I’ve lost 4 stone and not one person has noticed

[Lilyflame]

Just that really
aibu to feel a bit miffed.

Problem is things can be taken hurtfully regardless.

I never wear make up on day to day basis but when I do put some on for a family event my dad always said 'your looking nice today'. I didn't wear obvious make up so I don't even think he clocked why I looked different and didn't mean it nastily but really it translates to 'you usually look a bit shit' when you think about it.

Almost all well meaning comments can go to offensive quickly so people avoid it.

Probably because it took that long for them to feel confident it was deliberate and you were happy about it. ☺️

They will have noticed op... But have you mentioned it? Given people a clue that this was essentially a project you and are chuffed with the results?

Congrats to you @RosesAndHellebores and op... it takes effort to make a change that significant... But if people don't have the insight as to your goal and success then they can't be outwardly chuffed for you for all the reasons pp's have said.

Nigella once said she didn’t like it when people complimented her on weight loss she didn’t like it because she heard ‘you were fat before. ‘

There’s a lot here really. Firstly, massive well done! That’s an incredible achievement. As others said, lots of people wouldn’t comment for fear of being rude if they didn’t know it was intentional weight loss, but yes, anyone close to you or who knows you’ve been trying to lose weight should be saying complementary things.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but have you updated your wardrobe yet? I speak from experience when I lost weight before that I spent a lot of time “in-between sizes” where I still had weight to lose so didn’t want to spend a lot of money on the interim clothes. Once I was close to my goal I went out and bought all new clothes that suited my new shape. Before that I spent a lot of time in ill-fitting frumpy clothes! If you’ve not made the wardrobe upgrade yet your achievement might not be as recognizable on quick-glance.

I would have notices 4 stone weight loss but wouldn’t have passed comment

There is one of the mums on my school run who has lost probably a similar amount to you - and her husband has been out running and lost a lot as well so I'm guessing they've been on a health kick. But I haven't said anything to her because, like others have said, it seems rude to comment. But she looks great, and every time I see her I do a little internal cheer for her. I should imagine it's the same for you, and lots of people are cheering you on. Well done - I wish I had that kind of dedication!

I’ve never forgiven the so-called friend who said ‘You look really pretty when you wear makeup’ when I had put on eyeliner for the school carol service.

I've yoyo'd (but spent much more time at a higher weight) and any positive comment when I'm lighter is a double-edged sword. I, too, hear what Onlyvisiting wrote in her/his first paragraph above with an added 'I wonder if you'll keep it off this time' or 'how long before you go back to being fat and ugly'.

I’ve commented on people’s weight loss in the past to compliment them, but can understand why people wouldn’t.

Well done to you, that’s a massive achievement and shows how strong and determined you are. ⭐️🥇

Well done, that's fantastic news.
People just feel rude mentioning it. Of course they will have noticed.

Come on! Everyone loves a compliment!

Quite often people don’t notice the first few stone (hard to believe but several friend of mine have lost similar amounts and found this); and if they see you every few days (partner/work colleagues) they may genuinely not notice because they don’t see the stark change. It’s people I’ve not seen for months who comment on the fact that ‘I look so well’ (close friends will actually say ‘lost weight’)… my lovely inlaws are due on Monday - I’ve lost 5 stone since I saw them last Christmas but I suspect they will either be too polite to mention weight or also use euphemisms.

My DH reckons they’ll do neither because they love and accept me totally as I am and my weight is not an issue for them! 😢 I want to applause!!

Everyone is aware of weight loss jabs now. Loads of people I know seem to be shrinking because of them (including me). People probably don't comment because they assume you're using them and aren't sure what to say as some people have funny ideas about them. Whether that's what you've used or not is another matter.

Btw - well done on the weight loss. Jabs or not, it's not an easy ride.

Well done!👏

Well done thats a great achievement! I lost about 2 stone a few years ago and unless I said I had lost weight the only people that would mention it was my close friends who knew I was dieting or family, apart from that no one said anything. But I was still so proud as you should be, go out and treat yourself to some new clothes!

I'm nearly at 5 stone from 18 to 13 so still massively overweight. Clothes size hadn't really changed as I was squeezing my size 20 into a size 16 which now fit comfortably. I still have about the same to lose again and this will be noticeable from a 16 to an 8 so it really depends where you are in your journey.

Do it for yourself tho. Not other people

I'm sure they have OP - it's just that we've all been conditioned to never mention anyone's weight any more. After all, if you GAINED 4 stone would you want others to comment? No, thought not. So chances are people will have noticed, but most will feel it's best not to say anything. TBH though, most of my friends would need to lose a ton of weight for me to notice! I simply don't scrutinise my friends from every angle!

Edited to say: Well done! That's a fantastic achievement. Keep going and above all, do it for yourself, for your health and your long-term future. It doesn't matter what anyone else says/doesn't say/thinks, etc

They have noticed.

I lost three stone and got pulled in by my boss after losing the first two. They thought maybe I was getting chemo for cancer and hadn't told anyone.

Several people commented and wanted to know how I'd done it. I told them that I was on Wegovy and it worked a treat.

One person at my work can't stop commenting on it, almost every time I see her, but she's complimentary about it.

I don't really mind. The attention has tapered off now that I'm at my goal weight and no longer losing.

It is lovely when a big effort and achievement is applauded by those who love us.

Share your happiness op I'm sure they would be delighted to join in the positive vibes.

Come on, you'd notice 4 stones!

If your closest friends knew that you’d been trying to lose weight then it seems odd that they wouldn’t comment - I’d say, in that instance, there’s a element of jealousy involved.
As for people you don’t know quite as well they may feel uncomfortable commenting.

Well done! That's a great achievement!

I won't mention someone's weight loss unless they have indicated they're on a diet or openly talking about trying to be more active etc.

A friend (not very close) has recently lost weight, I know she’s tried a few things in the past so assume it’s intentional but I didn’t say anything directly, I said she looked amazing in a dress she posted on sm (she did!). People are a bit weary of people asking / outing them for being on Mounjaro too as people can be catty about it being ‘cheating’. I say this as someone on Mounjaro.

I have also lost a significant amount of weight recently and no one comments........unless I raised the subject. Probably because they are being polite and no focussing on my lack of 'fat' but more noticing my new hairstyle, new coat etc

I haven’t mentioned trying to lose weight to anyone. I’ve mentioned MyFitnessPal to my sister, how I count calories.
It’s only really family that I would expect to say something, they have when I’ve lost weight before. They know I’m not sick.
i have a large wardrobe of clothes in different sizes, I am wearing 2/3 sizes down.
i feel a lot better and I am proud of myself, it’s very hard, but I do have the occasional treat as i count calories and can just up the dog walks and still manage to go out for dinner, etc.
it’s been since last September so not quick really.
its from 20st to 16st do I do have a lot to go still 😩