To be dreading the holiday

[nonotchristmas]

I broke up today. Kids off for two weeks. They go to private day nursery but because of the days they do (Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays) they are in Monday and then that’s it, because Wednesday is of course Christmas Day and nursery is closed for a week so the next day they are in is Friday 3rd January.

And I know I’m going to be roasted like the turkey for this but I’m dreading it. Two weeks where I won’t get a single break from them, in the house they fight and whine and the youngest follows me round crying to be picked up all the time. Feeding them is increasingly expensive and challenging. Entertaining them is a nightmare, I’ve booked a few things but everything is so expensive again with a Christmas premium on it, I know I’ll get told to ‘just take them to the park’ but please don’t: parks are absolutely lethal with a completely fearless preschooler and a cheery but clueless toddler: slippy equipment the slip on and smash their chins open (ask me how I know) so soft play it is, again and again and again.

But it’s the day in day out nature of it. It’s knackering and two full weeks of it is hideous. And expensive. And help me

Would be amazing if I had the money; I don’t.

There really is no point in this thread, you just want to snipe and be bitchy

Our local council gym has a crèche which is £5.50 an hour. There are also websites that provide babysitting services.

This - tell him if he doesn’t step up, you’ll get a divorce and he have have 50% custody where he’ll have no choice but to look after them…

And that comment had so much point to it 😂

Actually there has been a point. Some posters have been lovely. Don’t worry, you haven’t been one of them.

Really wish people wouldn’t recommend divorce as a way to get a break. I used to think this but you’ve only got to look at the stats for men still seeing their children and paying for them after divorce.
Sure for a handful of women they get maintenance and a fair divorce settlement. But in my experience (my social circle are currently hitting the age of divorce)the vast majority of women are left single handed looking after the children on the disgustingly small amounts of money CMS give them, while their feckless ex husband waltz off to knock up some other poor unsuspecting woman whilst playing the victim.

Sounds tough, OP, I remember when my daughter was small(er) feeling similar, guilty, thoughts. She's 7 now and a joy to be around (most of the time!), plus me and her dad are split up (HINT HINT), so we share the holidays 50/50.

I do understand that it's daunting taking care of 2 young children alone when being outside the house isn't a proper option for the reasons you have given.
one child at a time would work fine but sadly your issue is having children with an arsehole therefore the only solution is to separate
was he the same after the first child?

In all seriousness a split may happen; it may not. I don’t know, I hope not but things may get to a point where it isn’t tenable to carry on.

My children are currently four and eighteen months; in two and a half years both will be at school and I should have more time to myself then. At the moment things are very full on and I’m juggling a lot of balls. I’m not going to be making permanent decisions because of temporary problems.

I have tried to be supportive of you read my previous post, but you have just been bitchy throughout

I would agree with this.

You desperately need some mental health help, OP. I'm not sure why you're so resistant to it. Life can (and is!) easier than you are experiencing it to be.

I really don’t what the hell 😂

I have seen some things in life, since childhood.
Where is the unfairness towards the OP?
How did my mother and grandmother (and millions of others) manage?
Why is getting up early viewed almost as torture?
Baffled.

Could you team up with another parent with similar age children? Taking it in turns to have them all for say 2 hours, or look after them all together, would be a break. But really this should be DHs role.

It is a stage just cling onto that! In 14 years they will bin you and you will be desperate for them to come to Christmas stuff with you but you will be dumped in favour of mates 😀

Why do you think that? Your negative thought patterns are prime symptoms of depression. Why are you so reluctant to take responsibility for yourself?

No she doesn't. She is angry and sad about her situation for good reason but that doesn't mean that she has mental health problems.

Because she's so unhappy and so angry, she can't actually see her children in a positive way, or consider that 2 weeks with them is anything other than a chore.
My sister was similar, they ended up getting a live in nanny so that she just worked and pleased herself.

There's a lot of stuff to get through in the next 14 years!

Church, OP. Use any and every local church service you can. Look out for family services who often provide some childcare within the service itself. You'll likely be able to get a cuppa at the end whilst your children play with other children.

I would plan to ditch your DH before next Christmas.

Oh, nice for your sister, I suppose!

I’m not even particularly unhappy or angry. I was yesterday but that was exhaustion / PMT.

And I honestly don’t know how people have managed to conclude that I don’t want to spend any time with my children because I’m daunted at two week, bad weather, usual haunts shut. I appreciate a break from them, even if that ‘break’ is only ‘going to work’! I don’t think that is that unusual and certainly isn’t in need of urgent MH support

You poor thing. I know exactly how you feel as I took had a completely useless selfish so called partner. Get rid of him. Then you will feel much better as it really is only you to do everything. You will feel much less angry and upset. Kids grow up and it will get easier.

Well, I'm going to say it suited her.