I’ve lost 4 stone and not one person has noticed

[Lilyflame]

Just that really
aibu to feel a bit miffed.

Well done OP 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. People are funny about commenting about weight these days, but nothing wrong with people saying you are looking well. Nevermind, congratulate yourself.

Congratulations OP <3

I lost four stone three years ago. Of course people noticed, it's a massive change. Friends were always giving compliments - it didn't matter to me if they did or not, but still I appreciated the compliments.

Every fucker likes to tell you when you’ve put on weight, where’s your goddamned compliments?!

I’d be mad too 😡

(welldoneyourock😘)

I’ve lost 4 stone too and people either say, you’ve lost soo much weight or don’t seem to notice.
I feel really uncomfortable when they comment bc it makes me feel like they’re basically saying, you used to be so fat which I guess is true!

They will have noticed but it has become a political landmine to mention anything about someone's weight. Well done you. You will look and feel a whole lot better.

If you put on weight and a random stranger asked when's the baby due you'd be equally miffed.

I always say "you look terrific" when someone has made a major change for what might be considered the better.

About 5 years ago I bumped into a girl I went to school with she was probably a size 20 at school and she was about a 12 when I saw her. I told her she looks amazing. I didn't directly comment on her weight as I've been brought up believe it's rude to do so. She was polite but ended the conversation quite abruptly. It turns out she lost a child to cancer and has not been able to eat. I feel sick every time I think of that conversation. I wish I had the courage to apologise.

Maybe ask people what they think about your weight loss and open up the subject rather than waiting for people to say something to you.

They may be thinking you’ve had a serious illness and don’t feel comfortable talking about it.

I’ve also lost four stone.

I’ve had a mixture. ‘You look so WELL.’ With ab expectant pause for me to explain why is the norm.

From people who directly know my weight loss will have a positive affect on my sport I have had a matter of fact dose of praise.

But my favourite was from the wee Irish Gal who looks after my horse. She quite bluntly went ‘Are you well?’ And I knew straight away what she meant - I laughed and said yes very well and she just followed it up with ‘Oh good- just you’ve lost loads of weight and you look good, but you never want to just assume.’

No one really should comment and I think Danielle has pointed out why

They could have cancer/illness or be very badly bereaved.

Unless I really knew they didn't I'd say nothing

Jealousy is a nasty trait! Fuck em!

Imagine you’d recently gained 4 stone. Would you be equally miffed if no one had commented on it?

Well done,that’s such an amazing achievement,it takes so much discipline, determination, and perseverance to lose a stone , let alone 4!
of course people would have noticed ..it’s just a minefield to comment on weight these days …
A bit different & baffling though if it’s close family.. I get it. My narcissistic mother knows my lifelong struggles with weight, she discusses her and other’s diets and weight issues freely, but ‘hasn’t noticed’ that I lost 4.5 stones this year. It’s quite demoralising. After hitting rock bottom, I dedicated the whole year to my weight loss journey,and found it extremely hard and all consuming. I was hungry most days & would go to bed with stomach & muscle hunger cramps ( despite the jab), and almost pass out in the gym.. it’s been tough. While I like that nobody comments on my weight loss, it’s different with my mother. I feel it’s just her way to belittle my achievements and whatever is important to me.( Imagine completing a marathon and your closest congratulate others at the finish line & ignore you).
I didn’t realise how furious and hurt I feel until I wrote this, so thank you for sharing. This is a huge achievement to be proud of. I am sure you look and feel great , and this can really annoy some people! Let them eat their hearts out while you thrive & rejoice 🌻

This is really difficult one. I normally wear makeup everyday (not loads: foundation, eyeliner & mascara), and on the rare occasions that I haven't I usually get a concerned person asking me if I'm OK 😅 on the first couple of occasions I was a bit offended, as if to say that I look sick without makeup (its the acne scars, right?!) But after thinking about it, and knowing the people who made those comments, I realised it was just people showing that they noticed me, they were checking-in and opening a conversation, which is so nice really if you think about it? We all like to be noticed, to know that we're, even on some small level, important to someone.

I think this is what op is talking about; it would be nice if one of her family just checked-in by saying "Hey, that's a nice dress, it fits you so well! What's going on, how have you been?.." no body even needs to mention weight, she just needs to be noticed, then a leading question so she can choose what she wants to share.

I would never say “you’ve lost weight” as if it’s a good thing, sometimes people loose weight because of grief or illness not because they are trying. I would say “you look amazing” but then not everyone feels comfortable even saying that here in UK. TestingTesting is right - just treat yourself and trust people probably have noticed :)

I think we need more context to decide on this. Like others say, commenting on weight is less of a thing now, to friends faces, I feel. Just in case the reason behind it is to do what illness. Well done on this loss, if it is what you wanted.

Congratulations on your weight loss! People are probably worried about being rude talking about weight. But keep going 💪

a very overweight person told me (I’m very slim) that I shouldn’t comment when bigger people lose weight because it’s me basically saying that being thin is better than being fat.

so even though I think someone looks good for losing weight I don’t say it because I don’t want to offend. Can’t win!

I think maybe some people feel embarrassed to comment on people’s weight even if there has been a huge amount of weight loss because they don’t know whether it will offend you perhaps. But amazing stuff, well done on weight loss!!

Then you would think someone, anyone would on the side quietly ask is everything is ok? Some colleague/acquaintance/friend/relative you are! Oh yes I noticed she'd lost a lot of weight and thought she maybe ill/depressed but didn't think to actually ask if she was ok... FML

I hope you are ok and well? If loosing the weight was for your health and lifestyle I say congratulations. It takes days to put on a few kilos and weeks to get them off!

I noticed when I lost weight due to health issues that a lot of superficial 'friends' came out and commented on how great I looked, even though I was sick.

Yeah, it’s seen as poor etiquette to comment on people’s weight gain or loss if they don’t raise it first. I’d be upset if someone told me I’d lost weight and therefore looked good now. It would make it seem like they thought I looked notably bad / overweight before. For that reason, I’d never mention weight loss or gain to anyone else, only looking well or good.

Of course people have noticed! I lost 3 stone and had the same reaction. It was when I started wearing clothes, mostly in brighter colours than the usual black/navy and maybe a bit closer fitting, that I wouldn't have done previously, that I got comments "like you look great" but no mention of weight loss. And very well done you! It's no easy feat and I hope you feel not only healthier but very proud of your achievement.