To ask what's the nastiest thing someone's said to you on here?

[Shinings]

Or the internet in general?

I really enjoy (for the most part) using mumsnet and have had some really helpful advice over the years and some good laughs. I know anything goes on here though, especially in AIBU and thats why I rarely post in this section. It's great to get honest advice but what's the difference between honest and cruel I wonder.

Mine was a couple of years ago when I posted on the relationships board about how I was struggling to overcome the fact that my ex partner and close friend ended up in a relationship a few months after we had split. It felt much worse as I had suffered a miscarriage a year before, cue some lovely poster telling me to basically get over it and that many people had suffered miscarriages before and I wasn't anything special - absolutely correct but that didn't make my situation any less sad or painful.

I can laugh about it now (the comment) but it was horrible at the time. I just can't imagine someone saying that to another persons face but people feel more confident behind a keyboard don't they. I'm sure others on here have worse examples. It only crossed my mind because I read a thread earlier and some of the comments were absolutely awful (I mean, really crossing the line and quite hurtful imo)

There was a thread where OP was stating no one could ever recover from any cancer, they would all eventually die of it. I explained I was now cancer free for 8 years and considered fully recovered. She said "no sorry it will come back and kill you".

Christ, the more I read of this thread, the more I lose hope in humanity.

Am opening a MN florist for all of you that have been subject to such awful comments... grab a bunch of flowers, and know not everyone out there is a knob...

People who post a row of laughing emojis just to try to humiliate others are always incredibly immature and petty. Every sane, reasonable person knows how utterly gauche and douchey that is.
Don't leave threads because of scum like that. It just gives them the victory they were looking for.

On the internet in general it's been graphic death threats and rape threats. On MN it's not that bad, but there are certainly some spiteful, bitter people. I often like to let them go on and make fools of themselves, but I won't tolerate lies, false accusations or threats of any kind.

Years ago under a different user name I posted while in the absolute throes of horrific post partum depression that I didn’t think I was cut out for motherhood and didn’t know how I could go on. Most posters were incredibly kind and supportive, but I remember one who told me I didn’t deserve my son and should put him up for adoption so he could be raised by someone who would love him. Breathtakingly, dangerously cruel thing to say.

Wow! What a twisted, evil mofo.

Ah yes, the mommy meanies on MN are legendary. Competitive parenting is a popular sport here. You just know that IRL those are insufferable people.

@ISeriouslyDoubtIt

I had the "you must be a man" comment on one thread, once one person said it, others piled on as well. I found it quite funny as they all thought they were being really clever and nasty. I am not a man.

This wasn't on the Feminist boards, was it?

A few weeks ago I was accused of name changing an being the actual OP (can't remember what that's called) Anyway it quickly became clear that the OP was likely autistic. As it became more heated towards the OP, as a fellow autistic person I felt her pain and repeatedly came on to explain that the way the OP was being attacked was potentially highly damaging.

That's when I was repeatedly accused of being the OP because we had a similar communication style - you don't say 🙄 Funnily enough i'm writing a thesis on neurodivergent people bring invalidated. Sadly mumsnet took the thread down. It was the perfect example of how autistic people are treated in society. I still hope to reference it in some way in my thesis.

Awful. I still think of a similar one. Someone saying she was distraught as just discovered husband had been having an affair with "a girl from work". Cue first response claiming to be confused that a child would be in the workplace and how awful that her husband is a paedophile. Twat.

I remember someone with the name of a popular blackcurrant drink telling me I was “playing the cancer card”.

That was a real highlight. ☹️

Some of these are harsh

I don't really use mn for dc related stuff as much, but I have had plenty of attacks from expected posters. Some quite invested. They also get stuff wrong when personal.

Just politics and economics but some find it hard to see differing views on mn

I was called a “Ho” and told they had names for girls like me when they went to school.

It was pretty much water off a duck’s back though if I’m honest.

I wrote in the aftermath of being sexually assaulted by my partner that I had fought back. At the time I was so shocked that I actually had some fight left in me. I locked myself in the en-suite and wrote on here looking for support.
I was told I’m abusive to him and shouldn’t be allowed my children. I have stayed in the relationship. That was four years ago, I’m pretty numb to anything these days.

I was talking about my autistic son in some context (not complaining about anything). I put "my son" but later used the "ddog" form when I mentioned the dog. A poster used this as evidence that I clearly loved the dog more than my autistic son. When I told her to do one, she reported MY post as a personal attack (it was deleted) and doubled down on my "guilty conscience" because I objected to what she said.

After a string of horrendous messages from her she was eventually banned.

My husband walked out on me and kids. I was told I sounded like hard work they weren't suprised he had. Nice. That was the relationship board too. Some comments were so awful I jad to ask mumnet to remove the thread. I was out on diazapram and my anti depressants meds increased. I was a mess and still not back to how I was.

Ironically for a site that was set up with the intention of supporting mums, I feel mumsnet can be particularly vicious towards new mothers and pregnant women. I wrote about formula feeding my newborn and a couple of posters jumped on me and called me selfish and asked why I had bothered to have children when I was not willing to do what was best for my baby. If someone said that to me now I would simply shrug it off but I sat there holding my six week old son and cried when I read those comments. I was particularly shocked when I saw a poster tell another woman to terminate her wanted baby because she already had a teenager and it was, according to them, selfish.

That I was a slag and deserved it, or it was "no big deal" when a man called me degrading names during sex, without my prior consent

The worst I’ve had which is tame in comparison to most of these was someone going on about how ‘shit’ I must be at my job (I’m a psychologist), because I don’t victim blame women who have been subjected to domestic abuse, and also because I encouraged the poster to introspect regarding the dynamic with her daughter. I would never ‘diagnose’ a stranger over the internet however the cluster b traits were strong in this one!!

Online trolling in pathetic. I conduct myself online as I would in person. Keyboard warriors must lack power and autonomy in real life and therefore seek this out online which is pretty sad.

Not at all! On the feminist boards you can have a perfectly intelligent discussion without people resorting to name calling or nastiness.

It was on a thread about why so many women start dyeing their hair blonde around the time of the menopause, according to them only a man would say that.

Not on MN but elsewhere online I mentioned the fact that I'm not interested in having a partner or sexual relationship. Someone was very offended by this, calling me 'disgusting' and 'inhuman'. I stayed calm and made some 'people are different' comment, to which I was told that it's like having a 'disgusting skin condition' and claiming your skin is different.

I'm just a happy middle-aged spinster. It was bizarre, especially since the poster was female and I'd had sensible conversations with her on other topics. Quite upsetting.

I think the worst comments I've had on MN have been hyperbolic nonsense after I've said that I don't like cats and wouldn't want one as a pet. Nothing that compares to most of what's in this thread though.

I’m sorry this happened, a similar thing happened to me on here, I posted about my ex attempting to strangle me and sexually assault me by doing something I hadn’t given consent to and someone replied saying “well some women like that.”.

Also, of the replies to posters struggling with mental illness are awful. I’ve seen a poster argue that bulimics do it on purpose to get attention and to spite their families and that their behaviour is disgusting, that anorexic teenage girls try to be “seductive” to psychiatrists.
It was a very upsetting thread as I’ve suffered from disordered eating, some of the worst comments were from posters claiming they worked in the mental health service too. It brought back terrible memories of being cruelly treated when I was in an eating disorders unit as a teenager, the lack of empathy for what is almost always a trauma response was mind blowing. The hatred levelled towards people who are suffering from an illness was awful.

I’ve never had anything too bad on here as I don’t post much, but on Facebook a couple of years ago I saw a random news article posted that the authorities in Dubrovnik were considering banning wheelie suitcases due to the damage they were causing to the ancient cobblestones in the old city. It was just after Russia had invaded Ukraine & there were loads of people commenting how awful & disgusting Croatian people were for being concerned about something so trivial when the people in Ukraine were suffering so much. I posted a comment that if anyone in Europe understood what the Ukrainians were going through, it would be Croatia and the other former Yugoslavian states, given the awful war they went through in the 90’s. Someone commented back that I was a fucking cunt and that they hoped me & my family would all die in a war!

Unfortunately it does attract a lot of people offering simplistic solutions to often complex issues - with no thought given to finances or logistics etc - and if their solution isn't taken on board then folks get the hump - it's a lack of understanding that life isn't always black and white and what might work for you can't work for another for complex reasons.

gosh, a lot of people have really been bullied on here. The worst I've had has been a couple of times where I thought what I posted was just a not very interesting opinion, and a couple of times some poster has swooped in, seemingly incensed by what I had written. I just tend to ignore and not return to that thread. It made my heart beat faster for a moment though, out of fear or upset I guess.