DH showing an unbelievable level of pettiness

[Owlsz]

DH takes and collects my friend's 2 children to school every day, as well as our two. We live a 20 minute drive from the school and it's on the way to DH's work.

My friend's child is having a birthday party but hasn't invited my DC despite being in the same year group at school. I don't see any problem with this as they have different friendship groups and my friend is inviting a limited number of children because of the cost of the event. My DC has indicated they would have liked to attend but understand why they weren't invited.

DH does have an issue with this and is refusing to take my friend's DC to and from school, starting from the next year, calling the non- invitation an insult. He is also grieved at my friend's attitude, so is probably using this as an excuse.

I've pushed him to reconsider but he has refused.

I cannot take the children to school as I'm at work. My friend has no other means of transport, there is no one near her that is travelling in the same direction.

Your husband is not petty, you should be supporting him. Are you frightened or intimidated by your friend? Something does not quite add up here.

This!

Another vote for team husband

Your husband is a very kind man to be taking these kids to school everyday she should not be expecting this. I think maybe he feels she a bit of a piss taker and this is the nail in coffin. Edited as I saw your post she doesn't give any petrol or anything.your friend is a cf and your husband is right to be annoyed. Her kids getting to school is her responsibility.

Your friend is a CF. It’s one thing not inviting the kids to a party, but not paying for petrol, or the occasional bottle of wine or box of chocolates is serious cheeky fucker territory. Are you really her friend or does she see you as staff? Because your husband is facilitating her life.

It is!

@Owlsz how would she be getting her kids to school if your husband was not available???? I dont know how your dh got roped into doing this in the first place!

I'll word it this way I would give no lifts to any kid that is not close enough to my kids and my family for not invite them to their birthday party.

If I were him, the lifts would stop. It's madness that he's picking them up, too. That's a lot of time every day arranged around the wants of a CF.

Well OP isn't doing anything. Her husband is driving her friend's 2 children to and from school every single day, with no offer of petrol money and no reciprocal favours. I think that falls into the category of 'taking the piss'.

Why should OP's DH drive children who don't hang out with his children to school every single day?

I am with your husband on this one .

I'm with your husband. Your 'friend' is a cheeky fucker.

I'm with your husband on this one. He is doing her a massive favour committing to taking her kids to school every day, and the kid's are in the same class as well as sharing a car and their dad's time with them every morning. I think your friend was quite shitty tbh and I'd be stopping the free school runs for her too!

Yes but that doesn’t mean you are responsible for each others actions.

Your friend should have invited your child as a ‘family friend’ even if that cost an extra £30. Why does she live somewhere that she can’t access her children’s school?

What would she do if you moved away/changed arrangements or school? Surely as a parent she needs to work out a way to be parenting independently?

your husband is not being unreasonable to expect some courtesy the other way.

Will she be asking your husband to take her and her kid to the party?!

100% agree with all of this.

Think your friend should learn to drive or get some good walking shoes

Your husband isn’t being petty, your „friend“ is being ridiculous. She’s a user.

I think that the op should of course offer this service to be done by her dh. It’s the only right thing to do as it must be so difficult for this other family and the op has a car, unlimited dh driving time and free petrol.

This woman gets a free lift for her kids in both directions every single day and she's not invited your child to the party? Goodness me. What does she do to show appreciation of this major favour and enormous saving of money and time you're giving her, or rather which your husband is giving her?

Sorry I am with your husband.
That was unbelievably rude of her.

You understand you are saving her thousands by helping and she couldn't send an invite.

Your friend is a CF of the highest order. I, personally, wouldn't expect someone to take my kids to school, without offering a sum towards petrol. If the offer was declined I'd make sure I'd buy them a decent present for Xmas/birthday. I'm Team Husband...

100% with your husband

Well your friend is an idiot as she has done herself out of a very cushy arrangement for the sake of a party invitation. She should have been much more thoughtful especially when she has no other way of getting her kids to school.

I agree with your husband, sorry. You said the lack of invite was partly due to expense, your friend should have found the money considering she is getting free lifts daily, no petrol expense and not having to do the school run for a whole year then not inviting the child of the parent that gives you a lift to a party because of the cost is absolutely rude.