What do you think of a proposal with no ring?

[Brainded]

Just this really. Wanting to get opinions. What would you think of a proposal with knowing and in fact nothing special going, just the question “will you marry me?”

I don’t want this to turn into a debate about weather proposal is the right way to go. I just want to know how you would feel if you were proposed to with not even a dummy ring. Would it bother you?
so
YABU- it would bother you
YANBU- it wouldn’t bother you

No way would I trust DH (or any man) to choose a ring to surprise me with. So, unless they propose inside a ring shop ……..
DH proposed and we didn’t get a ring as I couldn’t wear it at work so I felt it wasn’t worth having one to sit on my bedside drawers and probably get lost. We did both get wedding bands but I couldn’t be bothered to take mine on/off for work so it stayed in the drawer for decades. Then when that wasn’t an issue, I couldn’t see the point after decades of not wearing it so I don’t. I regret that any money was spent on it frankly, what a waste. DH has always worn his wedding band though.

My DH asked me to marry him...there were no flowers, flowery words or dramatic gestures. He then said it was either an engagement ring and honeymoon or the deposit for a house. I chose the latter. I don't think rings matter although I like them and a honeymoon is basically just another holiday. We have been married for 31 years. I have never had an engagement ring and it really doesn't bother me because I have a good marriage and how would a ring make any difference.

not enough info- -excessive amount of variables.
so cant give definative answer re how would feel
.
BUT -is black\white -question-Yes OR No.

It’s not considered ‘cool’ to admit this on MN but the surprise of an engagement with a ring being presented to me was one of the most amazing things I’ve experienced! The mixture of sheer shock, joy and elation was a feeling I will never forget. I would have been very disappointed if it had happened any other way.

I would find it deeply weird and presumptuous if someone bought me an expensive piece of jewellery I was expected to wear daily for life without any input from me.

100% this.
The longest lived marriages that I know of have had no engagement ring at all.

Just a simple wedding band.

Nowadays it seems it's driven by social media.

A friend I only see once a year ..I noticed a massive sparkler on her hand- A fabulous trio of fiery lively diamonds- she had inherited them from a wealthy relative.

Her husband said ''It's hard for me to match that''! But he doesn't need to. They have a loving relationship.

My husband proposed to me while we were both lying in bed drinking a cup of tea at 1am. We had been out at a gig and that was us just getting home. We bought the ring a week or two later.

My husband proposed without a ring (the proposal was really personal and just the two of us there). It never occurred to me until everyone started asking to see the ring! He took me to pick one a day or so later which was a really lovely day out just the two of us.

I'd think that the person proposing was half arsenal and lazy. I'd also wonder what the future would hold. Its not exactly a romantic gesture. I guess it depends of life generally are the thoughtful, romantic, do they make kind gestures?

My engagement ring was second hand, small and only a few hundred pounds. It was what he could afford at the time. He proposed on a beach at sunset on one knee. Don't get me wrong he can still be half arsed and lazy. But,the early days were as good as it got. Well so far anyways.

25y ago I said to now-dh "Shall we get married and have children?" He looked at me in his serious way, gave a small, happy smile, and quietly said "Yeah".

And that was it. No ring, no fanfare. We don't even remember where we were. It just felt such a natural progression in our lives.

No ring? No engagement

Fine which is why we are married

Have RTFT. Not an issue IMO, but I pretty much had the same, and it ended in tears, but he was an arsehole. Should have known when I was feeling underwhelmed on the day we got engaged.

I got proposed to with no ring, we then had one custom made (as I'm a fussy so-and-so, and was actually much cheaper and supported a small business rather than a chain jeweler) and he proposed again properly with it, the whole down on one knee scenic location palaver.

My friend got proposed to with a text which she read whilst on toilet! I think nearly anything beats that.

I think it depends on the type of people you are and your relationship in general whether you should be bothered by this or not.

My friend got proposed to with a text which she read whilst on toilet! I think nearly anything beats that.

This made me laugh out loud 🤣🤣

It sounds amazing. Planned proposals doe photo ops make me cringe are feel so fake. Someone asking you while curled up in bed together- perfect.

I mean. Probably ideally not when cleaning the toilet or something but alone together in normal day to day life? Absolutely

I think being asked to marry someone in any form is kind of a big deal. Never felt the need for a carriage and 6 white horses.

All that matters is will the person in question be a good life partner, do they love you and do you love them?
Everything else is detail.

I just got a casual 'shall we get married' one Sunday morning while we were cuddling in bed. No big gesture, no ring ready. We've been married almost 19 years and are happy as Larry....

I'm really confused by the concept of people who have agreed to get married but are waiting for the right time to 'propose'. Asking someone if they want to get married is a proposal, and when you have agreed you are engaged. The idea that it somehow doesn't count or you can have a do-over later with more theatre is bizarre to me. Like pretending to be suprised by a birthday present that you wrapped for yourself!
In your case it sounds like it sucked because he only 'proposed' after you telling him you wanted him to? Would you have minded if it was done in the same way but spontaneously? And he'd seemed excited about it rather than perfunctory?

I never got a ring, we just decided to get married and went and booked it😃

Wow. That seems a bit harsh!

We were at a summer ball, slipped out into the gardens for some air, sat on a bench, he just said "will you marry me". So, champagne, ball gown, dinner jacket, music in the background. That was the romantic bit albeit impromptu.

The unromantic bit came once I said yes and he then said "I guess you'll need a ring, will you want to go to more than one shop?" So, knowing him well, I said "Yep, why don't you give me a budget, I'll chose and you can pay and collect it once it's ready". It meant I got the ring I really liked and he didn't have to schlep around shops. My idea of heaven, his idea of hell.

When we had the ring and when the wedding plans were made, the engagement was announced.

Nearly 35 years ago.

DS is married, DD likelynsoon to be engaged. Not much fanfare there either.

My DH proposed without and ring and drunk! He basically got caught up in a moment and jumped ahead of any plans he was thinking of making. Its a great story to tell the kids one day when they are old enough to ask lol.

It was nice to be able to go ring shopping together and chose a ring. Something neither of us would have looked at or picked on our own.

The proposal followed a hint from you and you were already concerned it wouldn’t ever happen. That was a sign of a problem, not the lack of bells and whistles. He might have gone mad with rings in romantic settings but without his heart in it.

‘I don’t need the fairy tale’

Everyone needs effort made. Doesn’t have to be Disney.