To think that all the dietary requirements these days is taking the joy out of hosting?

[ChristmasMenuDrama]

Across my family and their partners, we have:

• Allergic to all fruit
• Allergic to nuts & seeds - won’t eat anything that “may contain” just in case.
• Allergic to Seafood
• Vegan
• Coeliac
• Legumes set off his IBS

And then there are other people who are just plain fussy like the person who won’t eat anything with cream, creamy, or that is too similar to cream in their opinion.

Then you factor in children and I start to lose the will to live.

I really try to be an accommodating host and I always find something everyone can eat eventually but is just me or is it getting worse?

It was fine when it was just one person with a “requirement” but a lot of the ones I have listed aren’t very compatible with each other.

It really takes the joy out of it when I have to keep vetoing things or replacing them with very expensive substitutes!

Give me the cheese! It’s the only one thing nice I have left! 😂😂

Stop hosting

Job done

Holidays are generally where I have a bit of a pity party about being coeliac. Cooking for myself is fine, but the endless research required to eat out sucks all the joy out of it.

It is a pain but it’s a single meal. I’m coeliac, DD is lactose intolerant and DS has numerous severe allergies including nuts/peanut. Welcome to my life!

My brother has just asked if his newish girlfriend can come on Christmas Day. Of course. But she's allergic to dairy, eggs and gluten. And I've already ordered all the food and planned the menu.

I'm going to sit down and think about what I need to tweak! I might need to start a thread.

For sure there are alot of us experienced so can help 🥰

I suppose boiled potatoes tick the box for everyone. And some meat for the non veg. I don’t envy you
maybe everyone can bring a dish that complies with their requirements?

Do you think people choose to have allergies? or celiac disease?

You would prefer for them to be unwell so they don't inconvenience you?

People have died from eating something they were allergic to....

As for the vegan side of things, how hard can it be to provide/cook vegetables and a vegan roast...

@Startingagainandagain if you read my post you’ll find I haven’t said anything like that at all

• Allergic to all fruit
• Allergic to nuts & seeds - won’t eat anything that “may contain” just in case.
• Allergic to Seafood
• Vegan
• Coeliac
• Legumes set off his IBS

STARTERS:
Cheese board. Put nuts and grapes and olives and crackers and celery/carrot sticks in separate bowls.

Shrimp cocktail.

Veggie samosas/mushroom tartlets/stuffed mushrooms in oven.

MAIN:
Roast turkey/beef/chicken/baked salmon.

Roast potatoes.

Roast carrots and parsnips.

Sprouts, with out without bacon.

Gravy.

Yorkshire puds.

DESSERT
Christmas pudding with custard, yule log, pavlova for dessert.

It's really not difficult. Not everyone has to be able to eat everything!

So sorry for having an allergy which, ya know, can be fatal or coeliac and it literally causes your body to attack itself, it must be reallllyy hard for you having to consider this for one meal, not like 24/7 or anything 🤨 Do better.

Do a big buffet. Get people to bring food they can eat. I’d make a big veg chilli, plate of roast meat, roast potatoes, bread rolls, cheese, gf crackers and some salads. Amongst that there would be something for everyone.

@ChristmasMenuDrama I'd just send everyone a menu of what you intend to cook, and if they want to go off-book, they can bring their own! 😉

DH has coeliac and SIL is vegetarian.

MIL just buys separate GF Yorkshire puds and ready made GF gravy for DH and gravy made with veg stock for SIL.

Everything else they have the same as everyone else (minus the turkey and pigs in blankets for SIL).

None of what MIL makes contains nuts, seeds or fruit. (Cranberry sauce served in a separate dish).

That doesn't seem all that difficult and joyless to me?

In those situations we do self-assembly dishes like Raclette, where it’s easy to have a wider variety of stuff people can chose to put in their little pans.

Or a buffet type affair with antipasti, a couple of substantial main meal type options and salads, and really nice breads, fruit and desserts

no point trying to go for a three course meal with that array of needs.

That’s unfair. OP is having to juggle several different dietary requirements. No shade on any individual but you have to admit the combination makes catering really hard.

If someone with a nut allergy doesn't even do 'may contain' then you cannot have nuts at all, not anywhere because then everything 'may contain'.

It just takes a distracted moment for someone to handle something after touching the nuts at the table etc etc

The coeliac needs to be sure of no cross contamination either, so no puffs of flour when making the Yorkshires. No having a quick sandwich during prep or even a cheese cracker in the cooking area.

This is what a lot of ppl don't realise is necessary for epipen level allergies & why is so bloody annoying when ppl try & pass off intolerances & even dislikes as actual allergies.

I've several customers who've serious allergies & it's very stressful for them, they come back to me over & over cos they know I find it stressful which means they can trust me lol

I'm coeliac and always offer to bring GF food.

If I'm cooking for people with a range of dietary requirements / preferences, I tend to make a basic dish that can be added to as people choose. Something like jacket potatoes with a variety of different toppings.
Or poke bowls - everyone gets a bowl of rice to which they can add things like smoked salmon, edamame beans, grated carrot, mango, sunflower seeds, crispy beef, avocado, bell peppers...

Mac and cheese bar has been a hit too; people could add bacon, sundried tomatoes, fried onions, brocolli, gherkins, pulled pork, sauerkraut etc to a bowl of GF mac and cheese (though I haven't tried it with vegan cheese).
Also bibimbap - rice again, with various Korean-inspired accrouements, kimchee, gochujuang sauce, and a runny fried egg on top.

I don't think OP is saying she is angry with the people with allergies and intolerances, or disbelieves them, or wants to make them ill.

I think she is just expressing frustration that it is difficult to cater for them all at once - which it is!

I'd be inclined to host buffet style and label what has what allergens in it and then let people pick and choose what they want?

I understand what you're saying because I like the cooking and laying a nice spread etc part but making sure your guests are happy and accommodated is the key to good hosting.

I’m a strict vegan, and whenever I come over to someone else’s house for Christmas I have a policy of bringing a vegan dish so I’m not a burden. How about turning Christmas into a pot luck and asking everyone to bring a dish? I have a couple of ideas which might work

• Nut roast
• vegan wellington (lots of nice recipes online)

I feel sorry for the people with the allergies, coeliac and IBS not for the person who is cooking for them one day a year.

Surely, a normal reaction is "Wow, it must be tough for these people to safely eat every day" and not "Poor me, it's tricky to find a suitable menu"

My son has severe allergies and we bring his food with us. I couldn't trust someone else to cook for him anyway (and wouldn't want to hear them moaning about something we as a family do every day, through no choice of our own).

I have a DC with two separate allergies (multiple allergens in each category) that risk anaphylaxis. He carries x2 EpiPens with him at all times. I’m aware of the situation.

It sounds like you cater/cook for sale. This is Christmas at someone’s home. If cross-contamination is SO severe that flour can’t be in the room at the same time, that OP can’t eat a sandwich, these guests have no business expecting the OP and her other guests to provide for them. They should bring their own, utterly safe food with them. It’s what I do for my DC.

These things are only as big an issue as you let them be. The onus is on the party with the allergy/intolerance. NOT the host. This is the root cause of 99% of these problems.

In the 18the century gelatine was known as a “cure all” they put it in everything. Allergies etc were rare in those days. It heals the gut.

Ah then I think we were at slightly cross purposes lol. Yes, cos I'm a chef I'll absolutely max every precaution that I can at work & would be happy to do it at home too cos I'm hyper aware (and am pretty big on not killing my customers lol). I also love to be a safe place for ppl to eat cos I imagine it's a nightmare.

But yes, I do think with that level of allergy in someone else's home it's the allergy haver that needs to take responsibility, especially if they can't even risk 'may contains' cos, as you doubtless know, that's closing in on impossible. I've sent a tub of spices I use with a regular customer so they can contact test them with their kid cos they 'are produced in a factory...' - then they can choose to let her have other things off the menu if she doesn't react.

You can't expect someone in their own kitchen, just hosting for love to go to those lengths.