I’ve lost 4 stone and not one person has noticed

[Lilyflame]

Just that really
aibu to feel a bit miffed.

"If someone gave up smoking for the first time then great but by the tenth time you'd kind of get fatigued"

I'd encourage them every time! Probably still good for their health to have periods where they're not smoking.

Aww well done@Lilyflame that’s amazing

I'd agree with this. I wouldn't want to mention weight at all unless the other person. Brought it up - it's not really very polite.

The reason people feel upset at not being complimented on their bodies is because we live in a society where people are complimented on their bodies. We need more of this no commenting. My body and what it might be going through is no one’s business.

I've lost 3.5 stone but it's only the last fortnight or so anyone has noticed, nothing for months and then 6 people in the last 10 days, and they have been careful to start with 'You look amazing!' And then I would say 'thanks I've lost some weight!' And that was the kind of 'permission' for them to then say 'Yes! And say that they didn't want to say that, but that they'd noticed and I looked great, etc.

In my case it's possibly partly as I was still wearing baggy older clothes - what prompted the first set of comments was wearing a jumper in my actual new size

I would never comment or compliment someone on their weight. I'm sure people have noticed, but they probably won't say so unless you bring it up.

I would feel 'watched' and scrutinised when complimented on my appearance and weirdly I start hiding or doing the opposite. Once in the midst of poor mental health a colleague complimented my long hair and I chopped it all off the next week. When I have been dieting and someone compliments me I binge eat and drop the diet. I hate compliments and feeling 'perceived'. It puts a pressure on me so I just ruin it ASAP so I'm not envied, very superstitious, or to get their disappointment over and done with as I feel I will inevitably disappoint them ie put the weight back or need a new filling after my dentist complimenting my teeth or my hair getting all dry and falling out.
I want to go through life as inocuos as possible and in fact my secret power choice was always to be invisible. One of the blessings of my current weight gain is how invisible i am to men and how harmless i seem to women which is ironic given my size. And no I won't touch therapy again, this is just who I am and I'm only putting it out there so people can understand we don't all like compliments and why I might not give them out.

Well it is a fantastic achievement. You must be very proud of yourself and will certainly be feeling better and have helped improve your health. I bet you look great. Well done! I know it isn't easy and people often don't comment.

I think the prevalence of weight loss jabs also means that people are less likely to say anything

Well done!! I've also lost 3.5 stone this year and although I feel a huge difference, not that many people have visibly noticed yet either.....I did get someone at work quietly ask me if I was ok though because I had breast cancer 3 years ago and they were worried I was poorly again, so people don't like to ask....keep going anyway, you're doing it for you and your health not the validation of others!

remind me never to compliment someone on their hair either.

It’s probably because people daren’t comment in case it’s taken the wrong way. It’s how life is now.

Just to counter balance, it's made me feel really nice that people noticed and cared enough to say something. I know I looked worse before, I was 4 stone overweight and in the obese category, of course I look better at a healthy weight. Doesn't mean I looked terrible hopefully! And everyone has been so positive and kind about it. I came home beaming after an event the other day where three people separately said how great I was looking.

How fast did it happen and was it with weight loss injections? A friend had a dramatic loss this year (definitely around 4st) but he looks haggard with wrinkly skin and sunken cheeks. Everyone is aware of this but nobody has said a thing to his face because everyone is worried he might have cancer or something. I personally believe he had WL injections but I would never dare to bring up the subject just in case I'm wrong.

The same story happened with Chadwick Boseman or Kate Middleton. Shortly before their diagnosis they were photographed looking unnaturally thin and now people are very cautious about commenting on extreme weight loss.

Well done, what an incredible achievement👏

However, I think these days not people know not to mention weight full stop which I think is correct.

Well done you!

I would be shouting it from the rooftops...... tell them how much you've lost and how you feel about yourself now. They maybe don't want to say anything.

I’d say it’s because you’re still overweight and probably wear clothes to cover your body rather than show it off. Keep going and when you’re in a healthy BMI I guarantee they will notice! I went from a size 16/18 to 8/10 and definitely got comments (although some were about me looking ‘too thin’ which at 5ft 1 I absolutely do not!)

@Onlyvisiting
Woah! F off? I didn't expect that!
Hope you have a good Christmas.

People worry about offending, we live in a time where everyone has to be kind so they worry it translates in to your less fat, which is actually the truth.

It's a definite no no for most people to mention weight.

Oh come on. What happened here wasn't the complimentor's fault.

That is very worrying. She must be dangerously skinny if she lost four stone from a not overweight weight.

Unless those people know that you were TRYING to lose weight it could be taken as upsetting or rude to comment on it.

I had a customer at work (retail) tell me I'd lost weight since he'd last seen me & I looked really good (yes it was a bloke 🙄).
A lovely compliment, right?
Except, at that point I was underweight, 9and deperately trying to put weight back ON, after losing a lot due to losing my mum & being ill/suffering an eating disorder 🙃

Congratulations btw! I know trying to lose extra weight can be hard work & require a lot of determination.

I think compliment away if you've seen or heard them dish out compliments on others appearance or the type to show off and big themselves up. I don't and some people think it would boost my confidence or cheer me up because 'who doesn't love a compliment?' Well my point is that I don't and I also avoid giving them unless we know each other very well. The point is to be cautious which is what's happening to the op.