No Christmas card from my baby

[mumtoababygirl]

This year is my first Christmas as a Mum. It took us over a decade to have our baby. I asked my DH back in November if he was going to get me a Christmas card from the baby, he said yes.

I know it’s silly and I know it’s not really from her, but I just would love something that said Mum on it.

He hasn’t got me one.

I’ve been laid here awake for the best part of two hours being so upset about it. I’ve come to the conclusion that he just doesn’t care about me. I’m not asking for a special, custom card from Etsy, just to pop into Tesco (which he passes) on his way home from work. He knows how much I would love it and it would mean to me.

AIBU to be so upset? It’s just a card and not even actually from my baby?

We do immediate family cards on the morning of Christmas Day, perhaps that is his tradition too?

My DP gives out cards on Christmas day. Alien to me, but that's what his family do.

If you haven't given him his yet, why should he have given you yours?!
My mum never wants her card until Xmas day, there's still time. My DH always leaves card giving late whereas I like to get them written and given once I've got them. I only got mine earlier this week, that's early for him.

Two hours crying over a card 'from' a baby who doesn't know it's Christmas and who isn't able to express anything. And even you admit that you haven't given your DH his, either.

I honestly don't get it. Give him his card FFS. It's as if you're withholding his to try to prove something.

YANBU. Has he bought Christmas cards for anyone else? Give him the daddy card and say that you're looking forward to yours. Maybe he hasn't got you one because you haven't given him one.

Yet you thanked my post 🤔

How do you know he isn’t waiting till you give him his before he hands yours over? I’m trying to say this kindly, but the whole idea of a card from a baby is so ridiculous that perhaps he thinks you’re expecting some sort of card exchanging session, and he’s waiting for that.

Just tell him this and ask him to do it.

I am assuming that you have made the old hand or foot prints cards for everyone

just show him where the left over card and paint is and direct him to the web for creative ideas. Hedgehog or swan is easy- a couple of hand prints in right colours, paint the body in and felt tip features or google eyes for hedgehog

@ueberlin2030 nope. You quoted my comment saying vipers was a tad extreme. It was meant to be quoted for you.

Remind him now.

I had years of infertility and what mattered to me was the first mothers’ day - fortunately DH did a good job! If Christmas cards matter to you, you need to remind him - today.

But it will matter so much more in a couple of years when you get one from nursery that baby has (sort of) made. Enjoy your first Christmas as a mum.

You finally have your baby. In years to come you'll get treasured items from them they think of themselves if your husband doesn't. You finally have your baby..this doesn't matter, stop being upset about this as it doesn't matter . Took me years to.hafe children and this is ridiculous to me.

I don’t understand your thought process, the you could remind him but that would be begging. The two are generally very far apart.

id advise stop the drama and upset, just remind him, hey. Jimmie, remember to get me a card from little Annie, thanks darling.

I agree with you, but I'm referring to the person who seems to have confused us..@NestaArcheron. 😵‍💫

I'm sorry I can't connect with your feelings of being awake and stressing because your DH has not given you a Christmas card for your newborn. What's the point?

Is he a good father doing as much caring for his son as you do? Does he care about you cleaning the house, changing nappies, making you comfortable if you are BF, or walking the room with the baby at 3.00 am when he's unsettled?

I come from a culture where cards are not given. What's important for us is how fathers demonstrate their love for their children and partners with their actions.

my DH family aren’t into giving cards, Christ they can scarcely remember birthdays and I always have to remind DH about things like Mother’s Day. Pretty sure my in laws didn’t get mothers/fathers day cards until I was on the scene 😅 Maybe it’s just a genuine mistake and he’s forgotten or he might be planning a nice surprise for you actually at Christmas?

I get it’s nice to have the validation but a card saying mum on it doesn’t make you a mum. The best years are yet to come OP, when they make you a card at nursery/school and it’s because they were thinking about you all day. My DD is in reception and got to write a Christmas card to practise her writing and she wrote it for me, seeing mum in the card was really special.

Sure.
You just accidentally used text from someone with a similar name. 🤣🤣🤣

I’ve been laid here awake for the best part of two hours being so upset about it.

You really need a bit of mental discipline - and common sense. This sort of behaviour is not just unreasonable, it’s potentially damaging. You’ve made up your want or desire to be a need. It’s not.

You have the rest of your daughter’s lifetime to be called Mother.

I agree. Explain that it's about seeing the card on the mantlepiece each morning and that's why you want it sooner rather than later.

It is not an unreasonable request at all. It's such a simple, inexpensive thing he can do for you that would make you very happy.

She didn't "decide her partner must do something". She asked him to do something for her that meant something to her. You know, like adult humans do in relationships.

They were quoting what they thought was viper like language to show you where the vipers were in the thread. Stop derailing. Move on!

She has decided he should, otherwise why is she so over dramatically upset that he apparently hasn't? There will be loads of times to come where she gets mummy/mum gifts, from her actual child.

I've never written or received Christmas cards for immediate family. It's just not something we've ever done. I think they are more for people that you won't see on the day itself? Someone on DH's side sends individual Easter cards and I find that a bit weird too. However, he knows how important it is to you so remind him of that.

Sure
Just accidentally chose one example with a very similar name, which didn't even fit the brief of being viper-like.

I understand this want to be acknowledged. My DC were both IVF babies and I remembered being so excited to receive my first Mother's Day card. However, many years down the line, my house is full of cards with 'mum' on it (mostly from school and nursery) so you will likely have many cards later.

I would give DH the card from your baby to prompt him to do the same.