

I don't understand why you've got such weird replies.

You only wanted her to treat you with the same care and respect she does other people.

Eh? It’s not her own money. DD was given money to buy presents for a set of people, If she didn’t want to buy the gifts she shouldn’t take the money.

She was also allocated a separate Christmas present budget pot by me which was intended to cover: me, her dad, my partner, my sister and her partner and the 3 or 4 school friends she had indicated she wanted to buy for.

You sound like a good mum OP.
Teaching your daughter to put some care and thought into someone who singlehandedly brought her up isn't much to ask.
It's the thought that counts, but clearly, no thought went into it.
There's a lot of kids/dads taking mum work for granted and prioritising other people when the main caregiver is expected to take care of themselves.

It's a teaching moment and glad you've made up.

No one is buying anyone's love as OP actually provided the spending money.
OP could have gotten her own present but is teaching her DD how to budget.

No wonder there are so many thoughtless nightmare kids in schools.

Charity begins at home.

Lol. It might be her way of saying "I don't have a job or money so what am I supposed to get you?"

Edit: so she's bought gifts for her aunt and her friends at school? The plot thickens.

So this might hurt like hell but there's a good chance she doesn't feel the need to show appreciation for you right now. 13 is an awkward age. Kids are trying to impress their friends and take for granted the people closest to them, I was like that once. Once she turns into a young woman I'm sure she'll appreciate you a lot more.

@ZestyJoey

she was literally given money from her mother to buy presents. There’s no excuse for this.

That's probably why her mum gave her money to buy the gifts 🙄 you can just read the OP's posts if you can't be bothered reading an entire long thread!

Some replies here are crazy lol I do think the teenage years is genuinely when they are thoughtless arseholes,…. So it was 100% appropriate to pull her up on that now! Love the Nintendo switch example.

Giving a gift, big or small, is special because it says “I thought of you”.

I thought it would be fun to get my just turned 5yr old involved in gift giving this year so she went out with her Aunt and she decided mummy loves bubble baths so she’s picked me out some LUSH products, and then decided she wanted to actually get some for her Aunt, her grandma and her godmother too.

Never too young to learn to be considerate of other people.

@JellyBean909 - sweet!

This all sounds odd to me . Why is DD buying your sister and partner a present ? Do you not give a joint present from you both? Not allowed to prioritise and buy her friends presents ? Treating you to cinema or half cost of cinema? Halves on concert tickets for her birthday.? She’s 13 and probably doesn’t have a job ? Why are you not treating her as a child?

You do know that you can isolate the OP’s posts to read for context?

I think you are quite right to raise this with your daughter now OP. Everything can be a learning situation instead of a fight and I applaud you for teaching your DC to value family at this age or it won’t necessarily suddenly and magically happen later when it’s more expected.
I think a lot of parents shy away from difficult/awkward conversations but this isn’t just about your present it’s learning to not take significant people for granted. Surely it’s much better to showcase how to broach and solve an issue rather than secretly be upset.