I’ve lost 4 stone and not one person has noticed

[Lilyflame]

Just that really
aibu to feel a bit miffed.

That's amazing. I've lost 21lb and no one has mentioned it. I think if I had lost as much as you I would be really miffed!

Blessings of modern time I suppose. If someone say something about it you may take offence. If no one comment you may take offence too. No you in particular OP, but some will.
People is very wary to say stuff this days about some topics because everyobody can be offended.

If they were 14 and went down to 10 maybe.
If they were 24 and went down to 20, I doubt it.

A friend at work has lost 2 recently. She mentioned it and I looked at her properly, and then yes I could see it. But I really hadn't noticed until she said.

Depends. 20 > 16 stone maybe not. 12 > 8 stone definitely.

I don't. Makes me deeply uncomfortable.
It says to me ' I've looked at you and assessed your appearance against my judgement score chart and here is your grade'.
How about fuck off and stop looking at me and thinking about my appearance

I have noticed when people have lost weight but I would only mention it if I were really close like, friend or family. A mum on the school run, my neighbour or colleague I wouldn't say anything because I don't know how that conversation would go and I can't handle the awkwardness it's not worth it. I also have a history of ED and struggle with my own weight so I avoid talking weight and diet as much as possible.

Fabulous achievement! 🍾🍾

Well done! I'm sure people have noticed, it's just commenting on appearance can come across as quite rude, particularly when weight related.

I wouldn't mention it because it implies there was something wrong with their weight before. Or that their weight mattered to me. Which it doesn't. It's something personal to them .

A bit like when I had my hair cut and my mother said "vast improvement". That was rude as she could have just said "I like your haircut". But there isn't really a neutral way to comment on weight loss.

OK, OP has updated that she still has some way to go. I didn't realise this when I first posted. I get that 4 stones is less noticeable on a larger person.

So your thread title should read 'I've lost weight and not one member of my family has noticed'

They will have noticed but are being polite. I never comment on people’s weight or number of kids/pregnancies unless they have told me and I know their own views on it.

As you can see from this thread, some love being applauded for the weight loss. For others it ‘does their head in’ and they take it as meaning they were ugly before.

Weight and diets are a pretty dull topic so I avoid it anyway.

Congratuations, that's a massive achievement and I hope you feel better for it.

If I were your friend or family member, I'd might have indirectly bought it up though. Maybe saying something like, 'you're looking really good and well at the moment'. On the other hand, if you were looking unnaturally slim, I would say I'd notice as I'd want an indication of whether that was your aim or if you lost it due to ill health.

@Jk987

Come on! Everyone loves a compliment!

No, everyone doesn't love a compliment. I feel deeply uncomfortable when people comment about my appearance. I have had the same hair for 35 years as I do not want to drawn attention to myself by changing it. Not everyone likes their appearance being complimented.

I recently said to someone ' have you lost weight, you look great...as I write this I am cringing...she said yes i am working so hard, work nightmare, and xyz happening at home....( Not good things) and I felt terrible for being such an a-hole. I genuinely thought I was complimenting her . Anyway I won't be doing that again....just a you look well/great from now on in moderation.

Sounds like you've got issues.

I can really relate to this post. I have lost over 3 stone recently and a few people have said that I am looking well but that's been it. I've got a lot more to lose. Also am still fitting into most of the same clothes still.,

I do get it, Op, you've achieved something fantastic and when people don't comment it can seem strange.

My DH and DD are telling me that I look different and my weight loss is obvious otherwise I would be wondering if I had made it all up!

If you've yo yo 'd a few times with weight they probably are cautious because they think it won't last?

If someone gave up smoking for the first time then great but by the tenth time you'd kind of get fatigued

Echoing the comments above that people will have noticed. I've lost 35lbs in the past three months and although nobody has said anything you can tell they've clocked it. As soon as I started discussing the specifics of my diet it was like I'd given the green flag to compliment the loss. Only 35lbs more to go. 🙄
It also depends what you started at and how you dressed. If you were 20 stone plus and lived in baggies, the loss is going to be harder to spot. I was 15 stone. You can tell but it isn't super obvious. Well done on the loss, by the way. Four stone is awesome.

It's still 20% of her body weight even if OP is currently 16 stone. I'd find it hard to believe that's not noticeable

They will have noticed but don't want to cause offence by saying the wrong thing. Everyone seems to take offence at everything these days so it's better to say nothing.

It’s a tricky one. I have lost 3.5 stone (13 stone to 9.5 stone) and loads of people have commented, even people on the school run that I’ve barely spoken to before! I hate having any attention brought to myself and it made me feel really awkward, so I wish they hadn’t! Which just shows that people can’t win!
It’s an excellent achievement regardless OP, well done!

Something similar happened to me.
I complimented a friend on her weight loss. She explained she'd been very ill and had actually been way too thin. However, she wasn't offended by my comment and it was actually a plus for her to realise that she now looked slim in a good and healthy way and not overly thin as she had previously.

I don't subscribe to the MN thing of never, ever commenting on someone's appearance, whether good or bad.

Well done , a good friend of mine has lost significant weight - she looks great and is taking up sports she’s not done for years . I didn’t mention it until she brought it up herself . I think it’s standard to not bring up weight loss

I don't think people feel comfortable commentating on weight these days. If you started the conversation and said I have lost 4 stone and I feel great people may join in then. It's a great achievement btw. Well done.