To think that all the dietary requirements these days is taking the joy out of hosting?

[ChristmasMenuDrama]

Across my family and their partners, we have:

• Allergic to all fruit
• Allergic to nuts & seeds - won’t eat anything that “may contain” just in case.
• Allergic to Seafood
• Vegan
• Coeliac
• Legumes set off his IBS

And then there are other people who are just plain fussy like the person who won’t eat anything with cream, creamy, or that is too similar to cream in their opinion.

Then you factor in children and I start to lose the will to live.

I really try to be an accommodating host and I always find something everyone can eat eventually but is just me or is it getting worse?

It was fine when it was just one person with a “requirement” but a lot of the ones I have listed aren’t very compatible with each other.

It really takes the joy out of it when I have to keep vetoing things or replacing them with very expensive substitutes!

this is hilarious! Well I do, I use it in a professional capacity. You don’t follow instructions blindly, but it’s brilliant at putting first drafts together. I think OP can read the suggested menu and understand if she’s about to kill someone

Roast joint and something fir vegan
roast potatoes done in veg oil, parsnips in maple syrup
veggies
hits every dietary need in one convenient meal

That is a long list of requirements tbf.

Allergic reactions and food intolerance reactions take the joy out of most things - nothing like stomach cramps and the shits to make an event really rubbish.

Well don't host then. As someone with a teen with deadly food allergies, I apologise for the inconvenience that such people cause you 🙄

Since when has being vegan meant you’re risking your life if you inadvertently eat a meat product?

I have one staying at the moment, no gluten or dairy, and then various other things, inc. onions and broccoli, are banned according to the FODMAP thing that is her Bible.

I do have sympathy for anyone who really doesn’t like cream. It’s the only thing I really loathe - I will eat virtually everything else. And a friend we used to stay with would always forget, and typically make 3 lovely looking puddings - all of them slathered with cream! 😩

So your threshold is death? Aren't you the peach .

You do realise people make dietary choices aligning to their values, religious or indeed allergies. I respect all of the above and it is unlikely I would be in the company of someone who wouldn't. Thankfully my peers and family are decent individuals.

There are serious food allergy sufferers in extended family and two celiacs. I will do vegan/veggie but the food allergy folk always bring their own as do the celiacs.

Pains me to say it but if i had a serious allergy or was celiac I really wouldnt trust any host to get it 100% right. My alergenic guests agree!

Were they really much rarer? Or much less known about and understood, and people with those allergies died young?

Yes of course they're much more common. "Real" allergies have increased for various reasons over the last few decades, and it's become much more socially acceptable to expect hosts to cater for optional restrictions - including various ethical diets as well as things like non-coeliac gluten intolerances.

I find it a bit tiring when people say things have always been a certain way and we were just too unenlightened in the past to appreciate them. (See also: "trans kids", ADHD diagnoses etc.) It both serves to disguise the extent and suddenness of social change that has occurred, and to make it harder to discuss actual concrete causes that might be behind them (e.g. environmental allergens). If something has changed we can investigate why and whether we think it's a good change.

Haven’t read the thread but I can assure you it is quite joyless never being able to eat out, always having to plan and carry food around and constantly worrying for my severely allergic child’s welfare. I so so so appreciate any family members who do make the effort to host us as it will be one of the only meals I am not cooking myself in the year and a chance for my child to join in. Living with an allergy is hard enough. Don’t host if you don’t want to, this time of year is for giving. Or ask people to help.

I agree- I this year at the age of 43 have developed a dairy allergy which results in awful eczema all over my torso if I have milk / cheese

Butter will give me a manageable rash but it is a night mare

So, every where I go I will take my own milk and let them know in advance and offer to bring my own food etc

It is a nightmare - I find it really embarrassing as I feel like i am being awkward and fussy but the last time it flared the gp said it was touch and go if i were to be admitted to hospital as the escema got infected

Dairy allergies have risen due to the amount of hormones being fed to the cows etc

I don't do anything special for those with allergies or vegetarians/vegans. They just don't get turkey put on their plates, they eat vegetables and nobody complained. Those with nuts allergies are not offered nuts, those with milk allergies don't get my pudding, but that is about it.

my SIL is a vegan but we dont talk so no invites for her, none of my family have any other diatary requirements.

i host for friends, none of them have any dietary requirements either so maybe i'm lucky! i wouldn't host if i had to think about anything other than what i like/eat anyway 😂

Try living with it. I am wheat free , dairy free , I have ibs a bladder that hates 80% of the food out there. And last year I developed a broken gall bladder. Having to do it everyday is so hard.

But surely it would be so easy to cater for all of that. Vegetables chilli, veg curry, veg fajitas - you could marinade some tofu and add to any of those. A normal roast dinner with a vegan alternative to the meat for the vegan. In fact I’m struggling to think of many dishes which couldn’t be tweaked to meet all those requirements, you could do a mushroom pie with a sweat potato crust

@MrsAvocet thank you so much. I love to learn new things, particularly scientific.

I have a shellfish allergy. However, because it isn't epipen territory (although my ultimate reaction is not at all pleasant!), I have often avoided calling it that and say it is an intolerance. I can also manage a couple of bites of prawn toast (strongly suspect most of them have very little in the way of prawns) with minimal ill effects. I certainly don't have any reaction to being 'in the presence' of shellfish.

I've never done much reading about it because, to be honest, it is very easy to avoid shellfish as a rule.

I now know I have a Non-IgE-mediated allergy. Thank you.

Just as an aside, I do like fish very much. However, it drives me nuts that all my local eateries seem very committed to sticking shellfish in their fish dishes, particularly in the sauces.

@Feelingathomenow , the tortillas contain gluten.

@Hwi , it's not as simple as 'not offering nuts'. For some, a trace is all it takes.

You can just buy the gluten free version surely. Hit up the Free From aisle

Vegans???

You’re the one mentioning death… vegans aren’t dicing with death by eating a bit of meat or some honey!

Absolutely, my husband can't have may contains, so we bring a variety of extra for him. For example if its a roast dinner, meat and veg are usually safe for him, but gravy, stuffing, puddings etc we bring with him, as well as gf beer etc

You can. You'd also need to make sure any sauces, spices or paste are nut/peanut and gluten free.