Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what's the nastiest thing someone's said to you on here?

229 replies

Shinings · 19/12/2024 20:10

Or the internet in general?

I really enjoy (for the most part) using mumsnet and have had some really helpful advice over the years and some good laughs. I know anything goes on here though, especially in AIBU and thats why I rarely post in this section. It's great to get honest advice but what's the difference between honest and cruel I wonder.

Mine was a couple of years ago when I posted on the relationships board about how I was struggling to overcome the fact that my ex partner and close friend ended up in a relationship a few months after we had split. It felt much worse as I had suffered a miscarriage a year before, cue some lovely poster telling me to basically get over it and that many people had suffered miscarriages before and I wasn't anything special - absolutely correct but that didn't make my situation any less sad or painful.

I can laugh about it now (the comment) but it was horrible at the time. I just can't imagine someone saying that to another persons face but people feel more confident behind a keyboard don't they. I'm sure others on here have worse examples. It only crossed my mind because I read a thread earlier and some of the comments were absolutely awful (I mean, really crossing the line and quite hurtful imo)

OP posts:
CyranoDeBergerQuack · 19/12/2024 21:51

MyPithyPoster · 19/12/2024 20:57

When i needed to rehome a dog that had bitten me and i was pregnant. Told someone should steal my baby and hide it from me so id know how the mother dog felt rehoming her pup without her permission or knowledge 🙄

Good bloody grief!
I mean, I can be rather direct, and a tad sarky at times, but that's just horrid.

CyranoDeBergerQuack · 19/12/2024 21:55

Scirocco · 19/12/2024 21:04

I was told I wasn't a mother. My first child had died and my second was seriously ill (fortunately pulled through and is now recovered) so I was really struggling. That comment took me right back to those feelings of loss.

I was told that people I cared about who had died in tragic circumstances had deserved it.

Sometimes I with MN had a gun emoji...

JLou08 · 19/12/2024 21:58

MistressoftheDarkSide · 19/12/2024 20:26

Ah, I'm sorry you had that happen - have a big unMumsnetty hug 🫂

I've had a few run ins on here, but the shield of anonymity goes both ways so I've given as good as I've got if it feels appropriate, mostly I roll my eyes and scroll on by.

Worst one was via Facebook - someone on my friends list, but not known to me personally, which is quite large because I used to have a business and DP and I were "active in the local community", took it upon themselves as a good "Christian" from a particular sect, to message me and tell me my late DPs sudden demise from undiagnosed cancer was God's punishment for our Gothic lifestyle and proceeded to tell me that unless I was exorcised and turned to Jesus, I would end up aline, sick and homeless. Oh, and I should hold my loved one's close while I had the chance.

I went completely postal as it wasn't long since the funeral and I was a bit drunk, and named and shamed her publicly. I got a 24 hour ban for bullying and she changed her profile and blocked me.

For that, I cannot forgive nor forget. It's a horrible icy cold feeling when you get an attack like that.

These days my profile is locked down and I barely use Facebook. I do think social media is a real problem in this regard.

Anyway - best wishes to you OP xxxx

That's is awful, I'm not surprised you can't forgive and forget.

ilovesooty · 19/12/2024 22:00

honeylulu · 19/12/2024 21:41

Like another poster, nastiest comments have always been on the feminist board/threads. Basically that I'm not feministing right and should fuck off. Makes me think good luck with the cause, sister, you're going to need it with that attitude.

Agreed. The worst stuff I've had directed at me has been on there. Not that I take their aggression to heart. They aren't worth my time.

BrickRedLipstick · 19/12/2024 22:04

Oh my god these are awful. I have had quite a lucky time by comparison but even things that feel quite tame in comparison can hit really hard if you are in any way feeling vulnerable. It’s when people make assumptions that are completely untrue based on one tiny piece of information that really upset me.

BrickRedLipstick · 19/12/2024 22:09

Actually I have had a really bad experience on here which badly shook me up. I was friends in RL with a well known mumsnetter who passed away. There was a thread on here about her passing and because I wasn’t really very engaged with the community nobody recognised me. I was hounded for joining in the thread and called all manner of names. A mumsnetter who was also a RL friend of this person threatened to punch me in the tits. When she realised who I was she apologised but in all honesty it was hard to get over it. I know this woman, her name and she knows me and there is no way on earth the posh sack of shit would ever say that to my face. I think I hate her more than anyone else I have ever encountered in my life.

NutNutmum · 19/12/2024 22:12

I got called a labour voter, I could not sleep for weeks.

JohnMcClanesVest · 19/12/2024 22:15

I was called a long list of names for correcting a child. When I listed the insults and names to show what I was subjected to I was further insulted for doing that. I repeatedly explained that I apologised to the child and their mother after taking on board the opinions of MN but the insults kept coming and so I asked for the thread to be deleted.

Motnight · 19/12/2024 22:17

That I didn't take my DH's life limiting condition seriously.

Thegreatestoftheseislove · 19/12/2024 22:19

I am sure that some folk have tried their best to insult me. Largely, such attempts at insultery make me genuinely laugh. Human beings are funny creatures in all their complexity. The fact I find them funny seems to wind insulters up even more, but that’s on them. Sometimes they make me sad for the person who must be reflecting their own internal battles. NEVER do I ‘accept’ an insult by becoming offended or upset, as it’s always on the other person, not me. Their problem, their issue, not mine. It is water off a duck’s back to me - shake it off and waddle on.

I honestly cannot recall any of them (insults or personas) because they are an irrelevance to my life. Why allow an anonymous keyboard warrior on a message board to think they have any sort of power? They don’t have any power at all unless we hand it to them by our reactions.

saveforthat · 19/12/2024 22:20

Tarraleah · 19/12/2024 20:26

what someone thought was nasty, but made me roll my eyes and sigh

"you must be a man!"
That was the worst insult they could think about. I feel sad for them to be honest.

Snap! I wonder if it was the same poster?

Oreyt · 19/12/2024 22:22

Husband is cheating
Husband is a spy
Husband is a drug dealer

I could write a book

goldibringtooffer · 19/12/2024 22:22

When my second baby was born, my DS went through an unsettled time and I was getting a lot of bad reports from nursery about him being unkind to other children. It became quite negative and the nursery were (unintentionally) upsetting me a bit as it got to the point I dreaded picking him up!

I posted on here wondering if i should move nurseries as he didn’t seem happy and I felt they didn’t like him.

One poster was just awful. Told me ‘have you heard of attachment issues’ and insisted I’d basically ruined Ds’s life by having another baby, endlessly pushing childminders at me even though I endlessly explained that wouldn’t work for us, and kept posting these barely literate posts with no punctuation endlessly rambling on about how I had labelled my ds, was a bad person, parent, blah blah.

I still absolutely LOATHE that poster.

JadeSeahorse · 19/12/2024 22:25

Gordon Bennett! Some of these posts are horrific and seriously distressing.

Thankfully, the worst I suffered was years ago - I was using a different username then - when someone called me a "Thick twat" for daring to say that I didn't particularly rate Beyonce. (It was a thread about her then recently released album "Lemonade" and everyone was asked to agree how amazing she was).

Didn't bother responding.🤔. Each to their own.

Shiningout · 19/12/2024 22:26

I came on late at night about ten years ago, admitted I'd had too much to drink but wanted someone to talk to as my partner had strangled me. Some of the comments were just telling me I'd been drinking so was partly to blame and couldn't be relied on telling the truth. No idea why I'd have made up that lie on a forum but hey.

Katemax82 · 19/12/2024 22:27

AgathaAllAlong · 19/12/2024 21:29

I once posted (under a different name) at 4am saying that I was shaking and crying uncontrollably on the sofa because my then partner had flipped out, screamed at me for hours, thrown me against a wall and punched the wall next to my head. In this garbled message I wrote that I didn't know what to do. I got only two responses (as it was so late). The first one told me to call women's aid and get out with my DC. I replied that I didn't want to lost my house and it would ruin DC's Christmas. Again, to reiterate, I was just in complete shock after being attacked mere hours earlier, I'd had no sleep, I was scared, I was spiralling.

Then a poster called a colour+ a bunch of numbers came on to tell me that I was abusing my children and I was just as bad for staying with him. I instantly deleted the thread.

I'm not saying that if every poster had been kind to me, things would have gone differently - but I was posting because I was scared and had no one to turn to, and it was awful to be met with such cruelty, a mere few hours after I'd been attacked and still reeling. Anyway, I think of her everytime I respond to a DV thread.

Edited

I was told by ss my kids are suffering child abuse because they witnessed my domestic abuse...made me feel fantastic

Thursa · 19/12/2024 22:35

Years ago I told what I thought was a funny story on here.

Over the course of a weekend our teenage sons had friends staying. We had between 4 and 6 boys in the house as they came and went. On the Friday one of the mums dropped her son off and handed me a bottle bag. Lovely! I set it aside and we got on with the weekend. Sunday evening everyone has gone home, house has been tidied. I went into the kitchen and saw the bag. Perfect, it had been a busy weekend. But when I opened it I found a bottle of orange juice.

Someone replied to say I was obviously a raging alcoholic, the other mum knew it, and wasn’t it a surprise anyone would leave me in charge of their children…

That was bad enough, but for weeks the same person replied to anything I posted in the snarkiest way possible. Didn’t matter what I said, they put the verbal boot in. It got so bad I stopped posting at all for a while.

But the worst thing said to me on the internet was that I was too selfish to be a mother as I’d had my children in my late 30’s and would surely die and leave them without a parent while they were still young. I was and still am married so they’d still have their dad, though he is a couple of years older than me.

Namechange908 · 19/12/2024 22:42

I posted about feeling suicidal after losing my mum and years of being at home caring full-time for my DC who has Down’s syndrome. I was told I was attention-seeking and that there are other people much worse off than me and I should stop feeling sorry for myself and being selfish. I remember crying myself to sleep reading some of the comments, it really did make me feel so worthless and nearly tipped me over the edge.

BrickRedLipstick · 19/12/2024 22:51

Namechange908 · 19/12/2024 22:42

I posted about feeling suicidal after losing my mum and years of being at home caring full-time for my DC who has Down’s syndrome. I was told I was attention-seeking and that there are other people much worse off than me and I should stop feeling sorry for myself and being selfish. I remember crying myself to sleep reading some of the comments, it really did make me feel so worthless and nearly tipped me over the edge.

That’s horrific. I am so sorry you were subjected to that.

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 19/12/2024 22:56

I'm not sure that it was exactly nasty in intention as much as shockingly thoughtless, but one of the weirdest encounters I've had on MN was when I was on a long-running thread for women undergoing treatment for recurrent miscarriage. A poster came on it to tell us that we might be the lucky ones really as she didn't get on that well with her adult children...

HaddyAbrams · 19/12/2024 23:03

I got told to reframe my trauma when i mentioned how important single sex spaces were to me as a CSA survivor. Annoyingly other people reported the post on my behalf and it was removed. I'd have liked it to stay as proof of how nasty people are.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 19/12/2024 23:08

Namechange908 · 19/12/2024 22:42

I posted about feeling suicidal after losing my mum and years of being at home caring full-time for my DC who has Down’s syndrome. I was told I was attention-seeking and that there are other people much worse off than me and I should stop feeling sorry for myself and being selfish. I remember crying myself to sleep reading some of the comments, it really did make me feel so worthless and nearly tipped me over the edge.

I’m so sorry, that is horrid. I hope you sleep well tonight 🌺

ISeriouslyDoubtIt · 19/12/2024 23:09

Tarraleah · 19/12/2024 20:26

what someone thought was nasty, but made me roll my eyes and sigh

"you must be a man!"
That was the worst insult they could think about. I feel sad for them to be honest.

I had the "you must be a man" comment on one thread, once one person said it, others piled on as well. I found it quite funny as they all thought they were being really clever and nasty.
I am not a man.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 19/12/2024 23:13

I told what I thought was an amusing story about a very disturbed night spent in a hotel where a wedding was raging ( nothing to do with us, we were just using the hotel for an overnight stop).

Someone p.m.ed me and told I was a rape sympathiser 😯! I wouldn’t have minded if they had posted it, it was the private message bit which unsettled me.

If I heard or saw any form of sexual assault I would always try to intervene and/ or testify…..promise.

TickingAlongNicely · 19/12/2024 23:22

I once described how my PTSD effects me, and how I took steps to avoid being in situations that could trigger it. (Sexual assault, being in a situation alone with a man after dark, such as a taxi or in a lift)

I was told I should stay at home and not expect places like toilets or changing rooms to be women only.