So, I'll start this by saying my partner likes to drink. Sometimes excessively at the weekend. When he does, he's like a different person. Snappy, nasty and says some horrible things that he can't recollect the next day.
This Friday just gone, he finished work at lunchtime. Had 4-5 pints at the pub. We had already arranged to go out for tea so I picked the children up (10, 7) and he met us there. Had a few more pints during the meal. We had a minor disagreement about something trivial and he shouted and stormed off, left us all in the restaurant. Me and the kids drove home, he went to another pub.
To cut a long story short, he didn't come home. Stayed in the pub until 10pm and went to his friends house (he says) and carried on drinking. He turned up home at midday the next day, having walked home 7 miles from his friends as the taxi refused to take him.
I was obviously mad that he didn't tell me where he was, or that he didn't come home. I was out all morning taking the children to their hobbies but when I got back he was apologising profusely for speaking to me that way and not coming home. I forgave him but then all weekend since something just didn't feel right. I felt like he wasn't telling me the truth.
I started to ask some questions. I asked who he was at the pub with for 3 hours before going to his friends, he said nobody. Didn't speak to anyone at all, just sat and watched the football. For some reason I just didn't believe him. So last night when he fell asleep, for the first time in our relationship, I checked his phone. Nothing on messages, or calls. I checked deleted messages and there it was. A chain of messages from Friday starting from 8pm - 1am. First one at 8pm is "Hi it's Tina, this is my number xx" "Where have you gone?" he replies "to my friend xxxx house, why don't you come here?" she then asks him to pick her up but he says he's drank too much and to get a cab. She doesn't reply right away so he texts her and says "trying to call you but it's going to voicemail, are you coming or not?" The messages end there.
I confronted him, he says this is just a friend he knew from the pub years and years ago, not seen her for ages and that is innocent, she's got a partner. Not much of a friend because he doesn't know her surname, or how old she is, just casually drank together 12 years ago.
AIBU to think that something else has gone off? How would you all feel if your partner did this and you found these messages? Please go easy on me, feeling pretty vulnerable and heartbroken right now. We bought our dream house together 9 months ago. xx