Did I do the wrong thing keeping newborn’s hands covered ?

[Flowersandforests]

I’m a first time mum and MIL is making me start to doubt myself… my baby was born with quite sharp nails and scratched her face in the first night in hospital. Because of this & because I was nervous to try and cut her nails / between constant nappies and feeding it wasn’t top of my priority list, I used the inbuilt mitts on her baby grows and generally kept her hands covered for the first 5-6 weeks.

Shes now 12 weeks old so hasn’t had her hands covered for a while but every time MIL has seen her she’s made comments about how nice it is to see her hands and saying to the baby things like oh mummy kept your hands covered so grandma couldn’t see your hands etc.

Last night SiL was round and make a big deal about her hands not being covered now so clearly her and Mil have been talking about it.

It’s making me panic that I did the wrong thing? Should I have kept her hands uncovered straight away?

I’m in the nibble baby’s nails off with your teeth camp, so much easier and safer than cutting them.

They sound awfully right pair of idiots.
The mittens are for exactly that purpose, so you did nothing wrong.

Yep, you need to fight fire with fire here, OP. This is one situation in which I disagree that it should be left to your DH to handle (unless he’s actually in the room when it’s happening).

You have your own relationship with her and need to set your own boundaries. Don’t give her a free pass to continue her PA bitchiness by ignoring it, you need to shut it down - or imagine all the ways she’ll keep going with this aggravating nonsense over the years if you say nothing and she thinks she can get away with it.

Personally I’d directly call her out on it, but then I’m old and grumpy and give no shits and I appreciate you’ve not yet reached that glorious state of grace. So reply in kind and tell her through your baby in a nice bright voice, “Crikey, is silly old grandma still going on and on and on about your scratch mitts? When do you think she’ll stop mentioning it? We both know she doesn’t like them, but it’s getting reeeally boring now, isn’t it? Cup of tea, Brenda?”

To give the benefit of the doubt – though I do think MIL/SIL sound obnoxious – babies are quite boring when new and there’s not much about them to comment on, yet everyone wants to say something. When my first daughter “woke up” properly around six weeks and got a bit more alert my own dad said quite jovially, “Oh, she does have eyes after all!” Because he’d only ever encountered her asleep. Hormones being what they are, I burst into uncontrollable weeping at this insult.

My teeth don’t meet up to be able to do that!

I don't have a bite so this wasn't possible.

Asked DP to cut newborn's nails once...

He cut the top of DC's finger off! Luckily no long term damage done but it was stressful and bloody!

You did the right thing. When my Ds was 7 weeks we had to go to the eye hospital as he sliced his cornea scratching his eye it was horrific. Def sensible to use scratch mitts

You did exactly the right thing, and what I did with both of mine. It’s why the sleepsuits have inbuilt mittens. My eldest still learned to suck her thumb very young and my youngest has amazing fine motor skills. Your in-laws sound really awful. You don’t need their approval - you’re a fantastic mum and your instincts are just right x

fuckem. Ignore the batshit old hags with their PA bitching.

You're doing good.

(Quite) an old lady here… we were always told that us Mums could nibble the sharp nails down, it was fine and probably safer than trying to cut them!

Sorry you’re having this daft nonsense, OP, why do new DGrans cause pointless issues with Mums? Surely just enjoy your lovely new grandchildren, and let Mum do things her way…🤷‍♀️

I literally did the exact same thing. My baby scratched herself in the hospital and I kept her hands covered for about 5 weeks too ... I don't understand their issue 🤣 sounds like they just like to put their two pence in and comment on something... It would be commenting on the scratches if you didn't keep the hands covered!

My oldest child had severe eczema so was in scratch sleeves for most of the time u til he was about 20 months and amit started calming down. We were worried it would affect his fine motor skills but it hasn’t at all.

Ignore them, OP. They are being weird. Frankly I’d struggle not to tell them to fuck off.

I'd be tempted to tell MIL she won't be seeing any part of your baby unless she stops with the comments.
Does she criticise your DH for keeping her hands covered too?
You did the right thing. I had to do the same with DD1;, she's 18; and I can promise you it's not affected her in the slightest..
Ignore them or tell your DH to have your back on this (or do my first suggestion but that'll probably cause more problems than it will solve).

I didn't cover mine- so they could use their hands to explore, comfort themselves, learn from sensory input.

It would hvae been better if she'd explained why she was concerned about it at the time, rather than use it as a stick to beat you with in retrospect!

They sound bonkers.

I found the easiest thing with tiny dc nails was to nibble them off myself, no scissors.

I used scratch mitts for my children born in the 1990s.

I didn't know they weren't a thing any more.
What a shame as they do a great job and look so sweet.

Your mother in law should have been told not to be so ridiculous.

They’re nuts, ignore them. We used the inbuilt mitt on baby grows on our boys for the first couple of months. As you say it stops them scratching themselves. My boys are now 4 and nearly 2 and have no ill effects from having their hands covered. 🤷‍♀️

‘Oh do shit up, Joyce, would you rather she scarred herself? You do go on.’ And walk off (with the baby). Don’t let her make you doubt yourself, this is your baby and her welfare is not up to your mil. Has your Dh not told her to wind her neck in?

My DC is 30. I didn’t use scratch mitts for the first week and he covered himself (face) in big scratches so I certainly popped em straight on.

He kept managing to take them off - so I would pop them back on again. It hasn’t harmed him. They don’t know if they’re harming themselves, they’re just exploring.

You don’t have to parent like your MiL/SiL. Ignore them and just enjoy your beautiful baby.

I think I’d have been inclined to say something in the lines of oh
Yes, it’s sad but ‘I’m sure you’ll agree that’s much preferable to a load of scratch lines all over her face like a lot of babies get …’ in a smiley way of course 😊. 😂😂

Must be a UK thing. Your babies use their hands to explore the world. Nibble on their fingernails, the nothing sharp. By 12 weeeks your children are not even able to hold a toy? Because of the mittens. Sorry but i'm with your MIL here. How do they pat a pet or a fluffy toy, how do they throw things. I'll leave it there,

No you didn't do the wrong thing. It was to protect your baby's face. I did it with my DD too. She was always scratching herself. I know it's hard to ignore them but it seems to be built in to be a bitch if your an MIL these days. Wonder if it's something that magically happens after the marriage certificate has been signed lol (I know not all Mails are like this. I'm just being dramatic) mine was the same. Her kids are perfect... You know? Lol

@marmia1234 i stopped covering baby’s hands around 5/6 weeks. She is now 12 weeks and grips onto toys etc

Mine wore scratch mitts for 3 months! Tiny nails are so sharp and difficult to trim when everything is so new and you're exhausted. MIL sounds a nightmare, take a large pinch of salt with her mutterings and see how it plays out over the next few months.