To tell them they can’t drink in their own home?

[Toddlertantrums222]

Hi, I am a single mum to a toddler and have been invited by my family (parents and siblings) to spend Christmas with them and stay for the week.

I sent out a text a few days ago to basically say that I’d really appreciate it if people withhold from consuming alcohol around my son, excluding Christmas Day. I explained that most nights he goes to bed by 6/7pm so obviously still plenty time to drink in the evening. Reason being is that I just don’t like the atmosphere of people being drunk, especially when it brings out an aggressive/argumentative side which I have seen in certain family members. I wouldn’t take him to a pub everyday for the same reason. It’s also a safeguarding concern as a few months ago one family member was watching my son and he had a fall, resulting in a lump on his head and bruise lasting a week. I didn’t know they had been drinking, apparently it was only a couple, but I really felt like the alcohol was partly to blame. Maybe I’m being paranoid and it had nothing to do with it, but that’s how I feel.

2 out of the 3 adult family members have responded with yes that’s totally fine but the others have not. Not a peep.

I don’t know if I am being unreasonable or not. Personally I don’t really care for alcohol, could go months without touching it, so doesn’t bother me. But appreciate others do enjoy drinking a lot more than me.

You missed the bit where I said excluding Christmas Day.

She said excluding Christmas Day.

Are people really that defensive about daytime drinking? It's quite bizarre.

Staying for a whole week is far far too long, if you are going to be anxious about even going to the toilet.

Cut the stay right down - 3 days is more than enough.

Sorry, yes ... you did exclude Christmas Day from your daytime drinking ban.

Still think the same though. If you don't want daytime drinking, just stay home. It's not for you to make the decision about other people's behaviour. Or just go for Christmas Day when you don't mind people drinking.

If this is likely to happen she shouldn't take her son at all as it will also happen in the evening when her son is in bed and they are allowed to drink but if op is just a bit dramatic and just doesn't want her family drinking then it's tough shit and it's her responsibility to keep her child safe whether that is staying home or removing him if needed

Stay at home. You can't dictate what people do in their own home. You can decide to not show up due to your principles. That's fine. I happen to agree with you. But you cannot tell them what to do.

Its not about drinking its about a guest dictating what people can and can't do in their own home, if you don't like it don't go

OP actually asked for people not to drink before her child’s bedtime and didn’t include Xmas day in that.

Its super entitled to expect prople to change whatvtheyre doing im their own home because you domt like it. You have to question why you are going there in the first place if they're so objectionable?

Just leave when you want to

Completely unreasonable. People can have a drink with their Xmas lunch if they want to, you can’t dictate that. You can leave if you don’t like their behaviour but this level of trying to dictate to others is simply wrong

This is her parent’s home though not just people. If it’s a sibling be having badly she has just as much right as them to be there, why shouldn’t she be able to ask them to make an effort when her child is awake?

I don’t think the OP is being unreasonable to ask that people don’t drink before 7pm. She has allowed for Christmas Day being excluded.
Anyone who has a problem with that has a problem with alcohol to be honest.

OP actually asked for people not to drink before her child’s bedtime and didn’t include Xmas day in that.

Attention seeking at best

She has "allowed" it that's awfully good of her 🙄

This. she can't drink because she has a small child so nobody can

That's so unreasonable !

You joking aren't you. .you can't tell people what they should do in their own house. Yabu and vvvvv rude

Because of that - it's her parents' home and not hers. And she is not just asking her parents to abstain - other people also have to fall in line. I have every sympathy with OP's concerns, but you can't be asking people to avoid alcohol because of one toddler. She doesn't have to be there if she doesn't like the drinking, or she could do the hosting. Christmas shouldn't revolve around one small person.

Edit: in response to Parisienne123

Ah I stand corrected on Xmas. Still don’t think it’s reasonable.

Is this a joke? I would in-invite you in a heartbeat if you requested this from me!!

You can’t be serious OP I don’t drink either but I would never tell people that they can’t drink in their own house because I don’t drink.

Been there OP. I get it . Thankfully never in the day and my children were never witness to it.

"Will you" followed by a request is the definition of asking a favour.
Controlling is telling somebody to do something, not asking.

Well, her headline is "to tell"...