DH showing an unbelievable level of pettiness

[Owlsz]

DH takes and collects my friend's 2 children to school every day, as well as our two. We live a 20 minute drive from the school and it's on the way to DH's work.

My friend's child is having a birthday party but hasn't invited my DC despite being in the same year group at school. I don't see any problem with this as they have different friendship groups and my friend is inviting a limited number of children because of the cost of the event. My DC has indicated they would have liked to attend but understand why they weren't invited.

DH does have an issue with this and is refusing to take my friend's DC to and from school, starting from the next year, calling the non- invitation an insult. He is also grieved at my friend's attitude, so is probably using this as an excuse.

I've pushed him to reconsider but he has refused.

I cannot take the children to school as I'm at work. My friend has no other means of transport, there is no one near her that is travelling in the same direction.

I so agree! Madness for that mum not to insist OPs children are invited! And I am on the side of dad.

I agree with your DH, though id begrudge taking other people's children to and from school everyday anyway, not inviting your child is ridiculous on your "friends" part

I don't think he's being petty. I genuinely can't believe someone expects your DH to pick up their kids and take them to school every day, not offer a payment or anything in return and then doesn't invite your kids to their kids party. No way I'd be giving a lift again after that.
And if your friend has no alternative she should have thought a bit harder in terms of who to invite to the party

What age are the DC involved?

Whoah not even a thank you gesture like a box of chocs at Xmas?? Rude.

I’m with your DH.

The mother sounds like a taker and/or she’s very ignorant.

Team husband!

Also, let's not get it twisted: it's not that OP's DC should automatically be invited to a party because her DH does this woman a favour. It's more the fact that, if this woman doesn't deem OP's DC 'close enough friends' to warrant a party invite, then said 'favour' should stop.

He’s sticking up for your child, unlike you. Your husband does them a huge favour and your ‘friend’ can’t even have the decency to say “sorry Jimmy, I know Mary wouldn’t be your first choice but they do me a massive favour so she’s being invited, no arguments”. She’s not your friend, she’s using your husband for lifts to save herself a load of money.

Do you like your DH?

Yeah I kind of agree with him..

Sounds like there have already been issues if your DH is fed up with her attitude. I don’t blame him for stopping the lifts.

Sorry team DH your friend is a freeloading C and doesn’t even like you!!!!

You should respect your husband’s boundaries instead of slagging him off on the internet to strangers on something that he’s absolutely right about. What he’s saying is perfectly reasonable. He’s a glorified taxi driver to an ungrateful fake friend. Your friend is incredibly rude by excluding your kids and is obviously using you both for lifts. How insulting. You’re being ridiculous by thinking otherwise. I feel sorry for your husband that you haven’t sided with him on this one. Terrible. Also I hate to break it to you but your so called friend doesn’t like or respect you.

F E D

So so true. Seen it so often. Someone does a favour, which becomes an expectation, then when it stops, the beneficiary goes around whinging about the person that helped them, now has "let them down".

No good deed goes unpunished as they say.

I hope your husband reads this thread

She sounds like one of life’s ‘takers’. It wouldn’t have hurt at all to give your DCs an invitation, that’s the least she could have done. I’m with your husband, he does them a huge favour every day with zilch in return. It would have cheesed me right off and she would be told as I struggle to keep my mouth shut when treated unfairly.

I’m team husband. Taking other kids every day is a pain in the arse. He gets nothing in return. He’s probably glad to have an excuse to stop.

I'm with your husband to be honest. I think the mum is taking the piss not inviting them when he ferries her kids to school.

What on earth would she do if you moved away or something ? To be honest I am with your dh on this and would be annoyed.

I'm with the husband on this. The other parents are taking his taxi service for granted.

I'm with your husband on this one. He does her a huge favour every school day. Inviting your kids to the party would be a small repayment and polite.

For once I'm with your husband it was very rude regardless of friendship groups your children could have said no. You give her two kids a lift everyday they are im the car with ur children, ur kids should have been invited its basic manners in return for what you do for her. As I said your kids could have said no but should have been asked

Team husband here too. Your friend sounds like a bit of a CF and it is not you doing your friend a favour, it’s your husband and I can’t blame him for not wanting to take her kids to school anymore. Inviting your children to the party would have been a small gesture if nothing else.

I'm with your husband and suggest that you don't volunteer his services to cheeky people again. I'd have rewarded your family on a regular basis.

You need to apologise to him.