Did I do the wrong thing keeping newborn’s hands covered ?

[Flowersandforests]

I’m a first time mum and MIL is making me start to doubt myself… my baby was born with quite sharp nails and scratched her face in the first night in hospital. Because of this & because I was nervous to try and cut her nails / between constant nappies and feeding it wasn’t top of my priority list, I used the inbuilt mitts on her baby grows and generally kept her hands covered for the first 5-6 weeks.

Shes now 12 weeks old so hasn’t had her hands covered for a while but every time MIL has seen her she’s made comments about how nice it is to see her hands and saying to the baby things like oh mummy kept your hands covered so grandma couldn’t see your hands etc.

Last night SiL was round and make a big deal about her hands not being covered now so clearly her and Mil have been talking about it.

It’s making me panic that I did the wrong thing? Should I have kept her hands uncovered straight away?

No. They're mental.
I am guessing that if it wasn't the hands they'd have had some other thing to dig you out about.

Your MIL sounds like a passive aggressive nightmare. I can’t bear people (usually mothers or mils) who talk to the baby in order to criticise the parents. Does she say it in front of your DH? I’d ask him to stop her next time she makes one of those comments and stand up for you, tell MIL you’re doing a great job and there no need for the comments.

Ignore them, what you have described is exactly what the inbuilt mittens are designed for. Try a nail file if you still aren't keen on trimming with clippers btw. And congratulations.

You didn’t do the wrong thing. That’s why those mitts are build in.

Impossible to keep perspective when you’re so new to motherhood and the hormones are fucking with you and you’ve had no sleep but honestly - this makes them sound insane.

You will laugh about it one day.

You did entirely the right thing. Trust your own instinct.

You did the absolute right thing to keep your baby skins safe.

How bitchy of them to comment. You're going to need a thick skin with that pair. Your DH needs to tell them that if they're not going g to be supportive they're not going to see the baby much.

What possible damage could having her hands covered do?

None, that's how much.

Ignore and move on, if you have a second child an emery board is useful to file off sharp edges

Why isn't your husband having a word with them? They sound demented. Of course protecting your baby from scratching themselves at that stage is rational. Yes, as their motor skills improve their hands need to be free, but luckily that's generally when they stop scissorhanding at their own faces like tiny weirdos.

Do they lead exceptionally dull lives?

It’s not generally advised to use scratch mitts anymore for a host of reasons, but there’s no way I think your MIL knows that and she’s just being annoying a critical.

What are the reasons pls? I was not aware of this

Side note, DBIL and DSIL were nervous about clipping nephew's nails and he did get a tiny cut, he's 21 now and I still remember! Don't blame you for putting it off.

You're so right. Second only to talking 'as' the baby: "mean mummy won't let me...." fortunately not my MIL but I've seen it!

'mummy kept your hands covered so grandma couldn’t see your hands etc.'
I'd be a bit sharp with this: 'it's not all about you, grandma!' But I appreciate that's not always possible. Please don't let them make you question your decisions as a mother. Keep a distance or ask DH to be on the alert for it if you need to.

Your DH needs to be aware of the comment, and how they made you feel, and he needs to step in fast.

He needs to say "I don't appreciate you speaking to xxx this way about the babies hands being covered, keep your comments to yourself"

This passive aggressive behaviour will get worse and always aimed at the mum when she's at her weakest.

I hope he will step up, and protect you from these stupid women.

Don't worry about it
It makes no difference to your baby's health or wellbeing to have them covered and you are quite right the difficulty of cutting tiny nails is way more of a problem, so keeping hands coveted is perfectly sensible. I think MIL and SIL are just trying to keep you on the back foot and doubting yourself. If it weren't for this they would be finding something else harmless to criticise you for. Just ignore, you are doing fine.

My DS is 19 and has a scar on his cheek from when he was 4 days old and scratched his cheek. It didn’t get infected or anything so no idea why it scared.

Mittens all the way. 👏

Nothing to do with this thread but I just imagined him holding a baby mitten now. He’s 6’5” so you can imagine how big his hands are and a tiny, little, white mitten. 🥰

Instead of bitching they could have offered to trim babies nails and help a nervous first time mum out. My neighbour had 8 kids and she did my dc nails the first few times because we were petrified we'd cut a finger off.

From a developmental standpoint it’s not ideal to have the scratch mitts on all the time, or for as long as 6 weeks, as it prevents newborns from suing their hands to self-soothe/explore, but it’s not actively harmful, and I bet your MIL doesn’t even know that it’s not recommended, this is just her chosen stick to beat you with.

Personally I wouldn't cover a baby’s hands as s/he has been used to touching her /his face etc in the womb. I preferred mine to still have that sensation.

But I wouldn’t be passive aggressive about it either if that’s what you want to do.

I used scratched mitts on my kids. They are now at school, some in secondary school, and grew up perfectly healthy and happy!

Some have better handwriting than others, nothing to do with covering their hands. You did absolutely fine.

Your in-laws are vile, and brace yourself, they're likely will stay that way for years! Learn to ignore or laugh about it, there are years left of being stuck to see them and parenting "advice".

You haven't done anything wrong.

Tiny baby hands are really very gorgeous. Maybe it wasn't a criticism but just MIL's clumsy way of saying how much she likes your daughter's hands?

Reasons such as?

I'm expecting my first baby soon and have only bought sleepsuits with integrated scratch mits.

Only thing I've seen when I've briefly Googled it just now is that it can stop a baby from self soothing with their hands.

Surely if that was a massive problem then swaddling also wouldn't be recommended?

There was something in the bumpf I was given at antenatal class about not covering their hands. Can't remember why now, something about it being better for them to get the sensory input from the hands being uncovered maybe?

Not actually a big deal in any way though. And agree with others, I doubt they're actually aware of that advice and more likely were just looking for any reason to get at you. Take no notice (like seriously, zero) and maybe be a bit wary.

One of mine had terrible baby eczema so he had mitts for much longer, and I did worry slightly whether it was bad for him to not be able to develop fine motor skills. But the alternative was a bloody sore baby if I turned my head for a second. That's why the integrated mitts are there! Argh. Poor you - they sound batshit and horrible.

I think scratch mitts for the first week or so but then I was starting to cut nails. I did read they need their hands out by 4 weeks + as they need their hands to explore as part of their development.