Did I do the wrong thing keeping newborn’s hands covered ?

[Flowersandforests]

I’m a first time mum and MIL is making me start to doubt myself… my baby was born with quite sharp nails and scratched her face in the first night in hospital. Because of this & because I was nervous to try and cut her nails / between constant nappies and feeding it wasn’t top of my priority list, I used the inbuilt mitts on her baby grows and generally kept her hands covered for the first 5-6 weeks.

Shes now 12 weeks old so hasn’t had her hands covered for a while but every time MIL has seen her she’s made comments about how nice it is to see her hands and saying to the baby things like oh mummy kept your hands covered so grandma couldn’t see your hands etc.

Last night SiL was round and make a big deal about her hands not being covered now so clearly her and Mil have been talking about it.

It’s making me panic that I did the wrong thing? Should I have kept her hands uncovered straight away?

She's being stupid.

Every baby is different and it was fine for you to use the mitts. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

My DS hated being swaddled and we didn't swaddle him because of it. A family member was horrified about this but I just tutted and gave it no extra thought because HV had said you don't have to swaddle anyway.

People can be so annoying.

I didn’t use mitts because I read it was important for babies to use their hands to help establish breastfeeding, and soothe by sucking their fingers. But it’s not one of those “you must do it this way!” things, nor could I give a hoot about someone else’s parenting choice. It affects me not.

MIL and SIL are behaving awfully but I suspect you’re going to need a thick skin and a game plan because lord knows they will have OPINIONS when it comes to sleep, weaning, potty training and other milestones. Slap them with your baby’s freshly uncovered hands.

Thanks everyone - my baby is now 12 weeks so has spent 50% of her life without her hands being covered anyway and is doing lots of gripping / self soothing etc but the constant comments have puts me on edge !

Funnily enough, all comments are said when DH is out of earshot!

They’re both bitches. Ignore them.

Have you ever heard of an adult who struggles in life due to scratch mits?

It's your baby and you'll find your own way.

I would be concerned about the bitchiness in the family. They don't sound supportive or kind. Keep them at arms length OP. I come from a family like that and it's horrible.

Swaddling is not recommended.
It's recommended to let baby be able to use their hands to self soothe, have that sensory experience as they're learning about the world and their bodies.

But the mil and sil are dicks for keeping mentioning it.

You did exactly the right thing for you and your baby - I did something similar and my baby is two with no issues!

I agree with other posters who are saying it would be good if your DH could have a word. So many things to critique a new mum about and it’s awful when you’re already feeling vulnerable and questioning every decision

lots of love to you x

Ignore her you do what you think best for your baby .Grandma here I would never criticise my daughters with their babies if they ask for advice I give it .

The first time I cut my baby’s nails I made her bleed.
That wasn’t my best day….
Teach your baby to give MIL the finger with her ‘beautiful hands’ at the earliest opportunity….

No. They’re idiots.

First poster nails it.

OP, I’ve not RTFT but your in-laws sound like fucking idiots; try and ignore their bullshit.

I found the easiest way to keep my DD’s nails short was to just bite them with my teeth gently — they’re very soft and will come away nice and easily x

Try a passive aggressive “silly grandma not realising that I covered your hands so you didn’t scratch your face in your sleep”

"Grandma is using you to be passive aggressive to me, your mummy! What do you think about that, Baby? She'll stop doing it right now, won't she? Yes, she will. She will. Yes, she will..."

Get a body cam*. Nip it in the bud.

This will just be the beginning otherwise.

*or something less dramatic

Funnily enough, all comments are said when DH is out of earshot!

This is the important thing, not scratch mitts.

When DH comes back in the room, say "sorry MIL I got distracted there, what was it you were saying about scratch mitts/weaning/breastfeeding?".

@Flowersandforests they’re saying what they want to say to you, via the baby. You could reply in the same way “Mummy covered baby’s hands because baby had very sharp nails and Mummy
wasn’t ready to cut them back then. Luckily baby’s clothes had built-in protection. Wasn’t baby lucky to have such a caring Mummy?”

Then suggest everyone stops the ‘critique your way via a faux conversation with the baby’ talk and only offer advice when asked.

They sound a right couple of pains in the *rse.

Personally I wouldn’t cover their hands. They should get used to using them to self soothe and explore their surroundings but your baby is 12 weeks not 12 months

As usual, first post nails it.

OP, most parents I know (including me) cut their firstborn baby’s finger the first time they tried to trim their nails. The baby cries, you cry, you feel like the worst parent in the world. Then you find out everybody has done it (and cried, and felt like the worst parent in the world). It’s almost a rite of passage.

Forget the stupid baby nail clippers. Get a pair of round-tipped nail scissors and use them instead. They’re much easier to use and no chance of poking the baby with a sharp tip.

It's fine!!! It was inly for the first few weeks of your baby's life!! My newborn has currently for her hands covered

I think your MIL/ SIL are just being mean. There is an argument that using scratch mitts isn’t ideal from a sensory POV but I doubt they’re referring to that. It’s just a matter of criticism of your choice to do something.

FWIW even as a newborn my DD would press her fingers into my breast which the midwife said was her helping to express the milk. She sucked her thumb and reached out to touch a lot. So I bought mitts but didn’t ever use them.

They sound bitchy!

Of note though we’ve used the Tommy Tippee baby nail filer and it’s so good. She doesn’t even wake up when we use it and files nails a treat but just feels like a tickle if you use on skin.

“Grandma’s being a cunt, isn’t she?”

They sound very strange and frankly ignore them and any other pointed comments. Unfortunately you will come across this from many angles. Parent the way you want to.

My son has a scar from scratching his face when he was a few days old. I cried and I still inwardly wince when I notice it. I’d have used mittens in a heartbeat.