It's ok to disinherit a firstborn if remarried and have a new family, right?

[Eatcabbage]

Or am I being unreasonable for feeling a bit hurt?
I feel like it is saying you aren't my daughter anymore, though this is about the billionth way this has been said over the years.
According to my mother, my father "should have got nothing" when they divorced as he did "f-all" and stayed at home with me after I was born when my mother went back to work, "and I paid your school fees", so why should I inherit anything from her?
I'm not bothered about the financial side of things and don't expect anything from my mother or anyone else and I never have, I'm fiercely independent, but I do get hurt by rejection.
I have two step siblings, and my father not recognising them in his will is apparently another reason why I have been disinherited by my mother.
I'm genuinely interested to know what is normally done in situations like this. Am I just being oversensitive? I know I am very sensitive to rejection and easily hurt by it.

Gosh i can't imagine being so full of spite. Sorry OP this must be really hard. I do think you should reflect on whether you want this woman in your life.

It was a typo, I didn't sleep last night

Who is the 'we', @Eatcabbage , in the sentence "...we were supposed to be joining them all, including half siblings, after Christmas and I don't think I'll be at all welcome now."
Because if you can get out of it without any fuss, i.e. disappointing children of your own or whatever, you should. I wouldn't, in your case, spend five minutes more of my life on this woman who doesn't deserve you.

To be honest your mum sounds quite emotionally abusive. Seems like she’s somehow punishing you for the wrongs she perceived your father committed against her. Totally understandable that you feel hurt, but you should realise it isn’t really about you or anything you have done. Someone suggested you get therapy - and yes that is a good idea - but the person who really needs therapy is your mum!

Necessary????

That is shit. Sorry OP. She sounds horrible. I hope you have some good people in your life. Listen to Dr Ramani on growing up with narcissistic parents. I know ‘narc’ gets thrown around a lot but it’s about recognising behavioural patterns (often stemming from difficult childhood relationships) and protecting yourself from getting sucked in to difficult dynamics and looking after your own well-being. Once you see it as a stuck behavioural pattern they can’t change and that it’s not about you, it’s easier (ish) to let go of the hurt. Sending you an unmumsnetty hug from another one with a toxic mother.

No. Nasty. That’s an awful post. Well done for calling it out.

Maybe your attitude to your siblings is off? They’re related to you through your mother - it would be complicated to inherit anyway with your step-dad in the picture.
She’s right you are in line to inherit from your father and you’ve said yourself that you’re independent so try to let it go. Build relationships now without a view as to what you’ll gain financially from them.

Withdraw from contact for a few weeks; do you have someone else to spend Christmas with or can you arrange it now? It isn't appropriate to blame half siblings for their mother's behaviour, so unless there are other issues just post their cards and gifts today. You would benefit from some counselling to consider what, if any, relationship you want with your mother going forward.

So sorry for you OP. It's much more than being disinherited; it's about being disowned. I cannot imagine my parents doing that to me or me doing that to any of my children. It seems she has focused all her bitterness and resentment on you. It's not on you. Perhaps you could write a short letter to her just stating that whether she likes it or not you are her daughter and that you are willing to keep the bond between you alive but will not be in contact until she has addressed her issues and apologised to you. What is your relationship like with your siblings? I'm guessing probably not that close considering your mum's behaviour...

Your mother disgust me OP. Better for you if you have nothing to do with someone like her.

We does include my kid yes, who is looking forward to it.

I disagree. It’s not about money. To disinherit a child in this way is emotionally toxic. She is punishing the OP and ‘othering’ her. Making her feel less than her step siblings. There are ways of sorting this out that don’t need to be done so meanly. This mother is toxic. The OP shouldn’t chase the money, it will be awful for her, but she shouldn’t try and build relationships- this is down to the bitter mother taking it out on her daughter. She needs to do the work. Not the OP.

It is not ok to disinherit you. (If she can legally do this … is another matter.) Your mother sounds very mean and honestly crazy - there is no logic to her reasoning! I feel very sorry for you and I completely understand you feel hurt. But try not to take this too personally … she is in the wrong and none of this is your fault!

Where are you OP? In Scotland you can't disinherit children.....look up Legal Rights

She’s so angry with your dad that she’s forgotten that you are a separate person. Awful for you. Do whatever feels ok to you at Christmas.

Jesus Christ. This is an OP hurting from rejection by her mother. Go away!!! It’s easy to type the wrong thing. If you think this is a sign that the post isn’t real then report it but in the meantime let’s assume it’s someone hurting and provide support - or just find a different thread to post on.

state of this website sometimes ffs

They are not step siblings then, but half siblings.

Siblings are quite a bit younger. One was still very little when I left for uni. The other one has always been very against me. I spent half my time at my father's, but when I was at my mother's, the older one used to say "you shouldn't be here, this isn't your home, you aren't part of this family etc" and used to trash my stuff / school work etc if they could. They aren't particularly close still, but they are a typical family unit and I wasn't a part of that.

Tricky then. Do you have a DP coming too? How long is it for, if it's just a night maybe you can hack it. If it's longer could you reasonably plausibly cut it to a single night so your DC at least gets some expectations met?

But then after toss the lot of them. You don't need them, you really don't. Your mother is awful, for whatever twisted reason, you don't have to pander to her, her mental state is her own responsibility and yours is yours, end the chain of dysfunction as soon as you can.
Sending hugs and

Why does that remotely matter?

Totally missing the point of the thread...OP has already addressed this!

OP I would honestly go no contact, your mother sounds awful and she is intentially trying to hurt your feelings because she feels bitter towards your father...strange!