AIBU to think my idea of Christmas Day isn’t miserable at all?

[Brandysauce]

DH and I have a three year old and, now they’re old enough to really set out “our” Christmas Day traditions, have been constantly disagreeing on the order of Christmas Day. I have extremely fond memories (as we all do) of the way I did it growing up and think it makes great sense on the day re. presents. This is my proposal:

Stocking from Father Christmas opened first thing in the morning, brought into parents’ room and ripped open in excitement. This will consist of at least one “really exciting” present that will entertain them all morning.

Later on, the family all convene for Christmas Dinner which can stretch on for a while, all the family are there including cousins.

After lunch, the whole family moves to the living room by the Christmas tree and then the main present opening begins, taking in turns.

My DH says this is a “miserable” way of doing Christmas and that we should let DC open all presents in the morning. AIBU to want to put my foot down on this?

Kids would be sad waiting!
We open presents as soon as we are up. It usually takes most of the day, as they'll open one play with it. They don't just rip them all open, but they could if they chose to.

Because every eye is on them doing it probably. They need to get a smile ready to freeze and a comment on how grateful they are in case they hate it. Means taking a bit of time opening.

The presents from me and DH would be opened at the same time as all the other family presents after lunch.

But you do exactly what we do then… open in the morning before lunch. So I’m completely confused now, as I thought you were arguing that people who open them in the morning rip them open in a crazed frenzy and don’t appreciate them?

When ours were small we used to open everything in the morning as the excitement was way too much.

They’re older now and only our 17 year old is at home, we now do stockings on the bed and then move downstairs for hot chocolate and gifts one at a time, we always give the dogs theirs first 😂

We’ve always done it OP’s way. DH and I did it that way with our families growing up.

Stocking in the morning with bits and bobs, new pants, funky socks, puzzles, a couple of games, colouring stuff, chocolate, etc.

Everything else goes under the tree and opened after lunch.

My kids are 19 and 24 now but we always used to do it that way.

We did open stockings and presents straight after one year, but they found it all a bit overwhelming and a bit sad that it was all over and done with. They prefer the main presents in the afternoon.

The last couple of years we’ve had our main Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve. Opened stockings on Christmas morning and then taken bacon sarnies and the dog down to the beach, popped in the pub and then home for a late lunch - they still prefer to open main presents after lunch.

After lunch they get to set up and play with their toys, or open gifts from wider family and friends. Growing up we opened stockings and parent’s gifts in the morning, then presents from Grandparents and tree presents in the afternoon. We saved gifts from aunts, uncles etc for Boxing Day.

OP myself and my OH were in a similar situation! He was from the tradition that Santa presents were opened in the morning and gifts from other people were opened after dinner. In my house, we grew up opening everything in the morning. Our compromise was our kids open all presents in the morning except the ones from his family. So all presents from grandparents, aunts and uncles on that side are left until after dinner!

See I think I would prefer the split. If the parents give their presents in the morning and respective family bring their gifts when they come later them kids are more likely to remember who gave them what, so the one gift from aunty x doesn't get lost in the massive pile and dc doesn't even notice it or remember that aunty gave them a present.

YABU for not wanting to compromise. However, I do think there's something in your way: we always opened all ours (with the exception of family gifts given later that day) first thing so we're sometimes opened before it was even 6am when we were older! However, a friend had a Christmas Night gift tradition which was the main gift and I must say I wished my parents did this tradition.

So, when our DC are older, we will let them open everything from Santa in the morning then keep one special gift (perhaps we'll say it is from us and not Santa but I'm not too bothered about him taking the credit...) which will be opened in the evening.

Doesn't happen here. Labels are read and presents handed out then a list made as they are read for the thank you letters later. At no point has anyone in my childhood or DH's or my now extended family has ever been allowed to just go for it and open whatever they want without supervision.

This is pretty much exactly what we do. Extended family presents only after lunch. Otherwise it's just too endless! And we don't all watch while each person unwraps.

We do it your way OP and it's lovely and also means the people cooking dinner can sit and enjoy the present opening. Also avoids the gawping at TV all afternoon.

What time are people having Xmas dinner if morning present opening interferes with it?

So the whole reason for those who make everyone wait is so it can be performance opening.

The oh I wonder what it is. Shake it. Squish it.
Slowly slowly open it getting your fake smile ready
have a long look while smiling to think of a nice comment to make even if it is shit

Sit nicely with big smile of anticipation while next person does the same while giving comments of oooo what could it be rinse and repeat…

Because that’s exactly how the in-laws do it and I’m sorry there is only so many times you can smile and pass a nice comment on some Christmas socks, a wood house decoration. Only so many wows to each child who’s there when they open something when there’s now 5 plus children. Only so many times can someone go oooo do you think it’s a skateboard… maybe it’s a bike when it’s clearly not.

Children opening all in the morning doesn’t have to be mad chaos of ripping madness. It does give them all day to then play with and use and doesn’t make it oooo look 2pm here’s another present. Oooo 8pm here’s another like thats the only part of the day. We get new board games and such as presents so we play then together as a family without performance gawping.

About 2 ish but as the cook I am pretty much in the kitchen all morning. I also never felt like a 'poor kid's as my Christmas stocking kept me busy all morning. We had dinner then the grown ups got coffee or Irish coffee and everyone was relaxed . It was the best time of day and no need to be rushed.

I don’t understand this why would anyone be missing from morning presents? Surely you are not prepping and cooking for five/six hours. I would think most people prep the day before anyway?

We are always there to open gifts, and then start cooking after no?

Also nowadays my family won't arrive until about midday so very much busy in kitchen.

We are always there to open gifts, and then start cooking after no?

No.

And I am working the day before until 5pm.

Why? You can easily open stockings, open main gifts, prepare a light breakfast and play for an hour - have a shower - a tidy up before cooking. I don’t understand why this is even an issue, unless you have guests arriving far too early.

Someone else needs to prep then!

So the whole reason for those who make everyone wait is so it can be performance opening.

The oh I wonder what it is. Shake it.
Squish it.
Slowly slowly open it getting your fake smile ready
have a long look while smiling to think of a nice comment to make even if it is shit

Nope. More like so we can go:
"Right what does this one say? To Freddie from Aunty Jane and Uncle Tom. Excellent. Ooh, what is it? A lego set? Brilliant, that looks great for later. Let me right that down"
Done. It's for the listing for thank yous, not for showing reactions.

Good luck if you do it your way. By age 3 my kids where up extremely early very excited about Santa coming. No way would they have waited untill later.

Good luck if you do it your way. By age 3 my kids where up extremely early very excited about Santa coming. No way would they have waited untill later.