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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband's cousin has called their son the same name as our son.

368 replies

shoulde · 20/12/2024 19:38

Bit annoying considering they also share the same surname!

I know no one owns a name, but it's pretty annoying.

Aibu?

OP posts:
purpleblue2 · 21/12/2024 21:02

So what? I’ve got a lukas and a Lucas in my family and Lucas came first.. his immediate family do not care. I’d feel honoured if they liked the name that much to use it

emmetgirl · 21/12/2024 21:20

Get a grip.

Tessiebear2023 · 21/12/2024 21:43

shoulde · 20/12/2024 19:43

That's weird

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Sorry, it's not weird. In many families it's tradition and perfectly normal.

In your family it may not be tradition, but it's still perfectly normal. Your relatives may have had that name picked for years, it might have a special meaning for them, and you just got there first, but why should they change? You don't get to have exclusive dibs on a name, and both children deserve to get the names their parents chose.

Carpedimum · 21/12/2024 21:58

It really doesn’t matter.

pestowithwalnuts · 21/12/2024 22:04

FFS...people are dying of cancer and you're whining about a name.
Just goes to show popular it is doesn't it ? Think on

pestowithwalnuts · 21/12/2024 22:06

Tessiebear2023 · 21/12/2024 21:43

Sorry, it's not weird. In many families it's tradition and perfectly normal.

In your family it may not be tradition, but it's still perfectly normal. Your relatives may have had that name picked for years, it might have a special meaning for them, and you just got there first, but why should they change? You don't get to have exclusive dibs on a name, and both children deserve to get the names their parents chose.

Show quote history

I research family trees and iv lost count of how many use the same names.
It's like Ploppy son of Ploppy

Printedword · 21/12/2024 22:06

shoulde · 20/12/2024 19:41

There are infinite names available, I think that's what's so annoying.

Wouldn't care as much if they didn't also share the same surname!

They're only 3 years apart in age too.

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I don't think this is a problem really. Even if they are at the same school in due course.

Cattenberg · 21/12/2024 22:06

Tessiebear2023 · 21/12/2024 21:43

Sorry, it's not weird. In many families it's tradition and perfectly normal.

In your family it may not be tradition, but it's still perfectly normal. Your relatives may have had that name picked for years, it might have a special meaning for them, and you just got there first, but why should they change? You don't get to have exclusive dibs on a name, and both children deserve to get the names their parents chose.

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Whilst I don’t think it’s a big issue to share a name with a first cousin once removed, I don’t think your last sentence follows at all. Not all parents choose a name that’s in the best interest of their child. Personally, I’m glad my parents put a bit of thought into my name and didn’t just re-use the name of another family member. Surely every child deserves to be treated as an individual?

When DM was eight months pregnant with my DSis, a neighbour gave birth to her daughter and named her Joanne. She wouldn’t have known that Joanne was the girls’ name my parents had chosen. My parents were disappointed, but found another name they liked for DSis. I would have done the same thing in their shoes.

StormingNorman · 21/12/2024 22:13

NellieJean · 21/12/2024 18:50

DH is Irish. I think he has five cousins with the same name and three with the same first and second name which are usually used together. Is this crap all people have to worry about.

John Joseph?

Maddy70 · 21/12/2024 22:20

Yes a bit annoying but you had it first and they probably had a sentimental reason

Tessiebear2023 · 21/12/2024 22:31

pestowithwalnuts · 21/12/2024 22:06

I research family trees and iv lost count of how many use the same names.
It's like Ploppy son of Ploppy

Show quote history

It's true, however many went by their second name socially to avoid confusion. Usually when there were multiple generations with the same name.. and especially if they were all executioners. I don't think op will have that issue.

housethatbuiltme · 21/12/2024 22:37

Ladymeade · 21/12/2024 20:02

A work colleague of mine who was pregnant at the same time as me, came into my office and announced what she was going to call her son which happened to be the same name that I had been saying I was going to call my son. I was a tad pissed off tbf as I believed that she already knew this. As we were due at the same time and in the same maternity group, I decided to change names.

Not the same for you OP - but I do get it as I was annoyed. Still you were first and they say "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" (& they might get some stick for their lack of originality and the confusion they will cause)

Edited

You changed you child's name because of a CO-WORKER?

A person who literally is unlikely to matter in you life long term, whose child you won't know and that has ZERO connection to your kid?

That is utterly batshit... guess you can't have liked the name much.

Cattenberg · 21/12/2024 22:48

I don’t think it’s batshit - there are hundreds of thousands of first names.

Maybe there are two types of people:

  1. Those who can find multiple
    names they like, and prefer to choose one that isn’t shared by anyone they know well.

  2. Those who don’t feel confident choosing a name unless someone they know has already used it (or is planning to).

ThisCosyAquaHiker · 21/12/2024 22:51

Cattenberg · 21/12/2024 22:48

I don’t think it’s batshit - there are hundreds of thousands of first names.

Maybe there are two types of people:

  1. Those who can find multiple
    names they like, and prefer to choose one that isn’t shared by anyone they know well.

  2. Those who don’t feel confident choosing a name unless someone they know has already used it (or is planning to).

And maybe a third kind of person: people who are content to just pick and use a name that they like and appreciate that they do not own copyright?

Hermione457 · 21/12/2024 23:33

I can't believe how many people think it's normal and feel sorry for OP with all these negative comments. My Nan gets all the grandkids and great grandkids mixed up as it is, let alone if two of them had the exact same name. For context my cousins all live nearby and the children would be at the same high school.

ThisCosyAquaHiker · 21/12/2024 23:39

Hermione457 · 21/12/2024 23:33

I can't believe how many people think it's normal and feel sorry for OP with all these negative comments. My Nan gets all the grandkids and great grandkids mixed up as it is, let alone if two of them had the exact same name. For context my cousins all live nearby and the children would be at the same high school.

If many people think its normal, and in fact it's something many people have direct experience of in their own families, then surely it is quite normal?

Britinme · 22/12/2024 00:08

I have four daughters of one kind of another with the same first name. I'm guessing all the actual mothers, like me, chose this name for our daughters because we liked it, but it is actually the most popular girls' name for girls born between 1975 and 1985 when these girls were all born. One is my stepdaughter, one is my daughter, one is my daughter-in-law and one is my goddaughter. They do all have different surnames (though weirdly my DDIL has the surname my DD started with and hers is now different).

SherbetSweeties · 22/12/2024 00:11

I have the same name as my parents cousins child.

Ok it was the 1980's but I don't think anyone minded or cared particularly.

StormingNorman · 22/12/2024 00:16

I have the same name as my sister and it’s never been a problem for us 🤷‍♀️

StrawberryWater · 22/12/2024 00:18

I went to school with a lad called Dave (not his real name but I don't want to say what it really is as it would be outing as it's pretty uncommon). His older brother is also called Dave. Older Dave is a massive bell end currently serving life in prison for something quite horrific. Younger Dave changed his name legally as soon as he was able to.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 22/12/2024 00:22

It's a fucking disgrace. How dare they!

JingleB · 22/12/2024 00:26

It’s no big deal.

I had three Uncle Petes and four Uncle Daves and managed not to be confused.

ThisCosyAquaHiker · 22/12/2024 00:50

JingleB · 22/12/2024 00:26

It’s no big deal.

I had three Uncle Petes and four Uncle Daves and managed not to be confused.

The first one was Pete.

The other two were Re-Petes .

ByHardyAquaFox · 22/12/2024 01:03

Do you own the copyright of the name? You don't? In that case, get over yourself.

Scottishchic · 22/12/2024 01:59

Yep my cousin did the same thing silly really