I’ve lost 4 stone and not one person has noticed

[Lilyflame]

Just that really
aibu to feel a bit miffed.

Well it often is envy, let’s face it.

Envy of what exactly? If I lost 4 stone I would disappear. The many messages on here by posters who hate comments on their weight dont convince you that people dont want to put their foot in it?

I have recently lost similar and only 2 DDs and good friends mentioned it, I really don’t want the attention so have still being wearing bigger clothes depending on who I am seeing. IDK if I am fooling anyone.😂

No. Quite frankly.

It's not envy, I'm not envious of those who lose weight because statistically they will put some, all or more back on and they probably have loose skin. It's accessible to me to lose weight if I put the effort in. What I am envious of is those who were never fat, have a fabulous body naturally like a model or gymnast. I'm not envious of someone who experienced being fat, probably has loose skin or surgery scars. I will never have a beautiful body, I'm envious of the natural hourglass size 6 tall young women not someone who had a huge weightloss or an average body.

And I felt triggered to say this because my colleague was losing so much weight and I deliberately said nothing because I knew the conversarion could turn awkward with them suggesting or hinting that I too could or even should try their weightloss method as you know how evangelical people get. I hate if he thought I was envious, I wasn't.

I don't - but I'm capable of understanding more than one point of view and having some empathy

This is a no-win situation for others.

If you want people to comment on progress towards goals you need to let them know you are happy for them to do so. The general advice these days is don’t comment on other people’s bodies, don’t assume weight loss is a good thing etc. This helps so many insensitive comments - but it does mean people don’t get compliments etc that they’d appreciate unless others know they can comment.

So start saying things. Drop comments into your conversations so people know they can comment. I’m loving how great I feel since taking up quidditch - I’ve lost so much weight and feel great. I’ve got some shopping to do this weekend - I’ve dropped a dress size so due for a new wardrobe. I’ve been focusing on my health this year and I’m really happy with the progress I’m making.

If you’re more open about your weight loss people will likely feel they can comment.

You say that, but the whole sniffy comments in regaining and loose skin would indicate you are. Especially as it seems you also need to lose weight, but have been unsuccessful ? As your comment is illogical. , no one should stay fat as they may regain, and what’s to envy is they were once fat and now aren’t. No one is saying you envy them as they used to be fat. And. Many folks who lose weight don’t get lose skin.

maybe envy is the wrong word, but I do think if someone needs to lose weight it can make them feel uncomfortable when they see someone whose achieved it.

I wouldn’t say because it’s not clear the weight was lost intentionally- especially if you didn’t mention you were trying to lose weight. I’m more likely to say you’re looking really nice today. Mentionng weight just feels too personal.

Havnt read all the replies but...
I thinknit depends on starting weight. For example..30 stone and gets to 26 stone may not be so noticeable compared to 14 stone to 10 stone
For now, feel proud you've done it. That's a big loss regardless

4 stone of what? 13 stone (very visible to go to 9), or 22 to 18?

suspect people won’t want to get fried by commenting - unless it was my father who would comment every step of the way, even when you haven’t lost weight

She mentioned above. From 20st down to 16

I recognise you from the other thread that should have been on the weightloss board because you're really not open to the idea that not everyone is interested or going to be using injections for weightloss. What does it matter to you really? You're obviously using them, good for you if it's what you want to do.

I agree with KindandFairEggs, for many people, especially women, they've battled (to varying degrees) with gaining and losing weight and know the cycle of loss and re-gain very well. Even if they're not dealing with many kgs to lose, the cycle is still there.

It must be lovely to be one of those people for whom weight is just a word, not associated with any judgement or self-loathing because of societal pressure. There are people who manage - apparently effortlessly - to maintain their weight and not think about it beyond tweaking a couple of pounds here and there. They are the ones that I envy and wish I could be like. I would never be jealous or envious of anyone who has to take enormous steps to control their weight or get it into normal range in the first place. They have my sympathy through because they're never free of it, not like 'normal' people who never need to have weight forefront of their minds.

Amazing OP I am very jealous! I am 20st and wish I had the willpower to get back down to 16st 😩 I would try the pills or injections if I could afford them every month

This is a huge achievement, WELL DONE! The dedication and hard work is so fantastic.

people will have noticed. But people often don’t want to say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing or it being a sensitive subject.

M

A a 63 year old bloke, married 42years, 3 daughters, 3 daughters in law and 2 granddaughters I've learnt not to comment in any way on a woman's weight, positive or otherwise, not that I'd make a negative comment. However, here I'll make an exception and congratulate you on your weight loss.

I clicked “you are being unreasonable” by mistake - you aren’t, they should mention it x

I've recently lost weight too. I think people who don't comment are worried about being rude ie: basically saying you used to be fat! Just enjoy being slimmer and healthier.

Well done, 4st is an incredible achievement.

I've also recently lost 4st and people have only in the last few weeks started to mention it. I think that's because I've got more to lose and 4st on me unfortunately looks probably like a 7lb loss on a size 10.

I also reckon that people might be afraid incase you think they're being rude to comment onnyour weight, or incase there is something medically wrong.

But again, well done, that's incredible 👏🏻

Congratulations on the weight loss. It’s a tricky thing to mention as people don’t comment like they use to. People tend to say “you look well” or something and then wait to see if you mention the weight loss. I’ve lost a lot of weight as well but only very close friends (2 or 3 people) who I’ve confined in mention it.

Just want to say a massive well done 👏👏👏🎉🎉🎉
It's not easy and it's for you! Just for you!! Sod what anyone else thinks, I know how flippin amazing I felt when I lost weight and I had comments from some people saying I'd lost too much, not enough, I should try this other diet ... etc! Ignore them, It's for you xx

I might say something vague like you're looking great, but not refer to weight. It rather implies you looked bloody awful before.

I struggle with weight and I have lost 3 stone I would always tell a person they look great my friends tell me I do

Talking about weight is a minefield OP. Everyone will have noticed. That's one heck of a loss. Very well done for persevering cos it's not easy 💪🏻👏👏

Well done! I would not personally comment on someone’s weigh as you don’t know the reason why people gain/loose weight.